Story An open testimonial to the Sanctioned Suicide community, from a site lurker

[Despondency]

Some time ago, I was searching for a forum like Sanction Suicide. I was quite surprised to see that there was nothing in the initial search results. I thought such a community would have a large demand. It did not take long for the search results to populate articles about tactics to censor forums like yours. Many referenced these forums, but not by name. It was difficult to find any information. I was eventually able to find an article that listed your forum by name, which naturally helped me find you.

I will not go into detail about my depression or try to explain it. If someone has or has had depression, they understand. If not, they can't. The only background I need to give is that I live thousands of miles away from any friends or family. I am new to my area since just before COVID, so I have not been able to have any connections out here. The only person I could consider a friend out here is someone in my company's human resources department who I am comfortable with and have spoken to on days that are especially dark. She has been helpful in a path to recovery, but my most recent call scared her. She acted on her authority to contact law enforcement with an order to take me to a psychiatric hospital, a traumatic experience that I am sure many of you Sanctioned Suicide community members are aware of. Thankfully, I was able to say the right phrases to convince the doctors to remove the hold and allow me to return home after several hours.

It is far too dangerous to risk being locked in a mental hospital when my apartment is my sole place of comfort. Because of this, I can never be honest with anyone who has the authority to lock me up, including my HR contact. Since those events unfolded, I have tried to reach out to friends and family back home. All that has accomplished is hurting them. They cannot understand how I can be suicidal when I have people back home who love me. They twist the issue at hand, making me out to be evil for seeking Peace when there are so many people who care for me. It did not take long for me to give up on this coping method—these calls left me feeling worse, making Peace even more appealing.
This brings us back to today. Today, I had another horrible call, I realize why this place, Sanctioned Suicide, is so important. I spend most of my time here in the Recovery subforum. The Recovery subforum is a place of encouragement for me. There are so many here who are hurting, just like me. They prove their pain by being truly open about what they are feeling and what they want. This creates an environment where we can find the real solutions to depression and find a path other than Peace because it is only here where it is not taboo to discuss what works and what doesn't. This is not a complicated concept to grasp: If, for example, scientists were not allowed to discuss their findings with their peers, how could we expect them to solve problems and make discoveries?

I do not need to tell you that there are many who seek your forum's destruction. When they realize that Sanction Suicide's community is on the law's side, they turn to legislators to repeal laws that protect us and create movements to kill the community. These movements would be better served spending their resources on solving issues that breed a depressive environment rather than remove a valuable resource for those with nowhere left to go.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

The place exists for the same reason anything else exists: because there is an unfortunate demand for it.
Which is a better tactic? To remove the thing that is a response to the demand that causes it? Or to attempt to tackle the reasons why it has to exist in the first place?
On the flipside of that though is the question, which is the easier of those two tactics?

 

[Life_and_Death]

. I was eventually able to find an article that listed your forum by name, which naturally helped me find you.

im sorry but i stopped reading here. lol thank you for showing that the publicity they are giving us isnt helping them

 

[140 bpm]

A bit more than year ago I've found this forum just googling suicide methods. It was literally 3rd link on a first page. right after suicide prevention lifeline and Wikipedia link. lol. now I see that you have to type full name of web site if you want that link come up

 

[Pizarnik]

I just found about the forum a couple of months ago through an article online as well, and I agree with what you say, there are people out there who want to ban spaces like this, and that is so unfair.
Long before I became a member, I used to spent hours reading every post and thread of this Forum because it provided me some kind of relief knowing that I can be free here, and unafraid of being jugded.
It's a safe space for people like us and it's such a shame that people outside can't understand that.

 

[262653]

I remember how relieved I felt when I first found a community where Peace could be discussed without fear of persecution. How I relieved I felt when I saw a sensible thread about Peace on my native board for the first time, and it resonated so much with me... The thread was downvoted and the author was several times called crazy, but he made so much sense... And I've discovered that I'm not alone in my thoughts, and that there are others who feel ambivalent about their lives.

I had a short family situation. Some relatives came to visit us. My grandmother said: "Your mom said to leave some of the pie she made to the guests." I called my mother to make sure, and she told me that she didn't say any such thing. I had the ability to communicate with my mother, and that helped me to reveal that my granny decieves me.

It makes me wondering. Maybe it's easier to decieve people who are alone in their thoughts, who are bombarded with the promises of help from mental health industry advertisement program, blamed for thinking certain thoughts and wanting certain things, blamed for not getting better after recieving dubious treatment, and all that.

I had once a friend and we talked openly about stuff. When I felt bad and talked about a situation where I felt manipulated, he gave his perspective, and I gave my own perspective when he felt manipulated. We were supporting and in a sense protecting each other. I think that's something a community like this can provide.

 

[Cherry Crumpet]

I was around when SS was a sub on reddit. After it got banned, I searched for the name and poof.. here we are.