Discussion Any other "shitty people with an strong sense of morality" here?

[Ihavenofriends]

A common sentiment that's thrown around here is that good people tend to suffer for no good reason, and bad people get off easy... So, is there anyone here who views their ctb as a way of "evening" that out? I'm a shitty person, and I'm middle class, have a good family, a good education, a nice job... It isn't fair that people who were abused as children are on here, and are probably going to ctb at some point, while shitty people succeed in life. I feel like my ctb is a way of making things right. I can never atone for the things I've done, my ctb is right and just at this point... I need to kill myself, I deserve it. Thoughts?

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

Nonsensical comparison. Someone being worse off doesn't affect whether ctb is the right choice for you or not.

 

[Ihavenofriends]

Nonsensical comparison. Someone being worse off doesn't affect whether ctb is the right choice for you or not.

It isn't that. It's me being a perpetrator, and them being a victim, and them being more unhappy than I am. It's unfair.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

It isn't that. It's me being a perpetrator, and them being a victim, and them being more unhappy than I am. It's unfair.

Don't see how that's relevant to if you want to continue living or not.

 

[Ihavenofriends]

Don't see how that's relevant to if you want to continue living or not.

I don't want to live because I'm a shitty person and I don't deserve the relatively easy life I've been given. I see ctb as a way to atone, if that makes sense?

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

I don't want to live because I'm a shitty person and I don't deserve the relatively easy life I've been given. I see ctb as a way to atone, if that makes sense?

How would that atone? Atoning would be becoming what you think is a good person.

 

[WornOutLife]

It isn't that. It's me being a perpetrator, and them being a victim, and them being more unhappy than I am. It's unfair.

I see your point. I feel the same sometimes.
Unfortunately, this world and universe are unfair. Even innocent children die.

 

[Makko]

Unfairness is a fanciful concept made up to complain about any two things not being the same, when the complainer would like them to be. It's not a real thing that exists, outside of the rhetoric of those complaints. It doesn't justify or unjustify anything.

 

[botanormal]

Well, I'm not really sure what your situation is, so I couldn't judge you on what you say you've done. But what makes you say you're a shitty person? Is it just because you feel you have a 'good life', and you feel guilty because others have it worse? Because I don't really think our reasons for suicide can be compared. You say you're middle class, with a good family, good job, etc - but if you're still feeling suicidal, it doesn't really matter if you have the seemingly 'best life' or not, because you're still going through pain. That's what's important, and our pain can't really be compared, the only thing that matters is how it affects us personally. I'm sure there are many people who have more than you in life too, so does that mean you shouldn't be allowed to be happy? That sounds a bit silly, if you look at it in that way. So that being said, whether you were abused as a child or not, your pain is still valid, and you're allowed to feel the way you do.

Maybe that didn't answer your question properly though, so let me just add one more thing! I think truly abysmal people probably don't care that much about the ways in which they act. They do truly awful things, without a care in the world for how it affects their victims. So, if you truly feel remorse for whatever you say you've done, maybe you're not as shitty of a person as you think! I can't judge, because I'm not entirely sure of what it is you did, so maybe it's as bad as you say, or maybe it's something you feel really guilty about that isn't really your fault at all. Or it could be anywhere in-between! I don't really know many shitty people with a strong sense of morality, to be honest! But personally, I view death as an escape from this world's pain. If somebody who hurt me really badly decided to ctb, I wouldn't really feel better about anything. All it would do is relieve them of all the guilt they (potentially) felt. If a 'good person' is suffering, and a 'bad person' starts to suffer too, it doesn't take away any of the suffering the 'good person' is going through. It just adds more pain to the world, I think!

I don't know you personally, although I don't think many people really 'deserve' to die! You probably don't either. I wish you the best.

 

[Life_and_Death]

How would that atone? Atoning would be becoming what you think is a good person.

i think theyre saying that the only way they feel they can fix their mistakes is by killing themselves

I can never atone for the things I've done

It isn't that. It's me being a perpetrator, and them being a victim, and them being more unhappy than I am. It's unfair.

OP my i ask if you have tried being a nicer person? people can change and one cant change the past. basically, you cant change the things youve done however you can make the future better.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

i think theyre saying that the only way they feel they can fix their mistakes is by killing themselves

Assailant: *Stabs you in the gut*
You: "Oh darn, how will you atone for this?"
Assailant: It's fine, look, *shoots himself*

 

[TheSomebody]

I had a very strong sense of morality, but when I started to think that morality is subjective and free will is an illusion, I stopped worrying about it. There are no "innocents" in the world, those people that you consider to be good can be complete assholes from others perspective. While at the same time everyone can be considered "innocent", as we are victims from a cycle of cause and effects and a world that has always been corrupt.

 

[Life_and_Death]

Assailant: *Stabs you in the gut*
You: "Oh darn, how will you atone for this?"
Assailant: It's fine, look, *shoots himself*

i can understand the feeling especially if its a mental thing and they really dont mean to, which honestly i think it might be. (if im remembering the name right which im fairly confident i am, if not sorry OP) they went onto one of my threads and basically told me to fuck off, they didnt use those words but that was the vibe from it and they also said get a diary. and yes i was pissed because it was a heartless comment however after reading this and some of the other things they have said, im willing to give them another chance. although that was what they said, what they have said since makes me wonder if they actually meant what they said to me or if it was one of those bad day disorder things that i myself have to deal with so i understand

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

A common sentiment that's thrown around here is that good people tend to suffer for no good reason, and bad people get off easy... So, is there anyone here who views their ctb as a way of "evening" that out? I'm a shitty person, and I'm middle class, have a good family, a good education, a nice job... It isn't fair that people who were abused as children are on here, and are probably going to ctb at some point, while shitty people succeed in life. I feel like my ctb is a way of making things right. I can never atone for the things I've done, my ctb is right and just at this point... I need to kill myself, I deserve it. Thoughts?

I think I understand exactly how you feel. I see myself as a villain who will absolutely continue to do horrible things and intentionally hurt people for my own gain if I'm allowed to continue to live.

My opinion of myself is so low because only I know the depths I would sink to if given the ability. The only reason I'm nicer to people is not out of altruism or warmth, but out of a cold calculated maneuver to avoid conflict for myself. My laziness puts me in a weird position where if I weren't so lazy I would definitely be manipulating people way more and trying to make them suffer for my own pleasure. I can't control this desire, I can only not indulge it by being a lazy unproductive piece of trash so either way I'm irredeemable.

I truly think the most noble thing I can do to right the wrongs I've done is to kill myself. It seems you think the same. I can't say for sure if this is the right path for you, only you know that. I don't see any other course for redemption for myself but maybe you can? I have no helpful suggestions since if I did I would be using them myself...

 

[aneurysm]

I need to kill myself, I deserve it. Thoughts?

OP:
1. you asking this is against the rules I believe :)

(this rule : Do not try to get the community to tell you what to do, only you can choose your path and actions.)

2. you don't sound like a bad person. You sound like a very empathic person so you killing yourself would feel more like the loss of an ally. but of course, it's up to you

 

[Life_and_Death]

OP:
1. you asking this is against the rules I believe :)

(this rule : Do not try to get the community to tell you what to do, only you can choose your path and actions.)

they arent asking us on how to do. only if they deserve it. so no...although i feel it counts as against the rules in general because you shouldnt tell people "you should kill yourself" instead one should show them how to change and be a better person.

Be respectful.

• Disrespect is not tolerated on the forum.

 

[Belaya Noch]

I'm a shitty person, and I'm middle class, have a good family, a good education, a nice job... It isn't fair that people who were abused as children are on here, and are probably going to ctb at some point, while shitty people succeed in life. I feel like my ctb is a way of making things right.

I can somewhat relate, but in a more global sense. As a beneficiary of Western civilisation, sometimes I feel guilty for people in Third World countries, who are sort of exploited for the sake of our prosperity. And if I die, the demand for resources will slightly decrease, thanks to which someone less privileged may have a better chance of consuming them. This is by no way a decisive factor, but I include it in the ethical balance of my CTB on the plus side.

 

[Life_and_Death]

I can somewhat relate, but in a more global sense. As a beneficiary of Western civilisation, sometimes I feel guilty for people in Third World countries, who are sort of exploited for the sake of our prosperity. And if I die, the demand for resources will slightly decrease, thanks to which someone less privileged may have a better chance of consuming them. This is by no way a decisive factor, but I include it in the ethical balance of my CTB on the plus side.

i understand that. every time im standing at the sink doing something looking at my clean water i think of people elsewhere

 

[Spiral]

I can somewhat relate, but in a more global sense. As a beneficiary of Western civilisation, sometimes I feel guilty for people in Third World countries, who are sort of exploited for the sake of our prosperity. And if I die, the demand for resources will slightly decrease, thanks to which someone less privileged may have a better chance of consuming them. This is by no way a decisive factor, but I include it in the ethical balance of my CTB on the plus side.

I have put a lot of thought into this also, Ctb to stop consuming resources feels right to me but sadly I am also aware that my suicide will have no greater affect than removing a single grain of sand from the desert. Sad but true, the growth rate of the human population is so out of control now that even a mass exodus wouldn't slow us down much :(

 

[Ihavenofriends]

i can understand the feeling especially if its a mental thing and they really dont mean to, which honestly i think it might be. (if im remembering the name right which im fairly confident i am, if not sorry OP) they went onto one of my threads and basically told me to fuck off, they didnt use those words but that was the vibe from it and they also said get a diary. and yes i was pissed because it was a heartless comment however after reading this and some of the other things they have said, im willing to give them another chance. although that was what they said, what they have said since makes me wonder if they actually meant what they said to me or if it was one of those bad day disorder things that i myself have to deal with so i understand

Oh I remember saying that. I think it came out meaner than it should've, but I didn't mean to be mean. Sorry.

 

[Life_and_Death]

Oh I remember saying that. I think it came out meaner than it should've, but I didn't mean to be mean. Sorry.

Uh huh that's what I thought that's cool. I'm up for giving you another chance. I can understand having a bad day or whatever. Feel free to pm me if you ever are again

 

[ClosetGoth]

IMHO, try to be a 'nice' person today to redeem yourself. Do something that makes someone's day, a random act of kindness maybe? You can turn this around. Best wishes.

 

[GarageKarate07]

A common sentiment that's thrown around here is that good people tend to suffer for no good reason, and bad people get off easy... So, is there anyone here who views their ctb as a way of "evening" that out? I'm a shitty person, and I'm middle class, have a good family, a good education, a nice job... It isn't fair that people who were abused as children are on here, and are probably going to ctb at some point, while shitty people succeed in life. I feel like my ctb is a way of making things right. I can never atone for the things I've done, my ctb is right and just at this point... I need to kill myself, I deserve it. Thoughts?

I'm just tired of seeing good people get fucked over constantly, in mass, repeat, do nothing, then let themselves get fucked over again. This is why children are CTB! Kids as young as 13 start to realize this place is NOT what they tell us in school and church and on the fucking government owned news.

Mass Mind Control Through Network Television

rense.com

So it's no small stretch that children a little younger 8-9 can pretty much figure out the same thing. Your society tells you "there's a future for you because we love our children" but then you see the slaughter in the middle east, 911, the current event and the joke that is, no health care, malevolent banks who literally steal from your parents as they do nothing, and so on. Future? For me? Because you love me? Not to mention the absolute hell as adults that we are "proud" to have our children go through. The government is fucking my little Johnny over now to and I couldn't be any prouder! It's absolutely a sick fucking joke. I think the best course is to keep doing the same thing (letting the bad people tell you how to live and how your children should live in the future) and see if that helps.

I think "good people dying" is just good people being smart and getting the fuck out of dodge. ❤

 

[TooConscious]

A common sentiment that's thrown around here is that good people tend to suffer for no good reason, and bad people get off easy... So, is there anyone here who views their ctb as a way of "evening" that out? I'm a shitty person, and I'm middle class, have a good family, a good education, a nice job... It isn't fair that people who were abused as children are on here, and are probably going to ctb at some point, while shitty people succeed in life. I feel like my ctb is a way of making things right. I can never atone for the things I've done, my ctb is right and just at this point... I need to kill myself, I deserve it. Thoughts?

I see where you're coming from
But bear in mind that Usually people who feel shitty about themselves are made to feel shitty about themselves by shitty people.