Am I just depressed or do I simply want to die?

[Whited Sepulchre]

Can anybody help figure out my current state of mind?
I just keep sitting or standing or lying or staring wid the thought of just dying, just dying, dying...
No incidents, no triggers.
Can't focus on anything - not eating, not drinking, not watching, not playing, not listening - just keep thinking involuntarily about not existing.
Am I just depressed or is my mind brainwashing me to end it?

 

[LMLN]

I'm so sorry. I am no help, I'm wondering the same. I wonder if shitty life circumstances ever justify ctb. Or if we are always expected to overcome, and if we don't it means we are depressed, or "mentally ill", or "abnormal". Is suicide ever a normal response? Everyone tells me no. But these people have not had the bad life circumstances I have had. Could these people live through what I have? I don't know.
Sorry, just thinking aloud. I'm sorry you are feeling like this. You are not alone.