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Chronicallyunwell
Member
- Aug 9, 2024
- 31
Dear Ss community ,
I am sharing my story in the hope of finding some support and help for ending my life. I would never have imagined I would be in this peculiar situation but I have grown very desparate. I know you will understand and not try to persuade me otherwise.
MY STORY (bonus: will probably make you feel better about your own predicament lol)
I am suffering from a chronic urinary tract infection that is antibiotic resistant, I believe this was contracted from hospital due to unrelated issues but this cannot be 100% proven.
I have been under specialist care and recieved several rounds of antibiotics to no avail. I have tried alternative healing, diets, several supplements and spent thousands in the process. I am in pain and feel generally unwell all of the time. I cannot concentrate due to the pain and struggling with work and my relationship (my partner is very patient and supportive but I have become a burden). I am no longer the funny, kind and caring person I used to be. I cannot enjoy any of my hobbies anymore due to feeling like there is a blowtorch in my bladder. Pain killers don't even touch it. I have pleaded with doctors to remove my bladder and urinary tract but the infection would travel to my kidneys. In other words, there is no earthly solution or 'way out'.
My situation is most unusual, much like illnesses such as long covid and chronic lyme disease. This adds to my feelings of entrapment and isolation. I belong to a support group which seems absolutely hopeless because nobody is getting better. Every second of the day I feel on the verge of a heart attack because of the severe stress I'm under, how unwell I feel and how I'm expected to carry on as normal.
In short, I have no quality of life, have a chronic painful illness and though I love my partner desperately, I am absolutely DESPERATE to end this.
I recently spoke to Dignitas and Pegasos and both essentially said there is no way they could help me. I don't want counselling to help me 'accept' this way of existence. I realise I'm left with the only option to end things myself.
Since I am not very technically minded and imagine any chemical attempts to end my life would be complicated and botched (I am actually quite a stupid and impractical person). My options living in the UK are only jumping from a great height or drowning myself. The locations I have in mind are quite far away from my home so I am essentially a bit trapped because my partner would alert police if I went missing for 5 hours. I am so scared of botching this that is has become paralysing. I wish I could access a gun but not possible in the UK.
I know nobody can truly 'advise' but UK folks, what are your ideas? If not, thank you so much for reading.
I am sharing my story in the hope of finding some support and help for ending my life. I would never have imagined I would be in this peculiar situation but I have grown very desparate. I know you will understand and not try to persuade me otherwise.
MY STORY (bonus: will probably make you feel better about your own predicament lol)
I am suffering from a chronic urinary tract infection that is antibiotic resistant, I believe this was contracted from hospital due to unrelated issues but this cannot be 100% proven.
I have been under specialist care and recieved several rounds of antibiotics to no avail. I have tried alternative healing, diets, several supplements and spent thousands in the process. I am in pain and feel generally unwell all of the time. I cannot concentrate due to the pain and struggling with work and my relationship (my partner is very patient and supportive but I have become a burden). I am no longer the funny, kind and caring person I used to be. I cannot enjoy any of my hobbies anymore due to feeling like there is a blowtorch in my bladder. Pain killers don't even touch it. I have pleaded with doctors to remove my bladder and urinary tract but the infection would travel to my kidneys. In other words, there is no earthly solution or 'way out'.
My situation is most unusual, much like illnesses such as long covid and chronic lyme disease. This adds to my feelings of entrapment and isolation. I belong to a support group which seems absolutely hopeless because nobody is getting better. Every second of the day I feel on the verge of a heart attack because of the severe stress I'm under, how unwell I feel and how I'm expected to carry on as normal.
In short, I have no quality of life, have a chronic painful illness and though I love my partner desperately, I am absolutely DESPERATE to end this.
I recently spoke to Dignitas and Pegasos and both essentially said there is no way they could help me. I don't want counselling to help me 'accept' this way of existence. I realise I'm left with the only option to end things myself.
Since I am not very technically minded and imagine any chemical attempts to end my life would be complicated and botched (I am actually quite a stupid and impractical person). My options living in the UK are only jumping from a great height or drowning myself. The locations I have in mind are quite far away from my home so I am essentially a bit trapped because my partner would alert police if I went missing for 5 hours. I am so scared of botching this that is has become paralysing. I wish I could access a gun but not possible in the UK.
I know nobody can truly 'advise' but UK folks, what are your ideas? If not, thank you so much for reading.