Venting Another awful day is ahead of me after waking up again ...

[Praestat_Mori]

Obviously I wasn't lucky with a natural death while being asleep at night (Yes I 'm aware that this is more than unlikely to happen!!). I wish for it so much every time I go to sleep. Probably there's no other chance but going ahead with my CTB plans and mentally preparing for the last and final step regardless of any other losses. No hope left life will only become worse.

 

[deomlez]

The same. I always think to soul pray (Sanderman...). It s a bit loose to hope this. Or to hope a cancer or sthg like that.
Sthenght to you for this day to endure.

 

[leftdreaming]

Ah yes, the "aw shit I survived" the second you wake up. A certified SaSu classic.

I really hate to see you go through this, as I do with everyone, but for someone who brings so much kindness to the forum and seems to like so many of my posts it's really cruel that you have to endure this suffering.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Yeah- completely relate. I expect most of us go to sleep hoping we won't wake and that feeling when we do is just awful.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Ah yes, the "aw shit I survived" the second you wake up. A certified SaSu classic.

I really hate to see you go through this, as I do with everyone, but for someone who brings so much kindness to the forum and seems to like so many of my posts it's really cruel that you have to endure this suffering.

Thanks for your kind words! Yes unfortunately (or luckily??) somehow SaSu keeps me alive because I like to give sth back to the community that may help others with their problems while my personal life probs cannot be solved. I really dunno. Tbh, it makes me so sad to see so many young people having so many unsolvable problems, and most of them are caused by the society we all have to live in. I wish I could make a better life for everyone.

Yeah- completely relate. I expect most of us go to sleep hoping we won't wake and that feeling when we do is just awful.

Thanks for your kind words! Yes, true, I fully agree!!!

 

[Vizzy]

Obviously I wasn't lucky with a natural death while being asleep at night (Yes I 'm aware that this is more than unlikely to happen!!). I wish for it so much every time I go to sleep. Probably there's no other chance but going ahead with my CTB plans and mentally preparing for the last and final step regardless of any other losses. No hope left life will only become worse.

Hope you find peace

 

[lawlietsph]

I feel the same way. No matter how tired I am at night, I do everything to not fall asleep. I often find myself scrolling through my phone pointlessly because I don't want nights to end. When I wake up I feel horrible for not dying in my sleep.
I get it.
You just don't want to face another horrible day. What's the point when it's just getting worse and worse every damn minute?

 

[deomlez]

Sorry it makes me laugh, if there was a god, 2 big waves of vows, one for living, the other for dying... but he just do a mess with both, seems to be funny huh
From now I will always think to you all when waking up alive... on the same fuc*** boat

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Sorry it makes me laugh, if there was a god, 2 big waves of vows, one for living, the other for dying... but he just do a mess with both, seems to be funny huh
From now I will always think to you all when waking up alive... on the same fuc*** boat

If there was a god that would adhere my wish I would be dead already ..... LOL ^^ I doubt there is an almighty god that cares about such a stupid species like humans in the universe. If there's really a "god" who is so mighty to bring everything into existence like the universe with billions of chances to create "life" I doubt that he would give a shit on humans., Fact: the universe and humans can only exist because so many variables have an exxact value that allows existance at all. Whether this is a good or bad thing, we simply don't know.

 

[Livingvsdying25]

I can barly get a good nights sleep/sleep without waking up at night but I feel this...

When.the morning comes its like "sighs this again" it's such a sad feeling. Ik dying in my sleep is unlikely but to me that's the most peaceful kinda death. One where I don't need to be overally involved.

Hope ur day isn't too bad/there pockets of something you need sprinkled throughout

 

[FuneralCry]

I think that waking up truly is something so horrible, it certainly would be ideal to just leave this dreadful world in my sleep, but sadly such a thing would be far too good to be true. It does sound so peaceful just falling asleep eternally and then just being completely unaware of everything and being unable to suffer, it's true that the only relief lies in permanent non-existence.

 

[SolomonKado]

Obviously I wasn't lucky with a natural death while being asleep at night (Yes I 'm aware that this is more than unlikely to happen!!). I wish for it so much every time I go to sleep. Probably there's no other chance but going ahead with my CTB plans and mentally preparing for the last and final step regardless of any other losses. No hope left life will only become worse.

I also hope when it comes to my last and final thoughts that they are focused on what my life's been like and not what it can become. It will be a lie and I refuse to think of a future that won't come.