If you have hope that they'll help (which it sounds like you do) then I'd encourage you to see if you can stay at a supportive friend's place or possibly a Peer Respite Center for a week or so.
Supportive friends and peers can help you stay focused on getting better until you decide whether the drugs are actually going to be effective or not.
Supportive friends are also likely to notice any side effects, and can help you decide whether such side effects are worth the intended and actual effects. Peers can do this to a degree, but since they don't already know you, they may not notice side effects nearly as much as friends.
Fwiw: I did the meds thing for decades. I probably tried about a couple dozen meds, some of them I tried again at different points in my life. I'm bipolar, and I've only sought meds that help with the depression aspect; I've simply done all I can to avoid meds that might trigger mania, as the singular manic episode that I ever had was triggered by post-surgical meds, and post-surgical meds have triggered hypomanic episodes with every subsequent surgery, except my very last surgery (when staff finally took my concerns about it seriously; fwiw: they gave me a nerve blocker instead of surgical pain meds).
I've only ever found two meds that actually helped with the depression. Both of them eventually stopped helping, and one of them, after being off and on it for decades, started to cause cognitive issues, which only got worse when the supposed MH "professionals" just increased the dose, ignored my concerns about the cognitive issues, added a new drug to the mix (at a really turbulent time in my life, so judging it's effects and side-effects was nigh impossible), which caused the cognitive issues to skyrocket, and ... well the supposed MH "professionals" just kept making the situation drastically worse at every step, until they drove me from try to get better and made me actively suicidal all while ensuring that I was deprived of the actual and exclusively unbiased medical care that I sought.
Which is to say, if you do find a med that helps, know that it may not continue to help and side effects may start to be a problem further down the line (like decades down the line). I wouldn't advise anyone to completely avoid meds because of this, but you should absolutely know that this can happen. (Alsso, since you've also been diagnosed with any MH issue, know that MH and medical "professionals" may use that very diagnosis as a weapon against you when you are seeking help for other problems, other problems that may be related to your MH, may be exclusively caused by the MH meds, but also which may be completely unrelated to your MH.)