Venting another new years alone

[goldenrods]

its fine really - i feel guilty seeing people knowing i'm going to ctb in a week or so.
i just feel emory. and cold. and hurt. makes me want to ctb sooner.
empty * oops

 

[mediocre]

I've spent every New Years alone my whole life. I'm alone and in so much physical pain. I might as well ctb today.

 

[waterbottleman]

The 2010s....an entire decade of being alone

=(

 

[FullyUnplugged]

its fine really - i feel guilty seeing people knowing i'm going to ctb in a week or so.
i just feel emory. and cold. and hurt. makes me want to ctb sooner.
empty * oops

Nah your here with us on ss

 

[goldenrods]

I've spent every New Years alone my whole life. I'm alone and in so much physical pain. I might as well ctb today.

oh i feel. considered hanging myself again tonight... still can't do it. :( SN is the way to go, idc how sick it makes me

 

[mediocre]

oh i feel. considered hanging myself again tonight... still can't do it. :( SN is the way to go, idc how sick it makes me

I feel like the worst the pain gets the easier the thought of taking the SN becomes. But I am still afraid like you. I am already quite ill and don't want to throw up and fail.

 

[goldenrods]

I feel like the worst the pain gets the easier the thought of taking the SN becomes. But I am still afraid like you. I am already quite ill and don't want to throw up and fail.

i guess maybe i'm much more impulsive & messy with my methods. i'm going to be downing 3 glasses & if that doesn't kill me then fuck man at that point what will?

 

[HereToday]

I completely understand. This was the first new year I cried when the clock struck midnight, because I'm alone and didn't plan on being here to see 2020. Like you say at least it's best to keep some distance from people so they won't feel guilty when i ctb soon. But you're not alone, you have us

 

[Worthless_nobody]

I was alone this year as well. Physically alone but I had all the lovely people here to hangout with and I'm grateful for that. Fuck 2019 though...what a terrible year.

 

[mediocre]

i guess maybe i'm much more impulsive & messy with my methods. i'm going to be downing 3 glasses & if that doesn't kill me then fuck man at that point what will?

3 whole glasses? you just need about 50ml. I am worried that will be too much for you and you'll throw up.

 

[jgm63]

i guess maybe i'm much more impulsive & messy with my methods. i'm going to be downing 3 glasses & if that doesn't kill me then fuck man at that point what will?

I know it might sound "boring", but the best idea would be to follow Stan's guide. As @mediocre says, drinking too much may cause vomiting, and will probably be counterproductive.... Best to do a bit of planning, assuming you're certain that you want to CTB.

 

[chris8000]

I was alone this year as well. Physically alone but I had all the lovely people here to hangout with and I'm grateful for that. Fuck 2019 though...what a terrible year.

Yeah it was a terrible year 2019, I am trying not to think about 2020. Indeed, your not alone.

I've always thought deep down, new year is bullshit.

 

[snorli]

@chris8000 New Year is bullshit. It's just an arbitrary moment on the flawed calendar system we use around these parts.

 

[Xaphous]

I live with my parents and they dont even speak to me. No point even saying happy new year because I'd get a grunt in acknowledgement at best. I'm completely isolated and all I have are my parents who act like I dont even exist. Whenever my sister's visit they change and talk with them for hours. Its fucking aggravating but its always been the same. Gaslighting if I even try mention that. Im expected to stick around and take more countless years like this alone. Life is completely meaningless torture alone. I don't get to move on in any direction that's why I've lost the previous decade.