Am I the only one who is genuinely a piece of shit?

[MiMif]

I'm just curious. My mom had told me my problem was I was self absorbed and selfish and most depressed people are. Of course when she told me those words I was offended but as years pass I'm starting to realize she was right and I'm just wondering if anyone else is a piece of shit.

Yes shitty things have happened to me but they happen to other people and their not shitty.

Whenever anyone talks to me I instantly get annoyed

 

[EternalHunger]

I feel like humans in general are self-centric in emotional turmoil as we prioritise ourselves above all else subconsciously and it's hard to see things from other perspectives when you yourself are struggling, especially in the heat of the moment; I would generally say I'm not a good person really but I would also apply that to most others in varying degrees.

Understand that people process emotions very differently especially with something like suicidal intent which most people in shitty situations don't actually experience as they still look at the 'bright' things in life, it's not your fault for being utterly annoyed in such a state and certainly not when you are surrounded by individuals who'd say such a fucking insensitive thing to their depressed child, it just means that you need people around you who'd be supportive and genuinely there or external help (although therapy didn't work for me at all for my depression it did help me start being a bit more stable around people).

Honestly though, based off what you said, you are only reacting how I would expect a depressed person with a lot of emotional baggage to react rather than being inherently 'shitty'. It's pretty shitty thing to tell someone in your position that as your literal mother however.

 

[WonderWhatsOutThere]

I was literally just about to make a post like this lol. Yeah, I think I'm a total piece of shit who is beyond redemption. I've been a good person for the most part. But in the most important moments I have put myself and my temporary feelings above others and their well being.

I've told my family about the things I've done, and they still insist I deserve and can live a good life when neither is true. I think they want to believe the person they knew as a kid is still around, not understanding that he is already dead. And that he's dead due to their actions, the actions of other people, and mostly my actions.

I wish they would just accept that he's gone. Whether I live or die. Hell, even if I live and get better, he's still dead.

 

[Al_stargate]

Well if you are indeed a shitty person, I give you props for acknowledging it. Almost all the time shitty people are not introspective and don't acknowledge their own faults or mistakes. You can try to change not just for sake of the others but also for yourself. Gonna be sad existence if you gonna be a miserable prick forever. I think in life you can either be happy or miserable and it takes a lot more effort to be happy. Being cynical asshole is easy. In life, a person can either be blessed or cursed and you gotta ingratiate yourself with the universe, so to speak, if you wanna have a change at being blessed. But who am I to say anything, after all I ended up in this wretched place, you know.

 

[MiMif]

I was literally just about to make a post like this lol. Yeah, I think I'm a total piece of shit who is beyond redemption. I've been a good person for the most part. But in the most important moments I have put myself and my temporary feelings above others and their well being.

I've told my family about the things I've done, and they still insist I deserve and can live a good life when neither is true. I think they want to believe the person they knew as a kid is still around, not understanding that he is already dead. And that he's dead due to their actions, the actions of other people, and mostly my actions.

I wish they would just accept that he's gone. Whether I live or die. Hell, even if I live and get better, he's still dead.

At least it's not just me. I'm genuinely a piece of shit and I can't believe it's taken me so long to realize. I know that if I became a parent I would neglect them so much and anyone I'm with I always drag down. I yearn for love but once so someone does love me I ruin it and tear them down. I was never meant for this world

 

[ZMkxAVBQ]

I'm just curious. My mom had told me my problem was I was self absorbed and selfish and most depressed people are. Of course when she told me those words I was offended but as years pass I'm starting to realize she was right and I'm just wondering if anyone else is a piece of shit.

Ngl it kind of sounds like your mom is the piece of shit here. Who says shit like that to their kids, especially when said kids are depressed?

 

[MiMif]

Well if you are indeed a shitty person, I give you props for acknowledging it. Almost all the time shitty people are not introspective and don't acknowledge their own faults or mistakes. You can try to change not just for sake of the others but also for yourself. Gonna be sad existence if you gonna be a miserable prick forever. I think in life you can either be happy or miserable and it takes a lot more effort to be happy. Being cynical asshole is easy. In life, a person can either be blessed or cursed and you gotta ingratiate yourself with the universe, so to speak, if you wanna have a change at being blessed. But who am I to say anything, after all I ended up in this wretched place, you know.

Problem is I don't really care I'm a shitty person. The best i do is not take it to far. The shottiest thing Ive done by far is drag an innocent animal along with me. At first I didn't even feel bad about it though I knew what I was doing was awful. I've had my let since around middle school or highschool and told my parents around a year later that I didn't want her. I was neglecting her emotionally and legit only taking care of her by feeding her. They refused to let me give her away. The more years passed the more I despised her for no reason. When she cuddled with me I vividly imagined breaking her neck so she wouldnt be my problem anymore. I never physically harmed her but was repulsed.

I also told my parents this and they still refused to let me give her away and said to stop acting deep or whatever. Once I turned 18 I tried giving her away to my friend as I was about to move out and was beginning to feel guilty towards the poor creature. I was so close to letting her have an owner she deserves and tht deserves her but my parents said right when I was about to give her away and my friend already bought stuff to take care of her that they would take care of her and I figured that'd be best cause she's been with me for years and I didn't want to shock her too much. Then I ended up having an attempt tht landed me in the hospital and once I got out my parents immediately gave her back to me. I feel so awful shes forced to have an owner like me. She was throwing up the other day and I just watched her and in the back of my head was hoping this meant shed die soon.

Most people say they're shitty but honestly aren't tht bad but I know. It took me a while but I do know. I am a genuinely horrid person that doesn't deserve any love and can't truly give any love.

But honestly the only ones I feel sorry for are the animals I've done shitty things to not humans. I am plenty shit to humans but I don't feel bad. Including kids I genuinely don't care. I feel the tiniest bit sorry for my younger brother but apart of him just annoys me and I don't care at all to change. The only thing I can offer is leaving his life as he's started to copy me and all my bad habits and I barely hold back cursing him out and yelling at him. He's like 10.

I don't care to change and will always be like this the only way to save people from my existence is to die.

Ngl it kind of sounds like your mom is the piece of shit here. Who says shit like that to their kids, especially when said kids are depressed?

Once I attempted and my friends called the police so my parents came to pick me up and the first thing my mom did was slap me in the face once we got home and told me to stop being selfish. I do feel the tiniest bit sorry to my mother for having a child like me but honestly I feel no love for her. I recently ended up in the hospital around two months ago for an overdose and my mom did say she realized some things she said and did were bad and she was sorry tho then after a few seconds of me being quiet and just watching her she said it was also my fault....I am shitty but I have never done anything shitty to my parents. I am ashamed to say but I do blame half of my problems and mental issues on my parents. Recently found out I have BPD and I blame them more

Ngl it kind of sounds like your mom is the piece of shit here. Who says shit like that to their kids, especially when said kids are depressed?

Once I attempted and my friends called the police so my parents came to pick me up and the first thing my mom did was slap me in the face once we got home and told me to stop being selfish. I do feel the tiniest bit sorry to my mother for having a child like me but honestly I feel no love for her. I recently ended up in the hospital around two months ago for an overdose and my mom did say she realized some things she said and did were bad and she was sorry tho then after a few seconds of me being quiet and just watching her she said it was also my fault....I am shitty but I have never done anything shitty to my parents. I am ashamed to say but I do blame half of my problems and mental issues on my parents. Recently found out I have BPD and I blame them more

Ngl it kind of sounds like your mom is the piece of shit here. Who says shit like that to their kids, especially when said kids are depressed?

Once I attempted and my friends called the police so my parents came to pick me up and the first thing my mom did was slap me in the face once we got home and told me to stop being selfish. I do feel the tiniest bit sorry to my mother for having a child like me but honestly I feel no love for her. I recently ended up in the hospital around two months ago for an overdose and my mom did say she realized some things she said and did were bad and she was sorry tho then after a few seconds of me being quiet and just watching her she said it was also my fault....I am shitty but I have never done anything shitty to my parents. I am ashamed to say but I do blame half of my problems and mental issues on my parents. Recently found out I have BPD and I blame them more

Ngl it kind of sounds like your mom is the piece of shit here. Who says shit like that to their kids, especially when said kids are depressed?

Once I attempted and my friends called the police so my parents came to pick me up and the first thing my mom did was slap me in the face once we got home and told me to stop being selfish. I do feel the tiniest bit sorry to my mother for having a child like me but honestly I feel no love for her. I recently ended up in the hospital around two months ago for an overdose and my mom did say she realized some things she said and did were bad and she was sorry tho then after a few seconds of me being quiet and just watching her she said it was also my fault....I am shitty but I have never done anything shitty to my parents. I am ashamed to say but I do blame half of my problems and mental issues on my parents. Recently found out I have BPD and I blame them more

Ngl it kind of sounds like your mom is the piece of shit here. Who says shit like that to their kids, especially when said kids are depressed?

Once I attempted and my friends called the police so my parents came to pick me up and the first thing my mom did was slap me in the face once we got home and told me to stop being selfish. I do feel the tiniest bit sorry to my mother for having a child like me but honestly I feel no love for her. I recently ended up in the hospital around two months ago for an overdose and my mom did say she realized some things she said and did were bad and she was sorry tho then after a few seconds of me being quiet and just watching her she said it was also my fault....I am shitty but I have never done anything shitty to my parents. I am ashamed to say but I do blame half of my problems and mental issues on my parents. Recently found out I have BPD and I blame them more

 

[Wolf Girl]

I'm a lil piece of shit. I didn't used to be, but life events and bipolar drove me to do a lot of garbage things. So many people have left. I have so much hate in my heart. I'm so ashamed.

 

[Upon a hanging Body]

I'm as nice as can be and I do care a lot but I'm honestly a shitty person. I let my mental illnesses control me and I'm ok with it. Self destruction is all I really know now.

 

[MiMif]

I'm as nice as can be and I do care a lot but I'm honestly a shitty person. I let my mental illnesses control me and I'm ok with it. Self destruction is all I really know now.

Random but is ur pfp Aiko?

 

[WonderWhatsOutThere]

At least it's not just me. I'm genuinely a piece of shit and I can't believe it's taken me so long to realize. I know that if I became a parent I would neglect them so much and anyone I'm with I always drag down. I yearn for love but once so someone does love me I ruin it and tear them down. I was never meant for this world

I feel the same way. I wanted to believe that I wasn't one for a while, but when your behavior patterns manifest over and over again despite your best efforts to do things differently you just eventually come to the conclusion that you are a bad person. I don't even have the excuse of alcohol or drugs to justify my actions. At least then I could tell myself "I was on something and it affected my judgement. It may not excuse my actions, but at least I have a clear path to move forward". Nope. I'm just a broken asshole and karma got me good

 

[kitkat9234]

I'm a giant POS. I fucking hate myself

 

[Upon a hanging Body]

Random but is ur pfp Aiko?

Yesssss

 

[MiMif]

Yesssss

Aiko is my girl ....tho I fear I'm a punpun kinnie