DoNotLet2
Wizard
- Oct 14, 2019
- 684
Hey
tl;dr "psychologists" are supposed to be tolerant towards people with all kinds of disabilities but they aren't. Hopefully I didn't shock you too much.
I was planning to make a thread about my political views something like "what's the worst thing about left-winged people and their views" but my mental state isn't good enough to discuss with people so just a quick vent about something that has annoyed and depressed me. Okay it isn't as short as I planned it to be nevermind XD
So I'm autistic I have been diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome but autism sounds softer. And my verbal communication skills suck. What it means is don't try to talk to me. You want to really communicate with me? Write/Type to me. So I basically know two languages because I'm Polish - English and Polish. I can speak a bit Polish and I can't speak English at all. I write quite well (I'm 19 I'm not much educated yet) in both of them but voicing is hard for me. There are two reasons for that both are related to autism. So first one is basically from what I know (I'm not an expert) autism makes your verbal communication skills worse. The second is I have never had much interaction with other people around me. When I was a little child at school they would always interrupt me in the middle of a sentence so I have never learnt how to say anything longer.
It all depends on what I'm saying. If it's something easy and I don't have to think it through I can say it pretty well. So if you asked me "tell me something about the book you have recently read" I would reply quite well I would say a lot. Because it's recent and relatively simple I just have to think about one particular book without considering things around it. My reply would be accurate to what I think inside myself. Inside myself all my thought are fucking perfect. In my head I speak like a fucking actress. But if you asked me "describe to me the trauma that happened to me when you were ~11 years old" I would have a problem. Because it happened a few years ago and it was quite complex. I would probably say something along the lines of "emmm many bad things have happened like many things and it made me sad".
As you can probably guess the questions from the psychologists are the second kind that is harder for me to reply to. Normally I look like a very verbal girl but when some complex stuff comes in I'm done. Now you guys are going to think that I'm dumb. I felt like I needed to vent but not to you. I know your reactions and I wanted to vent to someone else. It's only because I wanted to try something new. Yeah it was very dumb. I'm making this thread so I will know never to make this mistake again. This situation happened twice because first time I didn't learn on my mistake.
I found a suicide help line. They allowed to write emails to them so I was fucking glad. I wrote a vent that was as long as this thread. But don't worry I used safe measures I wrote via tor and from an anonymous mail I made for that purpose only. I wrote them a few emails and the different psychologists would reply saying "you need to go and get help". But lately they would reply "call us because we don't want to talk via e-mails it's easier for us to talk on a phone". I explained to them that there is no point in me voicing because I would just say hello and that would be all.
THEY FUCKING SAID THAT THEY WOULD NO LONGER EMAIL ME BACK!!!! YOU HEAR ME?! THEY REFUSED TO HELP ME (yeah this help was quite bad but the ability to vent and have a reply was a relief for me) BECAUSE I CAN HARDLY SPEAK!!! THIS IS FUCKING ABLEISM!!
So yeah this got me fucking mad. You might think "oh you met boorish people on your way that happens". No it also has to do with my self esteem. I see people with autism in other countries get help they need. There was one Japanese guy whose name I don't remember. He can't speak at all. Did they say "oh you can't speak so you won't communicate"? No. They allowed him (and taught to) to write on a typewriter. And no one (at least from what I know) has a problem with it. So in which place of myself am I worse than him? In what way is he better than me if he deserves to get help he needs and I don't? What am I doing badly?
tl;dr "psychologists" are supposed to be tolerant towards people with all kinds of disabilities but they aren't. Hopefully I didn't shock you too much.
I was planning to make a thread about my political views something like "what's the worst thing about left-winged people and their views" but my mental state isn't good enough to discuss with people so just a quick vent about something that has annoyed and depressed me. Okay it isn't as short as I planned it to be nevermind XD
So I'm autistic I have been diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome but autism sounds softer. And my verbal communication skills suck. What it means is don't try to talk to me. You want to really communicate with me? Write/Type to me. So I basically know two languages because I'm Polish - English and Polish. I can speak a bit Polish and I can't speak English at all. I write quite well (I'm 19 I'm not much educated yet) in both of them but voicing is hard for me. There are two reasons for that both are related to autism. So first one is basically from what I know (I'm not an expert) autism makes your verbal communication skills worse. The second is I have never had much interaction with other people around me. When I was a little child at school they would always interrupt me in the middle of a sentence so I have never learnt how to say anything longer.
It all depends on what I'm saying. If it's something easy and I don't have to think it through I can say it pretty well. So if you asked me "tell me something about the book you have recently read" I would reply quite well I would say a lot. Because it's recent and relatively simple I just have to think about one particular book without considering things around it. My reply would be accurate to what I think inside myself. Inside myself all my thought are fucking perfect. In my head I speak like a fucking actress. But if you asked me "describe to me the trauma that happened to me when you were ~11 years old" I would have a problem. Because it happened a few years ago and it was quite complex. I would probably say something along the lines of "emmm many bad things have happened like many things and it made me sad".
As you can probably guess the questions from the psychologists are the second kind that is harder for me to reply to. Normally I look like a very verbal girl but when some complex stuff comes in I'm done. Now you guys are going to think that I'm dumb. I felt like I needed to vent but not to you. I know your reactions and I wanted to vent to someone else. It's only because I wanted to try something new. Yeah it was very dumb. I'm making this thread so I will know never to make this mistake again. This situation happened twice because first time I didn't learn on my mistake.
I found a suicide help line. They allowed to write emails to them so I was fucking glad. I wrote a vent that was as long as this thread. But don't worry I used safe measures I wrote via tor and from an anonymous mail I made for that purpose only. I wrote them a few emails and the different psychologists would reply saying "you need to go and get help". But lately they would reply "call us because we don't want to talk via e-mails it's easier for us to talk on a phone". I explained to them that there is no point in me voicing because I would just say hello and that would be all.
THEY FUCKING SAID THAT THEY WOULD NO LONGER EMAIL ME BACK!!!! YOU HEAR ME?! THEY REFUSED TO HELP ME (yeah this help was quite bad but the ability to vent and have a reply was a relief for me) BECAUSE I CAN HARDLY SPEAK!!! THIS IS FUCKING ABLEISM!!
So yeah this got me fucking mad. You might think "oh you met boorish people on your way that happens". No it also has to do with my self esteem. I see people with autism in other countries get help they need. There was one Japanese guy whose name I don't remember. He can't speak at all. Did they say "oh you can't speak so you won't communicate"? No. They allowed him (and taught to) to write on a typewriter. And no one (at least from what I know) has a problem with it. So in which place of myself am I worse than him? In what way is he better than me if he deserves to get help he needs and I don't? What am I doing badly?
