Venting Anxiety at night

[Deleted member 19654]

I used to love the night time. I loved how quiet and peaceful it was, how everyone else is asleep, I'm able to relax and slowly drift off into dreamland and leave all my worries behind.

Nowadays, I find that it's too quiet and it leaves me alone with all my thoughts. With my anxiety, I can't stop thinking and worrying about every little thing in my life. I just lie there thinking about how much I want to CTB. Sometimes I get really upset and I'll end up crying myself to sleep.

When I do eventually fall asleep, I end up having nightmares where the recurring theme is something bad will happen to me, I try to scream for help but no sound ever comes out. I don't really know what these dreams mean. I want to sleep because I want to forget about everything for a while, but I also don't want to sleep because of these damn nightmares.

I've been trying different techniques to make myself fall asleep faster but they don't always work. For example, I've been listening to some guided meditation to try and get my mind to relax but my anxiety won't go away.

The idea of CTB is so appealing to me because you're essentially going to sleep forever and you won't have to worry about anything ever again. No more anxiety and no more depression.

 

[SeekingSolace]

Sleep used to be my comfort as well...I would look forward to bedtime all day. Now I find myself getting anxious the closer it gets, because I know as soon as I wake up I have to start all over again. My anxiety causes stomach issues as well that contribute to my lack of sleep and further perpetuate the cycle of increasing anxiety. I used to be a different person, but since my medical issues began six years ago I don't even recognize myself. I constantly feel like a burden to those around me and it feels emotionally exhausting. I'm sorry to ramble.

I take Trazadone to help me sleep, and I keep a loud white noise app on all night long so that little sounds won't wake me as often from my light sleep.

I wish I could offer some help with the nightmares, but I haven't yet found a way to deal with my own. I'm here to talk if you need anything.

 

[Ghost2211]

Have you tried white noise or quiet music to help you feel less alone or more calm? Lack of sleep is the worst.

 

[Deleted member 19654]

Have you tried white noise or quiet music to help you feel less alone or more calm? Lack of sleep is the worst.

I use one of those relaxing sound apps where you can listen to rain, ocean sounds etc. Unfortunately my anxiety is a clingy bitch that doesn't want to leave me alone.

 

[Ghost2211]

I use one of those relaxing sound apps where you can listen to rain, ocean sounds etc. Unfortunately my anxiety is a clingy bitch that doesn't want to leave me alone.

Depression is a bossy bitch too.

 

[Good4Nothing]

I use one of those relaxing sound apps where you can listen to rain, ocean sounds etc. Unfortunately my anxiety is a clingy bitch that doesn't want to leave me alone.

Try listening to music with words.
I recommend the album "Disintegration", by The Cure. It never fails to help me sleep.

 

[Deathbydemo]

I know this feeling all too well. I can identify with everything you said, and I'm sorry that you feel this way too. Anxiety is a bitch.

May I recommend a song to you to try falling asleep to - Jon Gomm - Passionflower. It's such a calming, beautiful tune.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I can relate because I used to have anxiety every night due to being afraid of my nightmares or sleep paralysis too. I found that even calming music or podcasts didn't help when I was feeling this way because my anxiety would twist it into me being in some kind of horror movie situation and thinking that reality is lulling me into a false sense of security waiting to jump scare me with something.

I still get this feeling occasionally but unfortunately the only way I can handle it is by staying up until the sun comes out because only then does my body feel it's safe to sleep when I'm in this state. Sleeping with all the lights on in my room helped too but it ended up hurting my eyes to sleep this way and my mom wasn't happy about me wasting electricity. Another unfortunate fact is that sometimes the only way for me to actually deal with my sleep paralysis is to force out a good sleep schedule that's consistent and lasts 6-8.5 hours. Hopefully this helped in some way.

 

[Desky]

Changing to a predominately plant based diet has completely eliminated my lifetime of reoccurring nightmares.. this issue would have a carry over effect of so much unnecessary stress and brain fog during the day. Recently got a comprehensive blood panel and revealed that I had hypothyroidism.. most likely caused from years of stress and depression. Eliminating all foods that cause inflammation have improved my skin (no more full body rashes), my gut, and better quality sleep/mental health. You can fix a broken brain and the damages that accumulate over years of being stuck in a hellish loop. Diet, exercise, and thyroid hormone replacement have been my recipe to heal. Goodluck!

 

[kappa]

Honestly the only way I can sleep is when I take benzos. There is no calming my mind down without benzos.

Have a very active mind all the time, but it gets worse at night. It's like a never-ending record being played.

 

[Deleted member 19654]

I can relate because I used to have anxiety every night due to being afraid of my nightmares or sleep paralysis too. I found that even calming music or podcasts didn't help when I was feeling this way because my anxiety would twist it into me being in some kind of horror movie situation and thinking that reality is lulling me into a false sense of security waiting to jump scare me with something.

I still get this feeling occasionally but unfortunately the only way I can handle it is by staying up until the sun comes out because only then does my body feel it's safe to sleep when I'm in this state. Sleeping with all the lights on in my room helped too but it ended up hurting my eyes to sleep this way and my mom wasn't happy about me wasting electricity. Another unfortunate fact is that sometimes the only way for me to actually deal with my sleep paralysis is to force out a good sleep schedule that's consistent and lasts 6-8.5 hours. Hopefully this helped in some way.

You suffer from sleep paralysis? That's something I'm kinda terrified of, waking up from a nightmare and not being able to move.

I was trying to get myself into a better sleeping schedule by going to bed at a more reasonable time and waking up earlier but it's hard lol.

Honestly the only way I can sleep is when I take benzos. There is no calming my mind down without benzos.

Have a very active mind all the time, but it gets worse at night. It's like a never-ending record being played.

I wouldn't mind if I had some access to benzos. I'd have to get them off the DW or something because doctors don't prescribe them that easily.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

You suffer from sleep paralysis? That's something I'm kinda terrified of, waking up from a nightmare and not being able to move.

I was trying to get myself into a better sleeping schedule by going to bed at a more reasonable time and waking up earlier but it's hard lol.

Yeah, it really was scary at first especially since it first came with terrifying imagery that I could not escape from or even shout for help about. It happened to me so much though that nowadays I can usually tell it's happening whenever I can't move while laying down so it's easier for me to snap out of it though waiting until the sun rises is still the only way I can prevent myself from feeling it again that night should I happen to fall asleep.

It can be hard fixing a sleep schedule when it's already been messed with...I'm not expert on it either I can only force myself to wake up early if I have something important to wake up for and hope that that would make me tired enough to go to bed at a reasonable hour...