AngelTear
Dead before 30
- Oct 27, 2025
- 34
So...yeah... I've realized that pretty much everything I want to do before I die is impossible since it requires people, funds, and transportation...all of the things I don't have...
Such fucking bullshit
I'm looking for people to help out but everyone lives so far away or they're not on the same level as me (meaning they don't want just a deep platonic connection like I do, they don't try to keep up communication with me, also I can't tell normal people that I have a death date...) I can't even find people to fucking play games with regularly, it's just one time and then they're gone or we never have the same games (this extends to my real life friends too).
Something I do feel upset about is that when I used to have some money I would buy my friends games on steam for their birthdays and Christmas. Did they ever do that for me? Hell no they didn't. I don't even celebrate my own birthday or Christmas and I was doing that for them...I was a teenager back then but I regret it now since they never really cared about me. Why didn't they ever invite me out once? We knew the same people. It hurt so much seeing them have holidays with each other, starting a gaming group, starting a DnD campaign, etc, and you're just excluded and the best explanation they can come up with is "We didn't think you'd like this". Fuck, my family and friends just shaft me constantly.
I do feel stupid for continuing to look for people because it's the same ol story 99% of the time. It's annoying to have a great dislike of people and be misanthropic but still needing to rely on other people since I'm not able to be independent yet and those same people around just don't give a fuck about you.
Such fucking bullshit
I'm looking for people to help out but everyone lives so far away or they're not on the same level as me (meaning they don't want just a deep platonic connection like I do, they don't try to keep up communication with me, also I can't tell normal people that I have a death date...) I can't even find people to fucking play games with regularly, it's just one time and then they're gone or we never have the same games (this extends to my real life friends too).
Something I do feel upset about is that when I used to have some money I would buy my friends games on steam for their birthdays and Christmas. Did they ever do that for me? Hell no they didn't. I don't even celebrate my own birthday or Christmas and I was doing that for them...I was a teenager back then but I regret it now since they never really cared about me. Why didn't they ever invite me out once? We knew the same people. It hurt so much seeing them have holidays with each other, starting a gaming group, starting a DnD campaign, etc, and you're just excluded and the best explanation they can come up with is "We didn't think you'd like this". Fuck, my family and friends just shaft me constantly.
I do feel stupid for continuing to look for people because it's the same ol story 99% of the time. It's annoying to have a great dislike of people and be misanthropic but still needing to rely on other people since I'm not able to be independent yet and those same people around just don't give a fuck about you.
