Leve
Member
- Sep 21, 2025
- 10
So angry all the time every day now. Don't know why. I think the stress is getting to me. Used to be that all my mental illness shit made me hate myself in a sad way. Now I don't care about anything and am just angry all the time. Think about killing myself a lot. Sometimes I have really bad thoughts about others… don't like them thoughts much. Started getting high every day… just kratom, weed, and 7oh though. I really want to and I would do more and harder stuff but I don't know how to find a dealer because I don't talk to anybody… so angry. Everyone is so loud and the world isn't built for me. Just wanna be left alone. I don't want to work I don't want to do anything society expects from me, I want to be an eccentric recluse who only socializes with the people I want to. I want to be dead. Might end up dying from a gunshot, or maybe in an alley somewhere. Seems like the way my life is heading. Killing myself is too much effort for me now, I don't care enough to put all the effort in, I've embraced the void of emptiness and all I have is anger that I can't stay there forever, that I can't just lay under my blanket, talk to one person, get high, and listen to music forever. Angry I have to exist in the world to survive in it… sometimes I get angry and want to tell strangers to fuck off or kill themselves. I don't like having these thoughts either, I think it's a reflection of how I feel about myself and how society treats people like me. I never say it though or ever hurt anyone though, I want the best for everyone and hate myself every time I even as much as annoy someone.
Who cares?
Who cares?
