sadgirl2002
Fallen Angel
- Apr 9, 2019
- 452
Today, I had to visit my uncle's boss' mother who is really old and fragile. She is 90 years old and when I saw her, I felt more depressed than I already am. I saw the beauty in her eyes, her skin was stretched and she was very boney. My uncle played "we'll meet again" by Vera Lynn and I saw the mother with tears in her eyes as she was thinking about her husband who had passed away whilst when no one was looking, I had tears in my eyes thinking about the one I'm in love with and I'm waiting for. I had to walk on the beach with my aunt and honestly, I didn't enjoy it. I've become so apathetic that I don't feel like eating or doing anything. I was forced to eat chocolate cake when I wasn't even hungry and didn't feel like eating, I didn't enjoy that either. If it was a few years ago, I genuinely would have. I spent the whole car journey there, thinking about my life in high school and how everyone that I cherished, left me. I spent my childhood and teen years thinking that my mother would change and be loving towards me but all I ended up was being abused and criticised. I thought that my father would stop drinking whilst I made him swear on my life everyday as a kid to stop but he ended up getting addicted and now he has health problems. I thought that friends throughout the years would've stayed but they hurt me and left. I thought my bestfriend/sister of 8 years would be with me forever but she ended up betraying me and ruining my life for some fucking boyfriend of hers. I thought that the boy I started to fall in love with wouldn't leave me and we would've kept talking but he left me the night after I had taken a sleeping pill, only to wake up the next morning to a goodbye message from him. My life consists of nothing but disappointments. I've always been let down and to think, all those people actually told me that they would always be with me and that they would never leave. I guess everyone just lies, right?
