Venting “Anger issues”

[conejo triste]

It hurts being told I have anger issues by the same people that have caused said issues. My family constantly berates me for such trivial things, and over the years it's caused this monster to grow within me. I used to be and still am relatively patient, however when I snap, it's as if this "thing" takes control over me. My mother told me today I "contribute nothing to the family" after not washing the dishes the day prior. I did them this evening however I guess my family was cooking? And just now I've just been yelled out for not doing the dishes. Such an idiotic and minor situation, yet I can't help but feel rage. My family can say whatever they want to me. They can lash out at me: feel anger. But if I show even a fraction of that, I need to "calm down". Unfortunately I just end up bottling everything up until I snap. Repeating the cycle.

 

[AntHills]

It sounds like you might be a victim of narcissistic abuse, which can push just about anybody to their breaking point. I would strongly suggest that you look into narcissistic behavior patterns and see if there are enough parallels to draw between what you're experiencing and what others have experienced. There are plenty of licensed professionals on YT that have hours worth of educational content on NPD.

If you don't become aware of the true nature of the situation and develop immunity to their scrutiny, they'll either grind you down to a pulp or turn you into a narcissist yourself, which could already be happening just based on your own description of the 'Monster' and how it influences your behavior.

If they are Narcs, they will likely never get help, but you can help yourself by educating yourself and getting therapy (which isn't an option for everybody, but in the case of NPD it is legitimately your only hope) before it destroys you.

 

[ultrasharpy123456]

victim of narcissistic abuse. sorry for you, try to get out while you can if you can

 

[conejo triste]

It sounds like you might be a victim of narcissistic abuse, which can push just about anybody to their breaking point. I would strongly suggest that you look into narcissistic behavior patterns and see if there are enough parallels to draw between what you're experiencing and what others have experienced. There are plenty of licensed professionals on YT that have hours worth of educational content on NPD.

If you don't become aware of the true nature of the situation and develop immunity to their scrutiny, they'll either grind you down to a pulp or turn you into a narcissist yourself, which could already be happening just based on your own description of the 'Monster' and how it influences your behavior.

If they are Narcs, they will likely never get help, but you can help yourself by educating yourself and getting therapy (which isn't an option for everybody, but in the case of NPD it is legitimately your only hope) before it destroys you.

Im not familiar with the specifics of narcissistic behavior but I'll definitely look into it. I appreciate the insight. Thank you so much.

 

[WonderingSoul]

I've experienced this. Nearly destroyed me (actually you could say it has since I'm planning to CTB). Moved to college when it nearly got worse. I'm still not completely away from them because I'm still on their insurance. It's hard to give advice since this is a very difficult situation, as even in therapy, if you are still with them, they can still ruin your mental state. My best advice is if you have the opportunity to run away, go for it and don't look back. If you can't, find a therapist who will listen to you. Wish you the best. I know how hard it can be.

 

[conejo triste]

I've experienced this. Nearly destroyed me (actually you could say it has since I'm planning to CTB). Moved to college when it nearly got worse. I'm still not completely away from them because I'm still on their insurance. It's hard to give advice since this is a very difficult situation, as even in therapy, if you are still with them, they can still ruin your mental state. My best advice is if you have the opportunity to run away, go for it and don't look back. If you can't, find a therapist who will listen to you. Wish you the best. I know how hard it can be.

Unfortunately I can't run away or move out (long term at least) at the moment. And I can't get a therapist because apparently they're "brainwashing" me but at the same im "manipulating" my therapist as my dad has claimed. I plan to CTB as well so for now I'm content.

 

[FuneralCry]

It really is so cruel how humans just create so much suffering, it must be so horrible having to have suffered like that. But anyway best wishes.

 

[conejo triste]

It really is so cruel how humans just create so much suffering, it must be so horrible having to have suffered like that. But anyway best wishes.

And unnecessary suffering at that. So many problems such as this one can just be avoided if people just communicated in healthier ways. I appreciate this message, thank you.