Any other adult male feel uncomfortable calling yourself a man?

[seekingoblivion]

I mean like you don't qualify. I'm weak, oversensitive, pathetic, unintelligent, unmotivated, unambitious, boring, unconfident, downright stupid, useless and unnecessary. I feel weird when someone calls me a man. I pretty much feel like responding "I'm no such thing dude I'm just a walking piece of shit. " Anyone experience something similar? Do the ladies here have any problems similar to this also?

 

[spanishguy22]

You aren't your mental illness. So yeah. You're a man. But I understand your frustration

 

[elcade]

I mean like you don't qualify. I'm weak, oversensitive, pathetic, unintelligent, unmotivated, unambitious, boring, unconfident, downright stupid, useless and unnecessary. I feel weird when someone calls me a man. I pretty much feel like responding "I'm no such thing dude I'm just a walking piece of shit. " Anyone experience something similar? Do the ladies here have any problems similar to this also?

-it's difficult to pull out of the societal construction of the definition of "what is a real [gender]"
- the feeling to feel useless is so painful and sometimes I have trouble to be called " women" too
I'm just like you said a piece of shit who gets lost in this earth

 

[Escaper Boy]

I don't feel like I have the mental age of adult man. I still feel like a 14 years old boy inside. And I never feel comfortable "growing up". I dislike the idea of being an adult for some reason.

The idea of adulthood seems grim and dark, like an empty dry wasteland during the dusk. There is no joy, no adventure, no future. Just a hopeless existence with predictable hopeless ending.

 

[Youthanasia]

I can understand why this happens to some people... I was like this, but for a very brief period in early 20s

It's normal I guess, men have it rough in the 21th century with all the pampering, lack of testosterone in our education and women empowerment. I would assume that in most part of history, any boy would rather be called a man no matter what.

 

[spanishguy22]

It's normal I guess, men have it rough in the 21th century with all the pampering, lack of testosterone in our education and women empowerment. I would assume that in most part of history, any boy would rather be called a man no matter what.

Severe depression is the biggest emasculating agent that a human being can experience. Before this I was completely different. It's just torture.

 

[Xaphous]

I'm a manchild, because of the isolation. I look at people my age and I look half their age. You may not grow mentally or physically when you are constantly isolated. I can't undo the stagnation now so it is what it is.

 

[Youthanasia]

Severe depression is the biggest emasculating agent that a human being can experience. Before this I was completely different. It's just torture.

I know where you coming from, it's related to my point. In that particular matter I guess I was lucky to deal with sexually related depression when i was younger, 17-19s.

I've always been a severe critic to 3rd generation feminism (not even mentioning im not particularly fond of early feminism), even in this forum. Surely i'm not a specialist but I read a lot, discussing about something you don't understand is a prequel to embarrassment.

Sadly for me, having that sort of development in my bag wasnt enough to prevent me from being suicidal. And I go as far as saying that even having my own matters settled, feminism still plays a major role in making me who I am, which sucks because while not really depressed I can say I'm a walking piece of shit... of a man

 

[TheGoodGuy]

I never call myself a man I call myself a guy, I have no masculine traits I am not dominant, assertive, strong none of that, my wrists are 13.5cm/5.3inches I am small and frail as fuck and I see myself as a man-child. I want to be a child again or even teenager.

To me life end´s past 20 years old there are too many responsibilities like bills, earning money and you have to work so hard on things that just fell into your lab as a child or teenager i.e. friends, back in the day I just met friends out of no where now I would have to go so much out of my way to make friends and still fail everything as an adult takes a thousand times more effort than it did as a teenager or child.

 

[Flash]

We never really grow up but our body changes. You, me and every other male figure knows in their mind there's just a little you wanting time out and just play with our toys and sometimes throw small stones at moving traffic vehicles.

You have a high...really high metabolism you're possibly an ectomorph. This is greater than you think because you have a valid reason to get prescription anabolic steroids. None of that animal roids screened only Once for bacteria that you get on the dark web or streets Orr even the Gym out of all places.

Human steroids are screened twice and injectables need to be a fridge like temperature so the molecular structure doesn't fall apart and become basically ineffective. hence the recommendations.

If I saw you walking by, I wouldn't even have a second thought

YOU MUSN'T BE PARANOID

You will need a GP referral to a sports clinic from there they will judge on what type of anabolics should be on

 

[Gooseygoes]

I'm a woman who works with a lot of men. I feel like most of them feel like you except they don't vocalize it.

 

[Youthanasia]

Im not even first world and this is also noticeable in here

 

[EddieAllenPoe]

I've struggled a little with these kind of thoughts. I think it's just in my mind though. It's not that there isn't some kind of truth to the labels you're using. There are plenty of things you can point to in a guy that you might call "masculine". But when I actually look at the people living in the world I see how it's all relative. I've actually seen plenty of men I would consider to be pretty effeminate who have amazing girlfriends and good jobs. I'm often jealous. Flip side, I've seen men who spend all day in the gym who are "really masculine" but it seems pointless and self absorbed. It makes me wonder... Who are they trying to impress? I've often fell somewhere inbetween these two extremes. When I felt like I was getting out of shape and needed to push myself to go to a gym, I would. I'd kick my own ass to do it. But I've also had times I've been a little too "hard headed" and maybe too stubborn/aggressive with women I've dated. Times like that I wish I had learned to be a little more "effeminate"/sensitive so I wouldn't have ruined a good relationship. I think you got to keep in mind a lot of the things you're saying are personal judgements. At the end of the day there's nobody perfect in the world. You got to learn to accept yourself for where you're at. If you're unhappy and you see little things you'd like to improve... go for it. Don't drag yourself through the gutter though. There's no reason to believe you're somehow worth less than anyone else.

 

[Gooseygoes]

Im not even first world and this is also noticeable in here

I feel like there's an anger simmering with SOME American men that they attribute to any and all things BUT THEMSELVES. Ugh.

The truth is that life is challenging and most people have to evolve to become faster, smarter and stronger. There's a group of people who don't want to evolve and get angry at those around them because it's no longer mandatory to kiss a mediocre man's ass.

The times are changing but not fast enough for me to wait it out.

 

[Youthanasia]

I feel like there's an anger simmering with SOME American men that they attribute to any and all things BUT THEMSELVES. Ugh.

The truth is that life is challenging and most people have to evolve to become faster, smarter and stronger. There's a group of people who don't want to evolve and get angry at those around them because it's no longer mandatory to kiss a mediocre man's ass.

The times are changing but not fast enough for me to wait it out.

Right, men aren't dying fast enough. Judging by this thread and your previous answer, they're not mediocre enough too

 

[JadedGray]

I feel like still a teenager and I still carry myself like one apparently, since people even younger than me have called me "sweetie" or "young lady". I guess because I come across looking vulnerable. I've rarely been called "ma'am" or "miss". I've even been asked by complete strangers why I wasn't in school, even though I graduated years ago.

 

[TheFinalCountdown]

I don't feel like an adult. Probably because I haven't accomplished anything my entire life

 

[Ruffian]

I was going to reply to some people individually, but I'm just going to make one post. JadedGrey, if it makes you feel better, I'm 51 and a teacher. When I was 46 I worked with a different population of high school juniors/seniors than I was used to. And believe me, I look my age. They all called me sweetie and honey and I was like wtf? That's something no young person would ever call an older person in my day. I found out it just means they think you're a really good person, a sweetheart, they can trust you. So you may just give off a vibe that you're youthful and people may really see the good in you.

As for the young men on here, as an older woman who cannot tolerate any man with a college education, may I say I feel for you? Feminism has warped your minds beyond belief, so trying to get information from Tucker Carlson on what it means to be a man is ridiculous. It's like me asking a white nationalist what it means to be black. Seriously, it's that bad. I followed the men's movement for a long time, and I understand a lot of the feelings. Most men I know are blue collar and older, and good lord do they have it easier. They aren't trying to fill their minds up on what to say to you, how to act, etc. They are trying to get through the workday so they can come home expecting to see you making dinner, yet don't give a shit when you order take out. Then tuck away a few bucks to get you a gift card to your favorite store for your birthday and Christmas. It's that simple.

I've never understood women who can't get or keep a man. I don't understand men who don't watch football, maybe that's why it's pretty easy for me. If you let the men I know watch the game and bring them a sandwich, and shut up for 3 hours, you've got him. I mean, I know it's different for everyone, but for my age and demographics, that's all I need. to know. I have a Master's degree and I'm the breadwinner with my boyfriend who I live with. He doesn't care. Every man I've ever dated with a college degree wanted to debate me to death on EVEY.LITTLE.THING. Because I've never met any man I couldn't run circles around intellectually, it was very draining. Men without degrees don't even know how to get in the ring, let alone argue with you on some stupid shit like what kind of car you drive

I know I've really given a very simplistic version of things, but please don't listen to that Fox News hate. It isn't just women they hate. They hate everyone who isn't male, white, and Protestant. One of biggest critics of feminism is that it's mostly concerned with a very narrow demographic of white women who want to be corporate CEOs.

Now, I forget who said they had a problem with first wave feminism, but you need to do some homework. All those women were really trying to do was vote. And even they were kind of bitches because they didn't give a fuck about black women. Like systematically blocked them from the polls. Third wave just set women back to the Middle Ages.

Anyway, don't kill yourselves. You all sound white, young, and American. It's our problematic history with economics and what our definition of a democracy is. Basically, if you're not born rich, you're a piece of shit. It's actually built into our whole political system to protect politicians and those with wealth. It's written into our laws to be so, it's not some paranoia even. For a brief period in history while the economy was good it was possible to work hard and get ahead. As that slips away EVERYONE is going to be fighting for their piece of the pie. Truth be told, even if I don't kill myself, I'm just glad I'll be dead soon.

If you want to check out a relatively sane feminist try Camille Paglia. You can watch her on YouTube even. She talks really really fast so you may not catch on to what's she's saying right away. She's a professor at University of the Arts in Philly, a lesbian, and she butchers 2nd wave and 3rd wave feminists. She likes men a lot. So do I, and it's just this political economy that's horrible. Don't be too hard on young women, they are really confused too. Like the whole career/motherhood debate. They sound like total whiners to my generation who worked, had kids, and never gave it that much thought.

 

[JadedGray]

I was going to reply to some people individually, but I'm just going to make one post. JadedGrey, if it makes you feel better, I'm 51 and a teacher. When I was 46 I worked with a different population of high school juniors/seniors than I was used to. And believe me, I look my age. They all called me sweetie and honey and I was like wtf? That's something no young person would ever call an older person in my day. I found out it just means they think you're a really good person, a sweetheart, they can trust you. So you may just give off a vibe that you're youthful and people may really see the good in you.

As for the young men on here, as an older woman who cannot tolerate any man with a college education, may I say I feel for you? Feminism has warped your minds beyond belief, so trying to get information from Tucker Carlson on what it means to be a man is ridiculous. It's like me asking a white nationalist what it means to be black. Seriously, it's that bad. I followed the men's movement for a long time, and I understand a lot of the feelings. Most men I know are blue collar and older, and good lord do they have it easier. They aren't trying to fill their minds up on what to say to you, how to act, etc. They are trying to get through the workday so they can come home expecting to see you making dinner, yet don't give a shit when you order take out. Then tuck away a few bucks to get you a gift card to your favorite store for your birthday and Christmas. It's that simple.

I've never understood women who can't get or keep a man. I don't understand men who don't watch football, maybe that's why it's pretty easy for me. If you let the men I know watch the game and bring them a sandwich, and shut up for 3 hours, you've got him. I mean, I know it's different for everyone, but for my age and demographics, that's all I need. to know. I have a Master's degree and I'm the breadwinner with my boyfriend who I live with. He doesn't care. Every man I've ever dated with a college degree wanted to debate me to death on EVEY.LITTLE.THING. Because I've never met any man I couldn't run circles around intellectually, it was very draining. Men without degrees don't even know how to get in the ring, let alone argue with you on some stupid shit like what kind of car you drive

I know I've really given a very simplistic version of things, but please don't listen to that Fox News hate. It isn't just women they hate. They hate everyone who isn't male, white, and Protestant. One of biggest critics of feminism is that it's mostly concerned with a very narrow demographic of white women who want to be corporate CEOs.

Now, I forget who said they had a problem with first wave feminism, but you need to do some homework. All those women were really trying to do was vote. And even they were kind of bitches because they didn't give a fuck about black women. Like systematically blocked them from the polls. Third wave just set women back to the Middle Ages.

Anyway, don't kill yourselves. You all sound white, young, and American. It's our problematic history with economics and what our definition of a democracy is. Basically, if you're not born rich, you're a piece of shit. It's actually built into our whole political system to protect politicians and those with wealth. It's written into our laws to be so, it's not some paranoia even. For a brief period in history while the economy was good it was possible to work hard and get ahead. As that slips away EVERYONE is going to be fighting for their piece of the pie. Truth be told, even if I don't kill myself, I'm just glad I'll be dead soon.

If you want to check out a relatively sane feminist try Camille Paglia. You can watch her on YouTube even. She talks really really fast so you may not catch on to what's she's saying right away. She's a professor at University of the Arts in Philly, a lesbian, and she butchers 2nd wave and 3rd wave feminists. She likes men a lot. So do I, and it's just this political economy that's horrible. Don't be too hard on young women, they are really confused too. Like the whole career/motherhood debate. They sound like total whiners to my generation who worked, had kids, and never gave it that much thought.

Well, that's good to know. I've never seen a student call their teacher that. Maybe it's a Gen. Z thing. I'm a Millennial and I've never seen someone my age say that to someone older.

 

[TAW122]

I don't consider myself a man, more like a pansy when it comes to many things in life. I do however, try to be assertive when I can or when I feel like I'm being wronged.

 

[Gooseygoes]

I was going to reply to some people individually, but I'm just going to make one post. JadedGrey, if it makes you feel better, I'm 51 and a teacher. When I was 46 I worked with a different population of high school juniors/seniors than I was used to. And believe me, I look my age. They all called me sweetie and honey and I was like wtf? That's something no young person would ever call an older person in my day. I found out it just means they think you're a really good person, a sweetheart, they can trust you. So you may just give off a vibe that you're youthful and people may really see the good in you.

As for the young men on here, as an older woman who cannot tolerate any man with a college education, may I say I feel for you? Feminism has warped your minds beyond belief, so trying to get information from Tucker Carlson on what it means to be a man is ridiculous. It's like me asking a white nationalist what it means to be black. Seriously, it's that bad. I followed the men's movement for a long time, and I understand a lot of the feelings. Most men I know are blue collar and older, and good lord do they have it easier. They aren't trying to fill their minds up on what to say to you, how to act, etc. They are trying to get through the workday so they can come home expecting to see you making dinner, yet don't give a shit when you order take out. Then tuck away a few bucks to get you a gift card to your favorite store for your birthday and Christmas. It's that simple.

I've never understood women who can't get or keep a man. I don't understand men who don't watch football, maybe that's why it's pretty easy for me. If you let the men I know watch the game and bring them a sandwich, and shut up for 3 hours, you've got him. I mean, I know it's different for everyone, but for my age and demographics, that's all I need. to know. I have a Master's degree and I'm the breadwinner with my boyfriend who I live with. He doesn't care. Every man I've ever dated with a college degree wanted to debate me to death on EVEY.LITTLE.THING. Because I've never met any man I couldn't run circles around intellectually, it was very draining. Men without degrees don't even know how to get in the ring, let alone argue with you on some stupid shit like what kind of car you drive

I know I've really given a very simplistic version of things, but please don't listen to that Fox News hate. It isn't just women they hate. They hate everyone who isn't male, white, and Protestant. One of biggest critics of feminism is that it's mostly concerned with a very narrow demographic of white women who want to be corporate CEOs.

Now, I forget who said they had a problem with first wave feminism, but you need to do some homework. All those women were really trying to do was vote. And even they were kind of bitches because they didn't give a fuck about black women. Like systematically blocked them from the polls. Third wave just set women back to the Middle Ages.

Anyway, don't kill yourselves. You all sound white, young, and American. It's our problematic history with economics and what our definition of a democracy is. Basically, if you're not born rich, you're a piece of shit. It's actually built into our whole political system to protect politicians and those with wealth. It's written into our laws to be so, it's not some paranoia even. For a brief period in history while the economy was good it was possible to work hard and get ahead. As that slips away EVERYONE is going to be fighting for their piece of the pie. Truth be told, even if I don't kill myself, I'm just glad I'll be dead soon.

If you want to check out a relatively sane feminist try Camille Paglia. You can watch her on YouTube even. She talks really really fast so you may not catch on to what's she's saying right away. She's a professor at University of the Arts in Philly, a lesbian, and she butchers 2nd wave and 3rd wave feminists. She likes men a lot. So do I, and it's just this political economy that's horrible. Don't be too hard on young women, they are really confused too. Like the whole career/motherhood debate. They sound like total whiners to my generation who worked, had kids, and never gave it that much thought.

I strongly agree with much of what you've said. I had such a visceral reaction when I saw the Tucker Carlson video and you very succinctly explained why:-)

 

[Mort]

Your lucky in one way you still feel sum thing i can no longer feel anything. I no longer think of myself as human i just exist as sum thing i don't know what but sum thing . I no longer feel anything sadness happiness hope despair love hate all gone they seem to have gone a few weeks ago just got up one morning and all gone. I look at the world around me and it seems all the colour has gone out the world all the warmth and coldness is no longer they . I look at people going about their daily lives on they phones take about they telly shows and other things . I use to fell sad for them how they were blinded to the world but now nothing i just look at them and feel nothing. Even food doesn't taste the same anymore just no taste at tall every thing gone i think not to shore but my memory mite be going to . I can seem the remember what i did at school it was 30 years ago but i could remember most of it but now its gone i think other memories have gone to . I think i was in love with sum one but its just half of an idea its just a image of sum one dont know who thought. It all most feel like this person is at the middle of all this like are hell i dont know i say feeling but think that just a memory to . Its like i am already dead but my body is still going its was to say feel weird but it's just not they . Well dont know what to do may for the best i dont know well best be getting up today but dont know why as they no feeling left well see what happens by all

 

[seekingoblivion]

I feel like still a teenager and I still carry myself like one apparently, since people even younger than me have called me "sweetie" or "young lady". I guess because I come across looking vulnerable. I've rarely been called "ma'am" or "miss". I've even been asked by complete strangers why I wasn't in school, even though I graduated years ago.

Damn I'm sorry about that. I have a bit of an idea what you must feel like. Right now though people treat me like I'm way older than I am which is a different story from before.

 

[seekingoblivion]

There's no reason to believe you're somehow worth less than anyone else.

Unfortunately I have a few. Thank you for your response though. Well there's the gym dudes but that really ain't something I admire or am concerned with. The effeminate dudes you're talking about are probably more manly than the gym dudes you mention.

 

[JadedGray]

Damn I'm sorry about that. I have a bit of an idea what you must feel like. Right now though people treat me like I'm way older than I am which is a different story from before.

Thanks. It can be annoying and feel demeaning but then I would probably also complain if I got mistaken for being older too. Even though you don't feel comfortable being treated as older because of how you see yourself, at least other people seem to see you as mature and well put together.

 

[seekingoblivion]

Thanks. It can be annoying and feel demeaning but then I would probably also complain if I got mistaken for being older too. Even though you don't feel comfortable being treated as older because of how you see yourself, at least other people seem to see you as mature and well put together.

Well it comes with a certain pressure. I can't act a fool. Though at this point I couldn't act a fool even if I tried. Growing up I was also mistaken for a girl a lot. Talk about emasculating.

 

[Tally]

Very much so, though that comes more from the limitations and restrictions that come with mentel illness and the inability to lead a normal stereotypical "male" life. Not that there really should be one.

 

[Intodvoid]

Yeah similar feels here, when everyone is being selfish as hell.

 

[JadedGray]

Well it comes with a certain pressure. I can't act a fool. Though at this point I couldn't act a fool even if I tried. Growing up I was also mistaken for a girl a lot. Talk about emasculating.

That would be embarrassing, but I think it's better to be seen as a "pretty boy" than a "boyish girl". Most people find pretty boys attractive, hardly anyone sees boyish girls as attractive, at least from my experience.

 

[FauxEmotions]

Personally, I just feel like I'm not even human... just a meat sack shuffling through the world. Like, I don't think of it as now that's a proper man or that's a proper woman. I think of it as that's a good person, that's persons energy is amazing. When I look at myself, I just see an empty shell. My hermit crab has left to find a new home, and this shell is just floating around where the ocean takes it. Sometimes it gets picked up but only to be tossed back into the ocean.