An odd approach to therapy

[wiredandtired]

Hello, I'm new to this forum, so I sincerely apologize if this should be posted in a different thread. I decided to join not because I have a strong urge to CTB (anymore? really I can't tell at this point. ill explain more) but because it is my greatest fear. I suffer from pretty severe thanatophobia and it has gotten to the point where I cannot function in my day-to-day life. I am of the belief that when you die, that's it. Like being under anesthesia or being in a deep sleep. That terrifies me, and I haven't been able to go to sleep lately. I've pulled a lot of all nighters. Funnily though, I realize that the only time I am not afraid is when I am asleep. It's like..I don't want to CTB, but I'm terrified every moment I'm conscious.
I figured that if anybody could help me cope with this fear, it would be people who, well..want to disappear. Does that make sense? I'm in between therapists right now and kind of desperate. I'm not a hundred percent sure of what questions I want to ask you guys yet either. But any advice would be appreciated.. I decided to post to the recovery section because I don't wish for advice on CTB, I have attempted in the past and I think that attempt might have kickstarted my fear. I don't want to do it again.

Thank you if you decided to read this far. I love you.

 

[Sulyya]

Had to search that word up. What happens in your daily life that it affects - like going down the street causes anxiety of accidents and things like that?

 

[wiredandtired]

Had to search that word up. What happens in your daily life that it affects - like going down the street causes anxiety of accidents and things like that?

It's been hard for me to take care of myself or leave the house. So in a way yeah there is definitely the fear of accidents or stuff like that. I don't eat much anymore or sleep either, at least not willingly for the sleeping part it always comes eventually. There is a big fear of being unconscious haha