sunsh1n3
<3
- Jun 23, 2023
- 19
(Sorry for lengthy post lol)
I'm so exhausted with the world rewarding terrible people. Particularly with one person in my life. We'll call her Emily. Emily was my best friend for a good few years up until I finally broke down and cut ties with her due to her abuse. She constantly belittled, berated, and verbally/emotionally/physically abused me, all in the name of "humor". She made me feel like I was always the bad person in our friendship, when she had always caused the problem. I put up with her for years because nobody else would, even through her telling me that my SH made me "weak-willed and stupid" because I couldn't just stop SHing. Once I cut ties with her, another friend of mine decided that they wanted to reach out to her and become friends under the guise of helping/fixing her. Flash forward a couple years, Emily was now actively SHing and showing it to people, brought a razor to school and threatened another student with it only to receive no repercussions due to her psych sending a note with her to school that basically said she couldn't be held responsible because she's mentally ill, and she somehow constantly manages to manipulate people into loving her no matter what abuse she puts them through. Eventually, our mutual friend also cut ties due to the abuse and the rest of Emily's friends dropped her, too, which resulted in her attempt to CTB, after which she was sent to an institution for two weeks, and came back telling everybody in-detail about how she'd attempted and how it was all [mutual friend]'s fault. This attempt to turn the entire school against MF didn't work, as everyone knows how Emily is and knows that MF is a wonderful person. Eventually, once we graduated, Emily was accepted into an extremely prestigious school and gifted ABSURD amounts of scholarships.
I may be horrible for this, but I just wish she would hurt in the way she hurts others. She does whatever she wants and hurts whoever she wants with no karma or punishment whatsoever, because she's mentally ill. That being said, her only diagnoses are ADHD and anxiety. Both of which I am also diagnosed with, among others, and I certainly don't act like her. I CANNOT wrap my head around how somebody can be such a horrible human being and not experience any sort of karma for it. She's told people to CTB "as a joke", pretends that her racist/homophobic past never existed, and acts like she's an angel on Earth to get what she wants, and if that doesn't work, she manipulates people into giving her the result she's looking for. I hate her. I hate her more than far worse abusers in my past, solely because she has never had to face any sort of reality in her entire life. Forgive me if this is against TOS or seen as out-of-line, but everything she does because of her "mental illnesses" is to get attention from people she's trying to manipulate, and I've actively heard her admit this herself while laughing about it. She infuriates me, and I wish she would be treated exactly how she treats other people. She made me suicidal at a young age because she convinced me I was the worst person to ever exist. She uses the things she tormented me over as a way to get what she wants now. She changes her entire personality and belief system just to appeal to others.
I want to be the better person and forgive her, or at least feel some kind of empathy for her, but I don't. I can't. I wish she would be subjected to every hurtful thing she's said/done to others since birth. I wish she would get kicked out of her dream college. I wish she would lose every good thing she has. I don't understand why good people get the worst out of life while horrible people get the best. It's so backwards and unfair and infuriating. Disrespectfully, I hate you, Emily. I'm holding out hope that karma kicks your ass.
(Edits: spelling)
I'm so exhausted with the world rewarding terrible people. Particularly with one person in my life. We'll call her Emily. Emily was my best friend for a good few years up until I finally broke down and cut ties with her due to her abuse. She constantly belittled, berated, and verbally/emotionally/physically abused me, all in the name of "humor". She made me feel like I was always the bad person in our friendship, when she had always caused the problem. I put up with her for years because nobody else would, even through her telling me that my SH made me "weak-willed and stupid" because I couldn't just stop SHing. Once I cut ties with her, another friend of mine decided that they wanted to reach out to her and become friends under the guise of helping/fixing her. Flash forward a couple years, Emily was now actively SHing and showing it to people, brought a razor to school and threatened another student with it only to receive no repercussions due to her psych sending a note with her to school that basically said she couldn't be held responsible because she's mentally ill, and she somehow constantly manages to manipulate people into loving her no matter what abuse she puts them through. Eventually, our mutual friend also cut ties due to the abuse and the rest of Emily's friends dropped her, too, which resulted in her attempt to CTB, after which she was sent to an institution for two weeks, and came back telling everybody in-detail about how she'd attempted and how it was all [mutual friend]'s fault. This attempt to turn the entire school against MF didn't work, as everyone knows how Emily is and knows that MF is a wonderful person. Eventually, once we graduated, Emily was accepted into an extremely prestigious school and gifted ABSURD amounts of scholarships.
I may be horrible for this, but I just wish she would hurt in the way she hurts others. She does whatever she wants and hurts whoever she wants with no karma or punishment whatsoever, because she's mentally ill. That being said, her only diagnoses are ADHD and anxiety. Both of which I am also diagnosed with, among others, and I certainly don't act like her. I CANNOT wrap my head around how somebody can be such a horrible human being and not experience any sort of karma for it. She's told people to CTB "as a joke", pretends that her racist/homophobic past never existed, and acts like she's an angel on Earth to get what she wants, and if that doesn't work, she manipulates people into giving her the result she's looking for. I hate her. I hate her more than far worse abusers in my past, solely because she has never had to face any sort of reality in her entire life. Forgive me if this is against TOS or seen as out-of-line, but everything she does because of her "mental illnesses" is to get attention from people she's trying to manipulate, and I've actively heard her admit this herself while laughing about it. She infuriates me, and I wish she would be treated exactly how she treats other people. She made me suicidal at a young age because she convinced me I was the worst person to ever exist. She uses the things she tormented me over as a way to get what she wants now. She changes her entire personality and belief system just to appeal to others.
I want to be the better person and forgive her, or at least feel some kind of empathy for her, but I don't. I can't. I wish she would be subjected to every hurtful thing she's said/done to others since birth. I wish she would get kicked out of her dream college. I wish she would lose every good thing she has. I don't understand why good people get the worst out of life while horrible people get the best. It's so backwards and unfair and infuriating. Disrespectfully, I hate you, Emily. I'm holding out hope that karma kicks your ass.
(Edits: spelling)
