Am I the problem, or is everyone else just awful?

[TechyMiserable]

I really really do not like people. Everywhere I go, everyone is a terrible person. At this rate I'm starting to believe I'm the problem, but I don't get it. People are so awful before I can even have a second to think. I hardly have any friends, and the only people I can even feel an actual connection with are friends online, but that can get rather lonely after a while. I just don't get how all of these people manage to live by being such pieces of shit, it's no wonder they can all get along, they feed off of eachother's toxicity. I make so many efforts to be kind and polite, I treat my peers and coworkers nicely, for no reciprocation, and if anything I'm often mocked or belittled. I don't think I'm attractive, but I wouldn't consider myself completely ugly either, not to a repulsing extent, but I don't understand why else people will snicker or visibly judge me with just a first glance.

It doesn't help that one of the only friends I have irl, one that I've known since middle school, somehow manages to be almost TOO extroverted. If I'm ever out with him, it's like he knows everyone in the damn city, and it's so awkward having to just stand there timidly while he greets person after person, and 90% of the time I can tell how much they're judging me. He treats me relatively well, and yet he hangs out with what seem like the shittiest and snobbiest people. Maybe I'm just being a dick, it's possible I'm already judging them from just a first glance the same way they are with me, but it's hard not to feel anxious or insecure when my friend introduces me to them and they all stare at eachother with that same damn judgemental smirk. Some of them even going as far as to snickering and asking him why he's hanging out with someone like "me". I guess I appreciate him alot, he has what seems like hundreds of friends, but he still bothers to hang out with me despite my insecurity and timidity. I honestly don't get what he sees in me when he can be friends with people who are basically polar opposites to me in character, but I guess I'm grateful for it. We have occasional fights and disagreements, and he can easily frustrate me for being oblivious or ignorant to the way he poorly introduces me to people, sometimes it almost feeling like he's just playing a cruel joke on me to humiliate me. He knows I'm very shy, so it's frustrating when he drags me with him and forcefully introduces me to what are total strangers to me. Half of the time he'll introduce me as someone that I'm completely not, almost playfully hyping me up as if I'm this tough, badass dude that doesn't take shit from anyone, when I'm visibly just some timid guy. I can't imagine he doesn't realize how uncomfortable it is for me to stand there shaking while his friends laugh at me. He's played alot of cruel jokes on me, basically ignoring my sensitive stories of trauma and even messing with me by using those specific fears of mine. I don't want to go on a tangent about himthough, he's all I have, and I'm grateful he hasn't kicked me to the curb yet. I wouldn't blame him, he's got hundreds of other people to hang with, I don't think I'll ever know what he sees in me.

I digress though, I'm losing the point. It's just really frustrating, I try really hard to take care of myself and to make myself look as presentable as possible. I've whitened my teeth, I've taken care of my skin, I've taken care of my hair, I've been working out, I have plenty products related to hygiene in general, and I just try to be a generally outgoing and kind person. I don't see what I'm missing. All these people I see that get along all act like the most insufferable and unpleasant people you could be around, and that just makes me feel hopeless. I guess I'd rather die alone than to have to live as such a piece of shit just to get along with other pieces of shit. I'm sure this sounds pathetically cynical, and it probably just sounds like I'm completely rejecting the idea of putting myself out there, but God knows I've tried. It sucks seeing people be so judgy and bitchy to eachother literally everywhere I go. I don't know why it makes me sad on the behalf of somebody else when I can hear them getting shittalked without them even realizing it, it just adds to my frustration and hatred towards people. I'm sure there's some good people out there, but I sure as hell must be unlucky cause I haven't gotten even close to having a legitimate peaceful and meaningful connection with anyone irl. I don't know what I'm doing wrong anymore, is this just the society I'm forced to live in? It's lonely as shit.

 

[bipolar22]

Well you been stating that everyone is an awul person except for you.
And yes there alot of greedy people out there who put themselves first. But theres alot of people who are invaluable, bringing joy and kindness into others peopels life.
Furthermore you talked about how you do youre bodily routine of makeup and co, frankly if you're trying to find a genuine freind which one you wa a build a deep connection to thats not what you should focus on. This will only attract shallow people.
You're attitude of trying to find people by using makeup and all that whoch you view as insufferable idk.
idk the rest was a bit hard to read.
In my opinion it reads quite entitled and your2 settting unrealistic standards for how you want a freind or person to be.
As a reference I hate humanity in general. But not every single person. I have severe bpd and been in a long term relationship and my girl is a flower on a bomb cite i found.
Takes too to tango. Maybe alot of peope aren't as horrible as you believe. Or maybe your high standards and entitlement make you feel that way idk. You should go on a journey maybe with therapeutic help or alone however you prefere ans analyze and watch yourself what causes these feelings in you. Just a thought

 

[rainatthebusstop]

Misanthropy is a natural result of seeing people interact with each other.
So yeah, you are the problem. You try to be nice in a society that has conditioned people to be assholes to each other

 

[Dejected 55]

Both can be true. I've met a lot of horrible people. I also know I do not always handle situations in the best way. So, even when I am not the cause of a bad situation, I can freak out and make it worse than it had to be.

 

[Kassender]

Well you been stating that everyone is an awul person except for you.
And yes there alot of greedy people out there who put themselves first. But theres alot of people who are invaluable, bringing joy and kindness into others peopels life.
Furthermore you talked about how you do youre bodily routine of makeup and co, frankly if you're trying to find a genuine freind which one you wa a build a deep connection to thats not what you should focus on. This will only attract shallow people.
You're attitude of trying to find people by using makeup and all that whoch you view as insufferable idk.
idk the rest was a bit hard to read.
In my opinion it reads quite entitled and your2 settting unrealistic standards for how you want a freind or person to be.
As a reference I hate humanity in general. But not every single person. I have severe bpd and been in a long term relationship and my girl is a flower on a bomb cite i found.
Takes too to tango. Maybe alot of peope aren't as horrible as you believe. Or maybe your high standards and entitlement make you feel that way idk. You should go on a journey maybe with therapeutic help or alone however you prefere ans analyze and watch yourself what causes these feelings in you. Just a thought

Nowhere do they say they´re the only good person.
If OP is entitled to anything, it would at least be you reading their message before answering some self satisfied bullshit like that

just a thought :)

 

[princexhhn]

Kinda unrelated but that's the fastest I've seen someone leave this site

 

[bipolar22]

Nowhere do they say they´re the only good person.
If OP is entitled to anything, it would at least be you reading their message before answering some self satisfied bullshit like that

just a thought :)

Nowhere do they say they´re the only good person.
If OP is entitled to anything, it would at least be you reading their message before answering some self satisfied bullshit like that

just a thought :)

Yes I dint manage to read the whole thing it was brutal to read. From wat I gathered : likely covert narcissistic post.. Just a guess. I dont self satisfy i just watch and analyze for my psychology studies. Getting kinda good at it .
You're pretty defensive

 

[RoseGirl]

Everyone is awful but getting mad about it just makes u sad and lonely.
I used to try my best to be nice but no it's like, just not worth the effort. For most people they're blissfully ignorant of the way their actions harm people. For me i found that being tar gets me what i want so even tho i'm torturing the people i love I'm still happy because i get what i want.

Also people probably think ur more badass then u think. Being a timid emo makes u give off cool edgy vibes.