Am I wrong for this? Started to hate ex gf because she was ugly

[dödsängel]

Like the title said. I don't think loneliness was ever the reason for my problems. But that being said, I barely have any close relationships, especially with girls. Considering humans are social creatures, and a lot of people believe that individuals need intimacy to be truly fulfilled, I decided to try it out.

I started talking to a girl with the intentions to date her. If I'm being honest she wasn't very attractive but we got along well and she was pretty nice. She seemed to like me a lot.
But honestly, she was just too unattractive. And the more I talked to her the more I started to dislike her. I just found tiny things about her annoying, the way she talked, stories she gave, and more than anything looking at her face made me mad tbh. I guess it's because I was forcing myself to be with her.
I broke up with her because I just started to dislike her.
Was I wrong for that? I see a lot of people complaining about others being shallow and all that. And maybe I am. But I just couldn't deal with her tbh.

 

[sammiechzxv]

Yes... Yes you are

 

[dödsängel]

Yes... Yes you are

what should I have done differently?

 

[sammiechzxv]

what should I have done differently?

Not have dated someone you didn't genuinely like. Especially if you knew they really liked you.

 

[duwangJEff]

Well, it's obviously not very nice, but if something about someone grosses you out, you can't really force yourself to like the person. In which case, it's better to end things so they dont drag on and waste people's time. That said, and like some others have said, if you didn't like her much in the first place, you probably should not have dated her

I do get it though. For me personally, I am very lonely and talk to no girls, so I probably would put up with someone I didn't like just to fill the void, and likely leave them when I find someone I do like. Very selfish, but I have needs, and sometimes I have to use people to meet them. Though I rarely ever have anyone in my life to "use"

 

[Enlighten]

Like the title said. I don't think loneliness was ever the reason for my problems. But that being said, I barely have any close relationships, especially with girls. Considering humans are social creatures, and a lot of people believe that individuals need intimacy to be truly fulfilled, I decided to try it out.

I started talking to a girl with the intentions to date her. If I'm being honest she wasn't very attractive but we got along well and she was pretty nice. She seemed to like me a lot.
But honestly, she was just too unattractive. And the more I talked to her the more I started to dislike her. I just found tiny things about her annoying, the way she talked, stories she gave, and more than anything looking at her face made me mad tbh. I guess it's because I was forcing myself to be with her.
I broke up with her because I just started to dislike her.
Was I wrong for that? I see a lot of people complaining about others being shallow and all that. And maybe I am. But I just couldn't deal with her tbh.

It's human nature to be attracted to beauty. Sometimes men date lesser attractive girls to ease their loneliness, but deep down every man desires an attractive partner.
At least you didn't let it drag on.

 

[Jealous Blackheart]

Not to be rude or diminish your situation and internal conflict, but this is the funniest thing I've read all day.

You can't change the way you feel. You realized it wasn't for you and you called it off. People may not like the way you feel but your actions were commendable. When it began you didn't know and you tried in earnest it seems but couldn't bring yourself to contentment. You did the least amount of harm possible given the circumstances.

 

[Rocinante]

NTA

 

[DysmorphTic]

You're not an asshole, you are going to feel what you feel. Do not deny your feelings.

Once I had a girlfriend that did weird shit to her hair, like dye it blue. Once she shaved her head, and then I realized that she looked like a boy, i mean exactly like a male. I had to break up with her, because even if her hair grew back, I wouldn't be able to unsee her male-like features - the damage had been done.

I didn't tell her why I broke up with her, I didn't want to hurt her feelings anymore than I had to, but man that girl had hella-tight *****.

 

[Forever Sleep]

You can't help how you feel but you can decide how you behave. I don't think it makes you a bad person because you found her unattractive, or found certain traits annoying. We all have our own preferences. What is more questionable is why you dated her in the first place. Granted- you wouldn't find out about annoying traits till you knew someone better but- if you know looks are important to you- don't date someone you find ugly! It's that part that makes the situation unfair on her. Especially if you sensed she cared for you. That's just my feeling though. Maybe other people view relationships differently but- because people's feelings are involved, I don't think it's great to experiement or 'settle'- just to avoid feeling lonely.

 

[リンさん]

I was in a similar situation a long time ago and it was an extremely valuable lesson to learn.

No amount of loneliness and desire to be loved will ever outweigh just genuinely disliking someone you're with. They will be irritating, annoying, and it creates ground for abuse, which is never okay.

This person deserves to be loved, and you deserve to be with someone who you actually like. Relationships only work if it's all mutual.

 

[sserafim]

Lmfao You're so weird lol