
catalepsy
Student
- Sep 4, 2020
- 117
My worst fear is that I'll die alone, never have a family or find anyone or anything that's worth fighting for in my life. Am I wrong to feel this way? I don't have an overly negative view of human nature, but I feel like I'm alone in the midst of throngs of people who are already preoccupied with other people, and there is nowhere for me to fit into this sad, beautiful tapestry of human life. And as a solitary soul, I have no-one to turn to, nowhere to hang my hat, so to speak.I have several good friends, but the female variety in my life already have others they're occupied with. It doesn't matter how healthy or unhealthy their relationships are, I have merely a peripheral role in their lives - or, if more than peripheral, no hope to expand past where I am, and any advances on my part would be inappropriate. Story is stagnant at this point. But every day that passes, it feels like I'm moving further away from any hope for the things that are missing from my life, and their absence is dragging the rest of my life into an abyss. I miss being in love, not knowing what the future may hold, but feeling like it will be an adventure to find out. I'm not sure how to get that back. Maybe I'm naiive. I don't think I am. Maybe I'm just depressed. I don't think that's it, either. I just don't know how to meet new people - how does that happen? How did I even meet the people in my life now? It's a mystery to me.
Last edited: