Help am i cooked?

[ditsyangel]

ever since i was little ive been cutting myself, there are disgusting scars all over my disgusting body. after my last suicide attempt this year at the end of january, i thought i was getting better. i got baptised and i pretended like everything was perfect, and it worked for a while. but now im exhausted im tired and i cant do this anymore every waking moment i want to cut myself i want to kill myself i want to disappear i dont know how to fix myself i dont even care that im ugly and fat and that i dont have a future or talents or anything, i just wanna be a different person in a different place or just die. how do i fix myself? or is there no hope for me?

 

[nogoodplaisance]

i cant really offer much advice but i dont think youre done for. im not sure if you can shake the hopelessness feeling but i'd honestly just take a walk outside and try looking at everything i see, maybe pass by some trees and look at trash on the ground.

try making a checklist for the week. put "take a shower" or "admire self in the mirror." just some basic stuff because every bit helps

 

[Ilovemycats]

I honestly relate with the feeling of wanting to dissapear, it just feels like the best solution and is the easiest. Personally I don't think that all hope is lost though, I wouldn't exactly recommend ignoring the problem and pretending like it doesn't exist because that will make you feel worse.

Maybe you could talk about such feelings with someone close to you? If you don't want to then you could also start a diary where you can spill everything. (^^)