Venting Another Botched Attempt

[blackjack711]

Well, I've failed to find the peace I seek once more, first time I'm sharing the story of it here, however. I was attempting to hang myself full suspension style and well it turns out the hardpoint I'd found had not enough strength to support me after I jumped off the chair, it broke, and I landed in an awkward forced splits pose. The force of this tore two gashes in the crack of my ass and I'm pretty sure a bit of muscle or fat or something that I can feel when it's touched got pushed out of the top most wound as well, it hurts so bad I can hardly get out of my bed now, I'm hoping this heals well and does cause me to be in more chronic pain for the rest of my life. If you have any advice, I guess you can share it with me, but I just had to get this out of my system, this makes my fifth attempt and third method so far so I'm really frustrated.

 

[DrinkyCrow]

I'm sorry to hear that, hope it heals soon.

I would say one way to maybe prevent this would be to just test the stability of everything beforehand. by just hanging on it with your hands for a short while, after you set everything up, to see if it holds your weight.

 

[blackjack711]

I'm sorry to hear that, hope it heals soon.

I would say one way to maybe prevent this would be to just test the stability of everything beforehand. by just hanging on it with your hands for a short while, after you set everything up, to see if it holds your weight.

I hope it does too and your advice is appreciated, I tried to hang from it for a half second, but it seemed strong enough even though I didn't hang from it for too long, maybe it was my weight pulling on it all at once instead of gradually?

 

[DrinkyCrow]

maybe it was my weight pulling on it all at once instead of gradually?

I'm no scientist but that sounds very plausible.

 

[FuneralCry]

It's so cruel and painful to me how trying to die can go wrong, I personally really wish it's straightforward to just die and never suffer again. But anyway I wish you the best, I hope that you find peace eventually.

 

[blackjack711]

Minor Update: I've managed to mend my wounds, some creative mirror placement, some handy scalpel work, and a tube of superglue got everything back where it should be, fleshy bit back inside me and gashes closed. So hopefully it won't get infected

 

[nir]

Well, I've failed to find the peace I seek once more, first time I'm sharing the story of it here, however. I was attempting to hang myself full suspension style and well it turns out the hardpoint I'd found had not enough strength to support me after I jumped off the chair, it broke, and I landed in an awkward forced splits pose. The force of this tore two gashes in the crack of my ass and I'm pretty sure a bit of muscle or fat or something that I can feel when it's touched got pushed out of the top most wound as well, it hurts so bad I can hardly get out of my bed now, I'm hoping this heals well and does cause me to be in more chronic pain for the rest of my life. If you have any advice, I guess you can share it with me, but I just had to get this out of my system, this makes my fifth attempt and third method so far so I'm really frustrated.

This is genuinely terrifying and painful to read, I am so sorry you went through that.

 

[blackjack711]

This is genuinely terrifying and painful to read, I am so sorry you went through that.

It's... a bit better now, still hurts but I think it'll heal ok

 

[Asleepatlast]

I apologize but what is a handpoint? What were you using for hanging?

 

[nibbleone]

What were your other attempts?

 

[blackjack711]

I apologize but what is a handpoint? What were you using for hanging?

A hardpoint is simply a stable area used to suspend something, sorry for the technical terms. I work in more manual fields so they come naturally to me, I was using a climbing rope. It wasn't the rope that broke but what I had attached it to, that being a beam in the roof of my shed

What were your other attempts?

I've tried thrice to overdose on a couple things, once on ketamine and twice with hydrocodone. Ketamine I guess I didn't snort enough before I passed out, and hydro made me so nauseous that I puked it all up both times. Attempt before last was my most desperate one, I have a gun, a really nice Beretta M9 that I take care of really well. Well apparently, not well enough because when I went to paint the wall the hammer spring snapped or slipped off track, still haven't fixed it yet but it stopped working

 

[Asleepatlast]

A hardpoint is simply a stable area used to suspend something, sorry for the technical terms. I work in more manual fields so they come naturally to me, I was using a climbing rope. It wasn't the rope that broke but what I had attached it to, that being a beam in the roof of my shed

I've tried thrice to overdose on a couple things, once on ketamine and twice with hydrocodone. Ketamine I guess I didn't snort enough before I passed out, and hydro made me so nauseous that I puked it all up both times. Attempt before last was my most desperate one, I have a gun, a really nice Beretta M9 that I take care of really well. Well apparently, not well enough because when I went to paint the wall the hammer spring snapped or slipped off track, still haven't fixed it yet but it stopped working

Thank you for clarifying. That's my concern. Something won't be as stable as I thought and it will mess the whole thing up.

 

[ihateearth]

I'm so sorry! I hate that you failed. I bet you planned and tried your best however you could. You've tried multiple ways. I hope you find a way that works. Clearly you want to leave. It's not super easy. Hope you rest well and recover.

 

[blackjack711]

I'm so sorry! I hate that you failed. I bet you planned and tried your best however you could. You've tried multiple ways. I hope you find a way that works. Clearly you want to leave. It's not super easy. Hope you rest well and recover.

Well things are healing, but I think it's infected. Flesh is hot to the touch and it hurts to change the dressing

 

[Aliceinborderline]

see a doctor if able