Amumu

Amumu

Ctb - temporary solution for a permanent problem
Aug 29, 2020
2,623
This is one of the main reasons why I have suicidal thoughts, so I'm just asking
(Btw it is also one of the reasons why I can't have a girlfriend now.)
 
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MrBlue

MrBlue

Arcanist
Jul 1, 2020
416
I've suffered with BDD since I was about 11, so I know how horrible it can be and how it can manifest in really odd ways that make recognising it really difficult. I guess it depends ho you suffer from it, but I've heard be able to ask someone impartial about the worry can sometimes help. Is there a paticular thing your unhappy with?

Is the fact you're not in a relationship atm particularly troubling you? If you've been in a relationship before then that's evidence that you're still attractive enough to form relationships now, even if you don't feel like you are.
 
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T

timf

Enlightened
Mar 26, 2020
1,167
It might be helpful to determine if you have a full fledged mental condition or a fixation on a particular element. A mental condition might require medication or other management. However a fixation might be more amenable to modification. For example if someone were particularly cruel and made a hurtful comment, it can result in a person carrying that wound for a while. A greater problem might occur for a child who was raised by parents who were critical of appearance and developmentally a poor image was made a deep part of a person's identity.

Both of these situations can improve by applying the cold light of truth. I worked with a guy once whose face was one half a purple birth mark. I observed that while strikingly noticeable at first, after two weeks one never really gave it much thought.

The superficiality of appearance and the opinions of others are more strongly held by younger people. As one gets older, one finds that deeper things have greater importance. Consider the girl that marries a handsome young man only to regret ten years later that she would have been happier if she had married a guy who had a sense of humor.

Another technique to experiment with is that if you have a poor view of your body, stop thinking about is so much. Even though it is negative, it can still be a type of vanity. If you can divert more attention to your work, or other interests, it may allow enough of a distraction to help the negative emphasis to start to fade. If you are somewhat alone or have too much time on your hands, you might consider getting a puppy. They are affectionate no matter how you look and they require so much care, it can fill the time for someone who has too much of it on their hands.
 
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Amumu

Amumu

Ctb - temporary solution for a permanent problem
Aug 29, 2020
2,623
Thanks for the replies

I've suffered with BDD since I was about 11, so I know how horrible it can be and how it can manifest in really odd ways that make recognising it really difficult. I guess it depends ho you suffer from it, but I've heard be able to ask someone impartial about the worry can sometimes help. Is there a paticular thing your unhappy with?

I'm sorry mate I've suffered from it since I was very young too
My teeth, jaw, skin, eyebrows, hair, beard, knees, paucity, and the list goes on.
I'm often operated on the gums and jaw so it is an explanation for the first ones

Is the fact you're not in a relationship atm particularly troubling you? If you've been in a relationship before then that's evidence that you're still attractive enough to form relationships now, even if you don't feel like you are.

Yes it's troubling me but at this point I think it wouldn't help me anymore with regard to DMP
I've never really been in a relationship no.
 
Last edited:
Amumu

Amumu

Ctb - temporary solution for a permanent problem
Aug 29, 2020
2,623
It might be helpful to determine if you have a full fledged mental condition or a fixation on a particular element. A mental condition might require medication or other management. However a fixation might be more amenable to modification. For example if someone were particularly cruel and made a hurtful comment, it can result in a person carrying that wound for a while. A greater problem might occur for a child who was raised by parents who were critical of appearance and developmentally a poor image was made a deep part of a person's identity.

It's a full fledged mental condition and my 'friends' as a kid and a young teenager contributed to pissing me off definitely.

The superficiality of appearance and the opinions of others are more strongly held by younger people. As one gets older, one finds that deeper things have greater importance. Consider the girl that marries a handsome young man only to regret ten years later that she would have been happier if she had married a guy who had a sense of humor.

If you say so... I'm not convinced for now, but I hope so. My appearance has changed a lot since I'm major and it seems people appreciate it more now. It doesn't help that much since I was told the opposite 10,000 times when I was younger and it's definitely in my identity now.

Another technique to experiment with is that if you have a poor view of your body, stop thinking about is so much. Even though it is negative, it can still be a type of vanity. If you can divert more attention to your work, or other interests, it may allow enough of a distraction to help the negative emphasis to start to fade. If you are somewhat alone or have too much time on your hands, you might consider getting a puppy. They are affectionate no matter how you look and they require so much care, it can fill the time for someone who has too much of it on their hands.

I used to work a lot and maybe it helped a little bit idk.
 
Viceroy

Viceroy

Student
Oct 20, 2020
101
This is one of the main reasons why I have suicidal thoughts, so I'm just asking
(Btw it is also one of the reasons why I can't have a girlfriend now.)
yeah man same boat. I haven't looked in the mirror in 2 years. I cant remember what I look like. Its also a big factor in my wanting to die.
 
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