any eating disorders?

[_habs1999]

where are all my ED folks? pop in and say hi!


and i might sound insane for this, but does anyone else like their eating disorder? view it as a net-positive? i love being able to control my weight and the way i look, no matter how neurotic i am about it lol

this sounds beyond messed up but i want to get to a certain BMI before i CTB

 

[Wolfjob_dayjob]

Me too!

Yo whatup my name is Jared I'm 19 and I don't know how to eat

(I joke...pm to add me on peach or MPA I guess)

 

[LastDay]

Not weird at all. I'm actually trying to get weight loss surgery to help me restrict better. I find that when I restrict it strengthens my CTB thoughts. I look forward and am excited by the thought of it consuming me.

 

[Smilla]

I'm unhappy that I will die 20 lbs overweight.

Only a couple years ago I was a taut 105lbs without much effort (eat healthy, stay active) and loved my size 0 figure but sitting around drinking all day really packed the pounds on. If you saw me you wouldn't think I looked overweight but I am, and I hate it.

I'm relieved though to be free of constantly worrying about my appearance, it was exhausting.

 

[JustAboutDone]

I don't have an "eating disorder" I just have no interest in eating anything that involves anything more complicated than unwrapping and consuming. Chocolate = unwrap, eat, done. I'm about 98 lbs probably a *bit* underweight. Room for more chocolate maybe.

 

[ReadyasEver]

98 lbs? I think just my skeleton weighs that much lol.

 

[JustAboutDone]

98 lbs? I think just my skeleton weighs that much lol.

I'm only 5"4 and a bit! You're Mr All American Hero at 6 foot ten !! :-)

 

[ReadyasEver]

No no no.....6' 5" cleft chin, large brow, resembling an oversized Neanderthal.

 

[TooLate2582]

Heyyyy. That's me. 35/m EDNOS with a penchant for binge/restrict

 

[TheCrow]

Anorexia (active & inactive for more than half my life). I absolutely adore it.

 

[TooLate2582]

Anorexia (active & inactive for more than half my life). I absolutely adore it.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who embraces it. Body checks a zillion times a day, measuring, weighing.

 

[TheCrow]

I'm glad I'm not the only one who embraces it. Body checks a zillion times a day, measuring, weighing.

Yes! I used to consider myself pro-ana, but now I don't put as much thought into the label & the "movement" per se, though I did wear a red bracelet for years. Being anorexic is my greatest accomplishment, my greatest love.

Sometimes as of late I've started to feel more guilty about it actually knowing people that grew up literally starving. I'm not going to eat bc I'm nuts, and all they got to eat was the free lunch at school? Wtf is wrong with me?!

But yes, every day, every week is a puzzle, planning, plotting. What can fit in where and how much? Weighing every day, logging it in.

 

[TooLate2582]

Their circumstances are not your fault. Like you, it's something I've worked hard at so I am prideful about it. My maintenance is roughly 1k calories a day; I hit my goal weight last year but I think I'll be happier 10 lower than that.

 

[TheCrow]

Their circumstances are not your fault. Like you, it's something I've worked hard at so I am prideful about it. My maintenance is roughly 1k calories a day; I hit my goal weight last year but I think I'll be happier 10 lower than that.

True. I hadn't counted calories lately, I mostly had a schedule of which days I could eat. But now I'm starting to look at calories, which I actually find stressful.

Congratulations on hitting your goal weight. It takes discipline. Once you hit a certain weight, you can always go lower, right? It's like, how far can I push this?...

 

[stellabelle]

I have BED, used to be anorexic.. I miss being thin.

 

[TheCrow]

I have BED, used to be anorexic.. I miss being thin.

Once you have an ED, it's often one extreme or another. Lots of anorexics become binge eaters when their disorder is inactive. Portia deRossi was 180 lbs when she first met Ellen, and she had previously been severely anorexic.

You are beautiful either way, any size. What are some of your favorite things to snack on? I love chips. Nice, salty original plain Pringles in the red can. Also, any candy. Preferably something gummy and fruity. And I love Boston cream donuts with that custard inside.

 

[stellabelle]

Once you have an ED, it's often one extreme or another. Lots of anorexics become binge eaters when their disorder is inactive. Portia deRossi was 180 lbs when she first met Ellen, and she had previously been severely anorexic.

You are beautiful either way, any size. What are some of your favorite things to snack on? I love chips. Nice, salty original plain Pringles in the red can. Also, any candy. Preferably something gummy and fruity. And I love Boston cream donuts with that custard inside.

Aww, thank you @TheCrow
Your snax sound amazing. I actually love honey Dijon kettle brand chips dipped in avocado, its my favorite snack. I'm trying to get away from food lately though. I need an alternative like popsicles or something.

 

[BeHope]

I used to have an ED (Anorexia Nervosa) a few years ago and was hospitalised for it, which wasn't very fun. I know what you mean though about the sense of control you get from it feeling good. For me, I'm content with the knowledge that if I ever feel the need to lose weight, I just have to do what I did before because honestly it wasn't very difficult at all and it certainly works.

I was apparently very close to death before I was hospitalised. I hadn't realised it at the time because I felt completely fine bar feeling a little light-headed here and there. At some point you eventually stop feeling hunger entirely - at least, that is what happened in my case. This is probably a bit morbid but it got me thinking that dying that way (starvation) wouldn't be that bad at all since my memory of it is that it is actually very peaceful.

 

[stellabelle]

I think what I miss most is feeling like I'm on the fringes of life...if I refuse to eat, I lose a little more, I'm closer to death...if I eat, I live a little more..that control is like a drug

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

Just the stress from life over eating. Especially the unhealthy stuff.

 

[Watson]

where are all my ED folks? pop in and say hi!


and i might sound insane for this, but does anyone else like their eating disorder? view it as a net-positive? i love being able to control my weight and the way i look, no matter how neurotic i am about it lol

this sounds beyond messed up but i want to get to a certain BMI before i CTB

Former anorexic here-- after much therapy, hospitalization and more therapy.
For me, eating is the only thing I can control in my life as everything else always falls to shambles.

I get where you are coming from and I enjoy letting my neurosis flourish but must admit when I was consumed by my ED, my mind was a terrifying place.
Now I'm in a place where I still have all my bad ED rules and restrictions but I have newer rules and restrictions that won't let me go full on skeletal + feeding tube again.

 

[TooLate2582]

True. I hadn't counted calories lately, I mostly had a schedule of which days I could eat. But now I'm starting to look at calories, which I actually find stressful.

Congratulations on hitting your goal weight. It takes discipline. Once you hit a certain weight, you can always go lower, right? It's like, how far can I push this?...

I count, roughly. Always round up. Have gfsa list of safe foods that I already know the measurements to.

Thanks; You hit the nail on the head; 175 was my goal. But let's keep going. I'm teetering around 170 now. Makes me soo happy when I dip into the 160's; even if it's 169.9.

 

[TooLate2582]

To add, throw into the mix that I'm a mid 30's straight man with a type A personality and things get really fun because I'm not supposed to be.

 

[TheCrow]

To add, throw into the mix that I'm a mid 30's straight man with a type A personality and things get really fun because I'm not supposed to be.

Aww. I met a guy in the hospital with ana, and he had an ED tattoo.

 

[TooLate2582]

I'm a guy who is "full of it" and use dark humor so so I routinely talk about my ED and my desire to CTB and no one's the wiser. I don't know if I could ever do a tattoo, though.

 

[lululoo]

Not fully, but I definitely have super messed up eating.
I love restricting and tracking and losing weight and being thin (thin for me; I was never really all that thin).
I love eating lots of food. It's the only thing that makes me feel better when I'm low, which is all the time. That and being thin. But food is more immediate.
So I'm torn.
Right now I am sucking at restricting. I wanted to lose weight just to know for once in my life what it felt like to actually be skinny. And also for the .00001% chance that it would help my pain. But I can't seem to make it happen. Now that my mind is getting more and more set on CBT'ing, it's gotten even harder to care about restricting.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

I binge eat for like two months straight and then diet really hardcore for two. It's crazy. My weight fluctuates big time.