I'm full of anger right now.
I can't take it anymore. My parents have been abusing me since the day I came into this unfair world. I'm 24 now, suffering from social anxiety that makes doing the simplest tasks extremely difficult.
I hate my parents a lot, especially my father. He humiliated me so badly. He broke me. I don't even want to hear his voice or see his face. I don't even want to be in any place near to him.
And because of my severe social anxiety and lack of social skills, I can't continue studying. I also can't find a job.
Note that I live in Egypt. That means that getting a job on your own is extremely difficult especially if you're not well-educated. That also means that I can't be independent of my parents anytime soon, which means that I must endure living with my parents that humiliate almost every day.
I'm really angry. I'm fucking boiling out of all this hate and anger that have been planted into me.
"You're are a son of a whore. You're not a real man. You don't deserve the bread that you eat. You're a coward."
That are some of things that my father tells me on a regular basis.
And that's just one little thing.
If I went on mentioning all of the bad stuff that my parents had done to me I will write books.
I don't know what to do. I'm alone fighting a battle that I know I can't win.. I fight the world. and I feel like I can't fight anymore.
The tears are falling from my eyes right now, but I'm silent. I don't even have the luxury to scream or weeping out loud because then my parents will enter my room and ask: "why the fuck are you screaming?"
So I must always pretend to be happy, smiling even when I'm really upset.
I feel like I have been tortured since the day I was born. I don't know what to do anymore.
All I wanted was love. My dream was to hug someone I love and sleep on his lap while he's kindly putting his hand on my head.
I guess I will have to end my life knowing that this dream will never come true.
I can't take it anymore. My parents have been abusing me since the day I came into this unfair world. I'm 24 now, suffering from social anxiety that makes doing the simplest tasks extremely difficult.
I hate my parents a lot, especially my father. He humiliated me so badly. He broke me. I don't even want to hear his voice or see his face. I don't even want to be in any place near to him.
And because of my severe social anxiety and lack of social skills, I can't continue studying. I also can't find a job.
Note that I live in Egypt. That means that getting a job on your own is extremely difficult especially if you're not well-educated. That also means that I can't be independent of my parents anytime soon, which means that I must endure living with my parents that humiliate almost every day.
I'm really angry. I'm fucking boiling out of all this hate and anger that have been planted into me.
"You're are a son of a whore. You're not a real man. You don't deserve the bread that you eat. You're a coward."
That are some of things that my father tells me on a regular basis.
And that's just one little thing.
If I went on mentioning all of the bad stuff that my parents had done to me I will write books.
I don't know what to do. I'm alone fighting a battle that I know I can't win.. I fight the world. and I feel like I can't fight anymore.
The tears are falling from my eyes right now, but I'm silent. I don't even have the luxury to scream or weeping out loud because then my parents will enter my room and ask: "why the fuck are you screaming?"
So I must always pretend to be happy, smiling even when I'm really upset.
I feel like I have been tortured since the day I was born. I don't know what to do anymore.
All I wanted was love. My dream was to hug someone I love and sleep on his lap while he's kindly putting his hand on my head.
I guess I will have to end my life knowing that this dream will never come true.
