Antipsychotics are poison. I have a terrible experience with these drugs and even since I quit, about 3 months ago, it's like I woke up after 8 years of confusion. I was misdiagnosed with bipolar and had to take several antipsychotics over the course of the last 8 years, including olanzapine, quetiapine, aripiprazole, and risperidone. My sleep schedule is perfect now, I wake up after 6-8 hours of sleep fully rested, my anxiety is lower, no more brain fog, everything is so much better. It's like I've been dead inside all these years and now I came back to life. I still want to CTB because I despise life and people in general, life is still difficult for me, but my life has become so much more comfortable and easy now that I'm off psychiatric drugs. I was taking Depakote (similar name where I live, same substance anyway) as well, 1,200 mg a day. It was supposed to help me have a stable mood, but my mood is now as stable as it can be with BPD. It was paradoxical how these drugs worked against me and were causing me more harm. I'm not bashing psychiatry as a whole, it sometimes helps, but I hate it with a passion. It was a form of oppression for me and most psychiatrists see us a subhumans. The only help I got was from mirtazapine, when I was only taking this drug, but it also came with awful side effects. Enjoy being free from side effects!