Discussion An inquiry

[123die]

I'm really curious why it seems that a lot of people who were suicidal but who are no longer suicidal come on this site? Is it to try to help people who are struggling? No judgement, cause it seems pretty fuckin nice, I'm legit just wondering

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

I'm really curious why it seems that a lot of people who were suicidal but who are no longer suicidal come on this site? Is it to try to help people who are struggling? No judgement, cause it seems pretty fuckin nice, I'm legit just wondering

I didn't realize a lot of suicidal-no-more people are on this site. How'd you discover this? Talking to them? I've been suicidal since I was 9. That was the first time I said aloud, "I wish I were dead" and meant it. My parents died when I was still in school and I've never had close relations since then so I haven't stuck around for anyone else. I'm here totally out of fear and cowardice. I guess people could confuse the fact that I still work and "try" as my not being suicidal, especially since you have to fake it sooooo hard just to barely fit in (enough to keep your job...).

But I've read lots of blogs by ex-suicidal people (so they claim) who do exactly what you're suggesting--try to discourage other suicidal people from doing what we want. Guess there are so many types...

 

[Chlo]

Hmm yeah, haven't noticed any ex-suicidal people, either :\

 

[123die]

Hmm yeah, haven't noticed any ex-suicidal people, either :\

I mean not many people explicitly stating 'I'm no longer suicidal' but people who I'd be pretty damn surprised if they still were

 

[123die]

I didn't realize a lot of suicidal-no-more people are on this site. How'd you discover this? Talking to them? I've been suicidal since I was 9. That was the first time I said aloud, "I wish I were dead" and meant it. My parents died when I was still in school and I've never had close relations since then so I haven't stuck around for anyone else. I'm here totally out of fear and cowardice. I guess people could confuse the fact that I still work and "try" as my not being suicidal, especially since you have to fake it sooooo hard just to barely fit in (enough to keep your job...).

But I've read lots of blogs by ex-suicidal people (so they claim) who do exactly what you're suggesting--try to discourage other suicidal people from doing what we want. Guess there are so many types...

Yeah, just talking with people on threads

I first attempted when I was seven -shrug- My ''family'' if you could call it that, is shit. They make me want to ctb.

I mean, yeah, but just because you're 'trying' doesn't mean you actually are trying. A lot of suicidal people find it easier to exist in the world when they have a solid plan for their death. It could also be thought of as trying to appear like you aren't suicidal so that nobody suspects you're planning your death.

 

[Chlo]

I mean not many people explicitly stating 'I'm no longer suicidal' but people who I'd be pretty damn surprised if they still were

I feel like this would be a bit hard to be able to tell, but I sorta know what you mean. Still, this community doesn't seem pro-life at all to me really.

 

[123die]

I feel like this would be a bit hard to be able to tell, but I sorta know what you mean. Still, this community doesn't seem pro-life at all to me really.

Nono! I mean like. Agh. They aren't saying anything that pro-life people would say. But they aren't being like if you wanna die die. Theyre obviously pro-choice. But they'd rather see people live, but they're still respecting people's choice. Does this make sense?

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

Still, this community doesn't seem pro-life at all to me really.

Thankfully! This is one of the only places I've been where you're not made to feel like a violent criminal for even broaching the subject of suicide.

 

[SeekingSolace]

I don't have any active plans to ctb at the moment...I think it's a combination of personal weakness and a bit of hope that keeps me here. Regardless, I feel better spending time in this community where there are so many others struggling like I am. This site is both welcoming and accepting. That's why I stay here even though I don't have any concrete plans or time lines yet.

I'm still trying to face my demons and figure out how hopeless the remainder of this life is.

 

[Kyrok]

I think of suicidal drive like a doomsday clock. Sometimes your at 11 o'clock; sometimes your at 3 o'clock.

Someone who is "no longer suicidal" but visiting this site might be back to 3 o'clock, but they know that the hour could again advance.

In pain management, the doctor asks you every time: "on a scale of 0-10 where would you rate your pain today"
We should use a suicide clock: if midnight is having acted on a suicide method with a high probability of success and 1 o'clock is just lovin' life, where are you today? What hour is your suicide clock today?

 

[WhiteRabbit]

I'm pretty sure everyone here at least has suicidal ideation, but yeah, not everyone is right on the verge of doing it.

 

[123die]

I'm pretty sure everyone here at least has suicidal ideation, but yeah, not everyone is right on the verge of doing it.

Yeah, that's more what I meant. Like they're depressed and has been suicidal but not 24/7 so when they aren't thinking of dying, is what I'm talking about

 

[Worthless_nobody]

I think even if I wasnt wanting to ctb this is still the best place to come even if just depressed. Most sites like reddit and what not there really isnt much support even for general depression. People just give empty platitudes and act like I should just cheer up and get over everything. They act like there is always a "fix" or a way to "get better" Honestly this is the one place I have truly found no judgement for me feelings.

 

[Johnnythefox]

I'm pretty sure everyone here at least has suicidal ideation, but yeah, not everyone is right on the verge of doing it.

There is one user who openly admits to not being suicidal at all, but finds what suicidal people speak about interesting.

 

[123die]

There is one user who openly admits to not being suicidal at all, but finds what suicidal speak about interesting.

Aha!

 

[kkatt]

The thought never seems to go away. It just lingers in the back of the mind.
Having that good stuff to hand is what's kept me here.
It allows the notion that it's OK to wait and see if things might improve.

 

[CJM]

I stick around because you guys and gals are all good. Yeah I tried to die and failed and rather than continue with trying to die. I gave life another go and picked up the pieces. Ill never encourage anyone to die nor would I stop anyone from making that choice. I've always hated people who force their views or beliefs on others and having gone through a really dark patch in my life, you choosing what you want to do has been reinforced within me more than ever.

 

[Sickman75]

I dont know if i am or not. i dont have strong urges for me to off myself on a daily basis.
but i am fucked up in the head, and i go thru spells-weeks-months of thinking i want to kill myself
then it stops. I would rather see you all live, find hope, start a new life, career, find love.
i know that will never happen to most of you or me, i can only support what your thoughts are.
your going to ctb regardless or your not. I hope its the latter. i really do.

 

[Mark Edward]

I'm not currently suicidal, but all my life I have had episodes of crippling depression and very low self- esteem linked to physical and emotional abuse as a child.
I have never had any therapy or been able to speak about how I feel.
I don't want anyone to die, but I am pro-choice and believe that there are times when suicide is the only deliverance from unbearable suffering.
I not sure how I got here, but it's the only place where people can speak openly about a very taboo subject and the issues around it. I don't know anywhere else.

 

[WhiteRabbit]

There is one user who openly admits to not being suicidal at all, but finds what suicidal people speak about interesting.

Hmmm... i'm not really sure what I think about that tbh.

 

[Sickman75]

I'm not currently suicidal, but all my life I have had episodes of crippling depression and very low self- esteem linked to physical and emotional abuse as a child.
I have never had any therapy or been able to speak about how I feel.
I don't want anyone to die, but I am pro-choice and believe that there are times when suicide is the only deliverance from unbearable suffering.
I not sure how I got here, but it's the only place where people can speak openly about a very taboo subject and the issues around it. I don't know anywhere else.

me too @Mark Edward growing up was the same way.

 

[JustAboutDone]

I think of suicidal drive like a doomsday clock. Sometimes your at 11 o'clock; sometimes your at 3 o'clock.

Someone who is "no longer suicidal" but visiting this site might be back to 3 o'clock, but they know that the hour could again advance.

In pain management, the doctor asks you every time: "on a scale of 0-10 where would you rate your pain today"
We should use a suicide clock: if midnight is having acted on a suicide method with a high probability of success and 1 o'clock is just lovin' life, where are you today? What hour is your suicide clock today?

I like this analogy (if I've used that word correctly) I think that some people here are suffering from a variety of either or both of depression and physical health and when the time comes that the pain of living becomes unbearable - they will leave. Until that time they bravely plough on because they either feel they owe it to people to stay as long as they can bear or they have loose ends to tie up.

I think it's good people here are pro-choice. I think it would be really grisly if everyone said "great, die now, get on with it" as you can ctb any time - but you can't undie.

 

[brighter]

Some people are just really good at covering up their pain.

 

[GeorgeJL]

I'm really curious why it seems that a lot of people who were suicidal but who are no longer suicidal come on this site? Is it to try to help people who are struggling? No judgement, cause it seems pretty fuckin nice, I'm legit just wondering

Yeah I am kind of like that. I use to have a bad health condition, became suicidal got better now I come to suicide forums (mainly this one now) and give advice. I am pro-choice when it comes to suicide but I try to discourage young people or people with children under 18.

Ultimately I do it because I suffered a lot with my health condition and being on the edge of death losing my dignity, so I don't want others to suffer.

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

Some people are just really good at covering up their pain.

Agreed! And maybe some of them just haven't gotten to the point in their life journey where the pain is so great for their coping ability it spills out onto their faces, into their eyes even though they want to hide it...

 

[ShadowOfTheDay]

There is one user who openly admits to not being suicidal at all, but finds what suicidal people speak about interesting.

Yes! We are such a fascinating lot, aren't we? Truly fun to be around. "Allow me to introduce to you my friend __. He/she no longer wishes to be alive!

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

There is one user who openly admits to not being suicidal at all, but finds what suicidal people speak about interesting.

Where the hell are these people when I'm lonely??