RealLostSoul
once rock bottom, always rock bottom
- Oct 11, 2019
- 211
Okay so this might be a weird topic to talk about but let me explain. Yesterday and today I thought about something. It's probably just a post-experience syndrome, something your brain makes up after memories were formed, similar to people experiencing an accident 'in slow motion' (which in fact isn't true, they just memorize them in slow motion), however, some say there is this sort of 'animal instinct', '6th sense' or feeling of something about to happen. You know, my mom told me about her friend that was in Thailand when the tsunami hit it in 2002 or whatever, however, without a reason she moved into the inner parts of the country one day before it happened. She told me that friend had some sort of guts instinct that she had to get the fuck out of there. Well, I always think that this was just coincidence, a lucky one... but when I think about it... I too remember the days when it all started. Before I wasn't in this fucked up situation of chronic depression etc. It started with a few emotional traumas. Anyways, reminiscing about this time I remember that I had a weird feeling in my stomach too before shit went down.
Just a thing my mind up right? Well, yesterday this feeling appeared again out of the blue. It wasn't there for long, why did it hit me up again? I mean, I was just at home doing nothing like almost everyday of my miserable life. It was never wrong so I'm really wondering. Nothing happened until now but I am curious, I believe that nothing will turn to a better in my life, in fact, just get worse and worse, so there might be some bullshit that will kick me down and making me even more depressed. I wouldn't be surprised though.
Or the isolation and the staying awake at night and sleep at daytime might just make me insane, who knows...
Just a thing my mind up right? Well, yesterday this feeling appeared again out of the blue. It wasn't there for long, why did it hit me up again? I mean, I was just at home doing nothing like almost everyday of my miserable life. It was never wrong so I'm really wondering. Nothing happened until now but I am curious, I believe that nothing will turn to a better in my life, in fact, just get worse and worse, so there might be some bullshit that will kick me down and making me even more depressed. I wouldn't be surprised though.
Or the isolation and the staying awake at night and sleep at daytime might just make me insane, who knows...