Venting Another interaction with services that resulted in more distress

[madbananas]

And now I'm being threatened with a welfare check if I don't speak to them again tomorrow because I was crying so much. I was also sent the Samaritans number so that their backs are covered if I ctb. Screw the Samaritans (they don't help me). I'm so angry that my rope was confiscated and I still need to buy more. This is actually hell.

 

[Astronomer]

Hear hear, all my love

 

[darksideofthebright]

I am so sorry to hear about that. Giving someone a threat when they are in distress is literally so messed up. I didn't have the greatest experiences with the Samaritans or the emergency services either so I totally feel you.

I really wish that you can find some peace somehow. Sending you virtual hugs.

 

[madbananas]

Hear hear, all my love

Thank you. It's awful, I mean it's bad enough being trapped in services that don't help, never mind them actually worsening things and then threatening a welfare check. I need the pressure off so I can ctb without as much fear

I am so sorry to hear about that. Giving someone a threat when they are in distress is literally so messed up. I didn't have the greatest experiences with the Samaritans or the emergency services either so I totally feel you.

I really wish that you can find some peace somehow. Sending you virtual hugs.

Thank you. The threat was literally over text as well. Sending hugs back

 

[Kruger]

My advice is to NEVER get involved with the system

 

[madbananas]

My advice is to NEVER get involved with the system

Sadly if I don't then my job views me as "not seeking help" and then can dismiss me, even though all the service has done is harm me (and others). I'm stuck in a position which the only sensible option is to kill myself, but I can't even do that because of several reasons.

 

[Kruger]

Sadly if I don't then my job views me as "not seeking help" and then can dismiss me, even though all the service has done is harm me (and others). I'm stuck in a position which the only sensible option is to kill myself, but I can't even do that because of several reasons.

How awful. Just play along then to get them off your back. I find the Samaritans useless, not their fault - all they are is a listening service when most of us need more than listening.

 

[darksideofthebright]

I'm stuck in a position which the only sensible option is to kill myself, but I can't even do that because of several reasons.

I think it might be best to play along too. Same thing happened to me and now that I have pretended to get better for a couple of weeks, they are finally leaving me alone with some space and time. I know it is annoying but it is the only way for you to have them off your back.

 

[madbananas]

How awful. Just play along then to get them off your back. I find the Samaritans useless, not their fault - all they are is a listening service when most of us need more than listening.

It's so hard when I'm so low because of a situation and I'm in despair every day. A situation that could easily be fixed with just a bit communication from a group of people who supposedly have a duty of care over me but chose to traumatise me to hell instead. But yeah, I'll need to try and find a way to stop feeling in as much distress so my mum stops watching me and the services can get off my back. I hate people who abuse their power.

I think it might be best to play along too. Same thing happened to me and now that I have pretended to get better for a couple of weeks, they are finally leaving me alone with some space and time. I know it is annoying but it is the only way for you to have them off your back.

Yeah, I guess. It is super hard with how distressed I feel though. And it's a hard balance to achieve because I need the distress to actually ctb. Otherwise I'm going to just be stuck in a horrid depression with no motivation if that makes sense.

 

[darksideofthebright]

It's so hard when I'm so low because of a situation and I'm in despair every day

I am not sure if it helps, but in my case, I told them I had trouble sleeping, and they would prescribe me some sleeping medications. If things felt too difficult to cope being awake, I would just take one and able to get through another day of being supervised, until they stopped.

 

[LastFlowers]

I am so sorry to hear about that. Giving someone a threat when they are in distress is literally so messed up. I didn't have the greatest experiences with the Samaritans or the emergency services either so I totally feel you.

I really wish that you can find some peace somehow. Sending you virtual hugs.

And yet threats seem to be one of their favorite go-to's when it comes to harmless people in distress. We live in the Twilight Zone.

 

[darksideofthebright]

And yet threats seem to be one of their favorite go-to's when it comes to harmless people in distress. We live in the Twilight Zone.

I know, and even some of my friends who found out about my situation have been calling the police for welfare checks almost everyday and I feel so pressured and uncomfortable. It can get seriously annoying and I just feel like I genuinely do not have control over anything in my life anymore.

 

[madbananas]

And yet threats seem to be one of their favorite go-to's when it comes to harmless people in distress. We live in the Twilight Zone.

Exactly. And literally all I get is "but we care about you". They don't even know me. And I get it's not individuals faults cause they are just doing their jobs but the reality is is they won't advocate for me they just tell me they'll help me through (aka telling me to get over) another unbearable situation. So basically they just want to keep my alive because it's their job while harming me in the process. I hate my life so much, I can't describe how angry I am.

 

[LostSoul101]

I'm not too keen on the Samaritans either. They parrot back to you what you said so you can feel heard but you are not actually heard. But they're volunteers anyway and not properly trained to deal with suicidal people, although they fancy themselves as if they are.
I'm sorry this happened to you :( you were trying to find someone to calm you down and they exacerbated your distress - how rubbish are they?!
I agree with everyone, best to play along to get them off your back. It happens often that hidden suicidal ideation is undetected by services but they will leave you alone the moment they see you're fine. You have to look suicidal to be taken seriously. It's bloody hard to put on a little show of positivity but you have to and it will only take an hour and the end result of them leaving you alone is worth it!

 

[TattiQueen]

I know, and even some of my friends who found out about my situation have been calling the police for welfare checks almost everyday and I feel so pressured and uncomfortable. It can get seriously annoying and I just feel like I genuinely do not have control over anything in my life anymore.

This is just the thing that enrages me. You're friends care, sure, why involved them system and police even further when they could just, I don't know .... stop by on their own? Seriously.... I've had this happen before and as a result was locked up because they believed a drug addict whore over myself. She had her own motives. Probably don't have to mention that was that for mine and her friendship. Fuckin wolf in sheep's clothing. Sorry I just get so damned angry!!
Best of luck to you my dear! I really hope you can work through this. I'm always happy to listen as I've dealt with it myself.

 

[darksideofthebright]

I've had this happen before and as a result was locked up because they believed a drug addict whore over myself. She had her own motives. Probably don't have to mention that was that for mine and her friendship. Fuckin wolf in sheep's clothing. Sorry I just get so damned angry!!

That is just appalling and I am so sorry that happened to you!

And same goes to you, lovely. If you need to just talk, I'm happy to listen too!

 

[LostSoul101]

We got you, Bananas! !

 

[TattiQueen]

And now I'm being threatened with a welfare check if I don't speak to them again tomorrow because I was crying so much. I was also sent the Samaritans number so that their backs are covered if I ctb. Screw the Samaritans (they don't help me). I'm so angry that my rope was confiscated and I still need to buy more. This is actually hell.

Im very sorry you're being put through such hell right now, especially coping through an increasingly difficult time. I'm assuming you aren't in the US? Sorry I'm just not quite sure about the role or significance of the Samaritans. I don't think every person who is brought to attention in this regard should be approached the same. The situation, emotions, time of life, etc will all differ in some way. Especially if there is a genuine concern, it should be handled delicately, not with threats over text of all things. I've been through similar, I'm always here to talk or listen Bananas! If there is anything I can do please don't hesitate.

 

[madbananas]

I'm not too keen on the Samaritans either. They parrot back to you what you said so you can feel heard but you are not actually heard. But they're volunteers anyway and not properly trained to deal with suicidal people, although they fancy themselves as if they are.
I'm sorry this happened to you :( you were trying to find someone to calm you down and they exacerbated your distress - how rubbish are they?!
I agree with everyone, best to play along to get them off your back. It happens often that hidden suicidal ideation is undetected by services but they will leave you alone the moment they see you're fine. You have to look suicidal to be taken seriously. It's bloody hard to put on a little show of positivity but you have to and it will only take an hour and the end result of them leaving you alone is worth it!

Thank you so true. Ironically they are only keeping us alive because it's their duty. The odd one really does care but that is rare. Went to sleep and woke up with an out of hours doctor at my house who just basically told me to engage with "help". Had his little box which I'm assuming was to medicate me against my will. Thankfully cause I'd already burnt myself out from distress and had a sleep, he'd missed my acute episode. I'm actually going to flip out though just thinking about how they keep telling me to "engage with help" when I do actually engage, they just can't accept the fact that the help is actually harm, not help at all. He also told me I have lots to live for despite me saying everything is meaningless no matter how it looks as an outsider. And that "people like me" have been helped in the past. I just need to engage. I'm so sick of how they lack such humanity in these situations as well. So obvious that it's just a job. And to think the money doctors make. My own doctors are pretty decent, but this out of hours one was a shock to my system.

Im very sorry you're being put through such hell right now, especially coping through an increasingly difficult time. I'm assuming you aren't in the US? Sorry I'm just not quite sure about the role or significance of the Samaritans. I don't think every person who is brought to attention in this regard should be approached the same. The situation, emotions, time of life, etc will all differ in some way. Especially if there is a genuine concern, it should be handled delicately, not with threats over text of all things. I've been through similar, I'm always here to talk or listen Bananas! If there is anything I can do please don't hesitate.

Thank you I'm sorry you've been through similar, it's awful and no one should have to go through it. That being said, it's comforting I'm not alone. I'm from the UK. Samaritans is a hotline number we have here which works for some people but not for others. After burning myself out from all the distress, I managed to sleep and woke up to a doctor at my door. Just basically invalidated me which made me more hopeless and told me indirectly that I wasn't engaging with Services enough.He must have been unaware that I'm waiting on a psychiatric nurse and psychologist. Not my fault that I'm still on the waiting list. I also have a psychiatrist who phones me once every 5-7 weeks and just tells me I need to be on antidepressants. I don't particularly want to take antidepressants if they are going to make me worse initially (they always have done with me) and then not even work in the long term (also the usual case). I hate the system. I'd probably feel better without a system at all because I'd be more free to ctb without as much worry. Now professionals lure me in all the time and I fall for it all the time also. Make me believe that they can help me and then tell me there's nothing they can do except section me if I can't keep myself safe. It's almost preying on vulnerable people because all I want is to be able to die peacefully, at the very least making peace with those around me. But because of the circumstances with mental health services, I basically would have to disappear in the middle of the night to do it. It's torture. I don't even believe I'm mentally ill to be honest. Yes I have significant effects from trauma. But even then, I can typically move on from those when I'm not being retraumatised and abused by people. So I believe my distress is a natural reaction to being trapped in a life that I don't want to live, because of what I've experienced. But no, being suicidal in the services means being gaslit to oblivion.

 

[LostSoul101]

@madbananas How you doing, Bananas?

 

[madbananas]

@madbananas How you doing, Bananas?

Feeling ok-ish actually. It's quite weird lol, so unfamiliar. Hope you're well as can be?