Discussion Am I a sociopath?

[hannahryan]

This isn't myself being edgy and calling myself a sociopath. This is what my adolescent psychiatrist said and current forensic psychologist thinks.

When I was 15 eight years ago, I got really mad and attacked my mother with a kitchen knife. She went to the hospital but didn't report it. First time I was ever violent. I didn't attack her then but started given my parents the middle finger behind their backs.

I was eventually taken to a psychiatrist after my school principal was getting reports of me having homicidal thoughts. My psychiatrist hinted that I may have sociopathic tendancies but I'm not sure. It wouldn't bother me if I was one.

 

[Darkmoon Queen]

This isn't myself being edgy and calling myself a sociopath. This is what my adolescent psychiatrist said and current forensic psychologist thinks.

When I was 15 eight years ago, I got really mad and attacked my mother with a kitchen knife. She went to the hospital but didn't report it. First time I was ever violent. I didn't attack her then but started given my parents the middle finger behind their backs.

I was eventually taken to a psychiatrist after my school principal was getting reports of me having homicidal thoughts. My psychiatrist hinted that I may have sociopathic tendancies but I'm not sure. It wouldn't bother me if I was one.

The fact it doesn't bother you might be a fairly big indicator. Do you feel any remorse for what you did to your mother? Where do the homicidal thoughts come from?

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

If you're curious you could take an online test and then see a professional for a real assessment if you get a high score.

 

[Makko]

There's nothing good about wearing this label. If you are one, you don't want official records of it.

 

[Dot]

First q would be why so angry at parents.

 

[stellabelle]

This isn't myself being edgy and calling myself a sociopath. This is what my adolescent psychiatrist said and current forensic psychologist thinks.

When I was 15 eight years ago, I got really mad and attacked my mother with a kitchen knife. She went to the hospital but didn't report it. First time I was ever violent. I didn't attack her then but started given my parents the middle finger behind their backs.

I was eventually taken to a psychiatrist after my school principal was getting reports of me having homicidal thoughts. My psychiatrist hinted that I may have sociopathic tendancies but I'm not sure. It wouldn't bother me if I was one.

you know.
I grew up in abuse and being told I was a mistake. Screamed at constantly, hair ripped out, triggered, fucked with, talked about instead of talked to, lied to and lied about, all of that. Stalked. Harassed. No matter what I did, the screaming never stopped. The stalking never stopped. The "game" never stopped and it wasn't a game. And I finally snapped.
did I enjoy that? No I did not, I did not enjoy being stolen from, lied about, lied to, "interrogated", held against my will, accused, and fucked with.
Held captive. I am a person, not an object, they failed to realize that one day I would come back and it would not be a good thing.

every word I ever said or wrote was twisted this way or that way.

my mother was a coward who abused my father and sisters and myself and lied about it. The abuse continued well into adulthood and I was repeatedly told to go face the ugly leather faced bitch that pretended to be innocent.

did smashing those plates and cutting things apart feel good? No.
did overdosing feel good? No.
Did screaming feel good? No.
To be that big of a fucking piece of shit, did that feel good? No.
But no, no was not good enough when I said no. No was not good enough a thousand times. stop was not good enough, a thousand times. "Well we like ruining your happiness and your transportation and jobs for fun."
your privacy. Your Autonomy. Your choices. We ripped those away too.

yeah. Was it fun begging and pleading and repeating myself a thousand times, help? No, it was not.
Was it fun being raped and stalked and having everyone around you threatened and being stolen from?
Got any info? Got any money? Can I rip your pants off you?

did I have remorse for what I had done? To a point, yes, yes and no, stupid asses…. No it's a game hehehehehe… until it turns deadly.

people are people and they just don't stop their lies and bullshit. And I could be rotting in prison or dead.

and honestly. I wish someone would have stopped them from doing this years ago instead of allowing it to continue.

Hey qtipi we steal from you all we want… because we are fuckin trash.
Why thank you, thank you, losers.

 

[forgotten15]

you know.
I grew up in abuse and being told I was a mistake. Screamed at constantly, hair ripped out, triggered, fucked with, talked about instead of talked to, lied to and lied about, all of that. Stalked. Harassed. No matter what I did, the screaming never stopped. The stalking never stopped. The "game" never stopped and it wasn't a game. And I finally snapped.
did I enjoy that? No I did not, I did not enjoy being stolen from, lied about, lied to, "interrogated", held against my will, accused, and fucked with.
Held captive. I am a person, not an object, they failed to realize that one day I would come back and it would not be a good thing.

every word I ever said or wrote was twisted this way or that way.

my mother was a coward who abused my father and sisters and myself and lied about it. The abuse continued well into adulthood and I was repeatedly told to go face the ugly leather faced bitch that pretended to be innocent.

did smashing those plates and cutting things apart feel good? No.
did overdosing feel good? No.
Did screaming feel good? No.
To be that big of a fucking piece of shit, did that feel good? No.
But no, no was not good enough when I said no. No was not good enough a thousand times. stop was not good enough, a thousand times. "Well we like ruining your happiness and your transportation and jobs for fun."
your privacy. Your Autonomy. Your choices. We ripped those away too.

yeah. Was it fun begging and pleading and repeating myself a thousand times, help? No, it was not.
Was it fun being raped and stalked and having everyone around you threatened and being stolen from?
Got any info? Got any money? Can I rip your pants off you?

did I have remorse for what I had done? To a point, yes, yes and no, stupid asses…. No it's a game hehehehehe… until it turns deadly.

people are people and they just don't stop their lies and bullshit. And I could be rotting in prison or dead.

and honestly. I wish someone would have stopped them from doing this years ago instead of allowing it to continue.

Hey qtipi we steal from you all we want… because we are fuckin trash.
Why thank you, thank you, losers.

I am sorry you had to go through all that. I can understand Your anger.

 

[stellabelle]

I am sorry you had to go through all that. I can understand Your anger.

Thank you for your understanding. The kindness.
Truthfully speaking. People that don't listen, don't care, and keep saying "I'll send money" - bullshit. Stop lying. Stop abusing, stop stalking, stop being a creep, own up to your part - HELP, don't pretend like you do and enable a sex offender and rapist to continue stealing, abusing, lying, intimidating, interrogating, and causing a victim to curl up in a ball and overdose repeatedly for your sick satisfaction. Who are you flirting with? Nobody, I have friends! You're flirting with that guy, no I don't like that guy, I think he's an ass and you're a paranoid sorry sack of shit, why are you threatening my classmates? Why are you using a tracker on my phone to stalk me? Why are you so mentally ill? Why are you asking me about my period or where it is? Why are you ripping my pants off and spitting on your nasty dick and asking why I'm not wet? Because I hate you and you're a bipolar schizophrenic child molester abuser, being enabled by abusers, to continue abusing!

keep asking the same question and the answer doesn't change until it does, and that's a fucking lie just to shut your psychotic 250lb felon ass the fuck up, and then watch you go lie and slander and destroy everything for everyone because you don't take no and stop and leave me alone for an answer. Screaming leave me alone, spitting on someone, flicking lit cigarettes on them screaming get away from me, why are you doing this to me, and they charge toward you and hit you and throw you on the ground and snatch your phone, they throw you around and you push them and bite and kick but you're too small to defend yourself against this horrible monster of a human being. That's the ultimate evil. Allowing an evil to continue their evil shit, for entertainment. Until the victim commits suicide. Yes. The goal. To die and never see the ugly face of abusers again. The lies. The LIES. And the corruption. The cover up. The lies, the bribes, the lies. Well we sent stuff. Well we sent money. Well you could've rented me a fucking place to live to get me through school and instead you wanted to play hisweetipi! It's not okay! Fuck you think was gonna happen?
I don't want STUFF I WANT A PLACE TO LIVE. No I sent you plastic crap and paper crap and clothing to be a piece of crap. Not care about you! I just wanted to know… how to use abuse humiliate ruin and destroy your life!
I don't want you to have a motorcycle, your drivers license, your independence, your job or happiness, I want to keep you in abuse I love abusing you and telling everyone every sick detail and lying and pretending I didn't! Yahahahahahaha good job MOMMEEEEH. You fuckin piece of garbage, a dead piece of garbage liek your two other piece of shit daughters, just garbage in general.

Just get your shit and get out.
Well you burned all my bridges, Matthew, mom, you wonder? You fuckin losers! Can you do us a favor and keep abusing her? Great! Threaten everyone around me? Scream at me? Continue all of those games and continue stealing? Hope the rest of the stalkers and liars and little snitches fucking rot,

 

[RazzleDazzle]

When I was 15 eight years ago, I got really mad and attacked my mother with a kitchen knife. She went to the hospital but didn't report it. First time I was ever violent. I didn't attack her then but started given my parents the middle finger behind their backs.

I was eventually taken to a psychiatrist after my school principal was getting reports of me having homicidal thoughts. My psychiatrist hinted that I may have sociopathic tendancies but I'm not sure. It wouldn't bother me if I was one.

I think the big question is why you attacked your mom and were having homicidal thoughts. If you've experienced any sort of abuse (emotional, psychological, physical, sexual) and your mom either perpetrated and/or didn't protect you from other abusive people, it's pretty understandable that the anger over that is going to come out somewhere.

Violence isn't the answer, but I've lived in abusive situations, it broke me down in ways I can't even begin to describe. And when people don't have empathy for you, after a while it's hard to have empathy for them.

Emotionally shutting down is a response to trauma. If you've experienced trauma and never had a chance to get empathy and support around that I'd say that's probably a more worthwhile thing to explore.

If life has basically been fine for you and you randomly attacked your mom with a knife then that's something to legit be concerned about. My experience with trauma is that dealing with the trauma starts opening up some other avenues to explore.