Discussion Am I too young to CTB?

[allovernow]

Of course, many people younger than me have attempted or completed suicide. But sometimes I wonder if I should wait a few more years to see if things do get better.

I'm 19 years old, and my personal view is I know roughly what my life will look like from now on. I cannot derive any pleasure from this life.

Anyone else in this age range have different viewpoints? Should I wait a bit longer?

Thanks

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

I hope people in your age range speak up!

Some of us older ones may read the OP and want to share our perspectives, but I hear you that you're wanting to hear from folks your own age and am glad to respect that.

 

[SnakeTeam93]

Hey I am 26 now but my suicidal thoughts started after I accidentally drowned when I was 15y and was gone some minutes and then they brought me back but it was really hard and since then I have had the longing for peace with I had when I drowned and I tried to suicide 4 times but because I have dysfunctions people just always thought I'm stupid and it's nothing to worry about. Which is good keeps me in loop

 

[Alec]

I'm 23, I don't think about my age as a deciding factor really. I think if I was older than I would think "well I'm way too old to start chasing my dreams anyway" but at my age I guess I'm not too old to start chasing my dreams. But there's so much other shit. The shit can be deciding too and it can mean at least for me personally that because of that shit I won't actually achieve any of my dreams and the life I want and I'll just be getting older and older in this suffering and misery until I will be too old to even start trying to change things or hope for something better. I'm just trying to be logical and be real with myself, if I know something has almost no chance at all and is impossible from my situation than(again at least in my situation) it's gonna be impossible even though I'm young right now, and later the only thing that will change is that I will be old so...you see what I'm trying to say? I hope you do I feel like maybe I'm not expressing myself well. Sorry. My first attempt was at 17, I didn't feel young.

 

[Alyatl]

I'm 20 and my first attempt was when I was 16. I don't know if age is a factor, I think it's more about experiences. Pain and trauma age you fast, mental illness forces you to grow up. I had to pull myself together from such a young age to the point that I don't feel like I had a childhood. This year has been absolute hell for me, multiple attempts and shit, but I'm just trying to tell myself that life is far too unpredictable for me. In the same way I couldn't predict the pain I experienced this year, I can't quite anticipate what's to come, and it's a horrible wager between good things and possibly even worse things. But I do understand the idea that you have a rough image of what your life will look like, and that image looks bleak, and when you're in the thick of it it's hard to imagine that any good or pleasure can be derived from what you see/anticipate.

Not the most satisfying answer, but I hope you can kind of see where I'm getting at. Wishing you well <3

 

[StuckAF]

Of course, many people younger than me have attempted or completed suicide. But sometimes I wonder if I should wait a few more years to see if things do get better.

I'm 19 years old, and my personal view is I know roughly what my life will look like from now on. I cannot derive any pleasure from this life.

Anyone else in this age range have different viewpoints? Should I wait a bit longer?

Thanks

I am 18 and I want out

 

[suicideintended]

I'm 32. I attempted ctb when I was 15 and again and at 17. I didn't succeed and was in residential treatment facilities and intensive therapy afterwards... always thought things would "get better when I got older" and that maybe that's why I survived.. so I stopped attempting. And that's what people tell you anyway. To hang on, it gets better.

In my PERSONAL experience. It did not. My PTSD only worsened and so did my anxiety and depression therefore causing a lot of failed relationships and a hardcore drug addiction in my 20s. I definitely wish now that I had completed ctb back then before there were children involved to be hurt. Best wishes from me to you and pure peace with whatever you choose, love ❤

 

[mathieu]

I don't see any right or wrong about it. I wish I'd succeeded when I was 15. I would have saved so much pain.

 

[adios]

Of course, many people younger than me have attempted or completed suicide. But sometimes I wonder if I should wait a few more years to see if things do get better.

I'm 19 years old, and my personal view is I know roughly what my life will look like from now on. I cannot derive any pleasure from this life.

Anyone else in this age range have different viewpoints? Should I wait a bit longer?

Thanks

I just turned 18 a few months ago, I'm graduating high school this month. Obviously I don't know your life or anything but the world seems to be too cutthroat for me... my mental illness screwed my grades up and I have no future plan. I'm completely useless to society.
I highly doubt you're useless and I'm sure you do have quite a bit to bring to the world, however if you can't see a happy future for yourself I obviously wouldn't say you're too young either. It really depends... I wish you the best no matter what :)

 

[catmom13]

When I was your age, I lived in a 4th floor walkup apartment with a tiny balcony, maybe 2 ft x4 ft. I was in college and I was undiagnosed. I would go out to that balcony for a smoke, look down, and wonder if it was high enough for me to die or if the electric wires would be enough to electrocute me before I end up on the pavement. Some days my friend would keep me company and "watch" me to make sure I didn't go through with it.

In the 10 years that have passed since then, I have reached milestones in life--graduated college, moved to a different country, etc. I still have the same thoughts, just in a different environment. I'm still not happy, even with the increase in my quality of life. I'm still convinced that I will CTB by my own hand someday, it's just a question of when.

I think that CTB is an informed choice that you should make if you feel that it's the only way out. If you see a glimmer or hope or anything else and you think it's worth pursuing, go for it. It may get better, it may not. But you can't explore these if you're dead.

I don't regret the choices I made that led to this moment. Even though I feel like shit, I am glad I'm still exploring the little things that give me a bit of hope for my day-to-day life.

 

[RestingGirl23]

Hi, I am 23. Never attempted. Obviously, don't know your exact situation, but I will tell you an experience I had around your age. Just graduated from high school and applied to college in another city. Main reason being I didn't have many friends anyways and I wanted a change of scenery. Made a huge deal out of it since my dad did not want me to move. I stayed there for 1 semester and decided to move back. Forgot to mention I had anorexia and I was quickly getting exhausted from everything. Eating healthy, being the perfect student, and having to get myself around the city since I did not have a car. (lived in campus but still went out to buy groceries and such). I also failed most of my classes since they were a lot harder than I expected. I graduated top 10 in my high school so that shows you how shitty my education was. Point being, I felt defeated and I didn't not want to move on. I felt ashamed that I wasn't as smart or successful as other kids in my class. But I just focused on myself and moved on. Still struggling a bit to this day, but I'm doing what I can. Sometimes, I just let my sadness consume me and I move on afterwards. Just depends on your social network. Do you have people you can talk to in real life? I find that just talking about problems you are having in a regular conversation helps keep your sanity for a while at least.

 

[Despondent]

I'm in the same age range -- I'm eighteen.

The outlook for the future is undetermined but part of me is interested in seeing what that looks like. The other part of me is not. I think this is largely why I'm waiting it out although it's mainly uncertainty all together.

No matter how old you are, you're always going to be a younger version of yourself than in a few years time. I guess many people belief one would be "too young" is because of the experiences someone would face at an early and later age.

 

[Bct]

26 here. It has been up and down for me. I don't think you're too young if you want to CTB.

If you want to keep going with life, there is a possibility your position could be same or even worse, even after you're trying your best. That's the hardest part to accept. Of course I don't mean to wishing you any bad since I genuinely want you to be better. Wish you luck in whatever you choose.

 

[MephistoJustBeneath]

I'm almost 23 and as far as I'm concerned, there's no such thing as too young to CTB. Life only gets significantly worse with age. Frankly, if I died at around your age, I could still say that I had a pretty good life. The more I delay, the more whatever legacy I have goes to shit.

 

[Aliali1992]

I am in no place to judge as i am not living your life and not going through what you have to go through every day...but generally yes i believe it is too young...your brain has not finished growing...it will not until 24-25 years old so i would wait...after that yes changing yourself becomes harder and harder.

 

[taylor321]

I can't really say, I've been suicidal sense 11 and I constantly regret not doing it. I guess I had always hoped something good would happen and maybe change my life around but it never did

 

[Fedrea]

Of course, many people younger than me have attempted or completed suicide. But sometimes I wonder if I should wait a few more years to see if things do get better.

I'm 19 years old, and my personal view is I know roughly what my life will look like from now on. I cannot derive any pleasure from this life.

Anyone else in this age range have different viewpoints? Should I wait a bit longer?

Thanks

I think so yes, cos I had a friend who was suicidal aged 19 and when he got older he started doing really well

 

[Evermore]

I don't think it's too young . I'm 25 but have had suicidal thoughts since I was 15 , the urge to do it has just got stronger over the years . There's no rush to ctb though , if you're considering waiting to see if things get better then maybe now isn't your time but at the end of the day the choice is completely yours.