LuzurPhagget
Experienced
- Sep 15, 2019
- 288
Possibly one of 'em rhetorical questions.
My mother's birthday is today...and my planned D-day is tomorrow. But I'm giving this bullshit excuse that I'm going away for the weekend and won't be back for two days, giving myself like a 2 day buffer period until people start searching for me. You think that's enough time? Will it tarnish my mother's future birthdays?!?
Fuck, the days are getting colder and the roads potentially more dangerous. I plan on driving a good 3 hours away to do the deed and I would fucking HATE to wipeout en route to my death. Fuck! Dammit! I should have done it a while back but just procrastinated on stupid shit. Now I'm torn between being an "inhuman monster" and simple practicalities. Not entirely sure what to do. Would another week really be a sufficient "buffer period" for future birthdays?? Is my stupid SI kicking in and making me question shit?!?
On the other hand, maybe if my CTB prompts her to CTB, that would be a good thing. I mean, at the end of the day, I think she's a stronger person and has more to offer the world than me...but she's also a FUCKING nut. I honestly don't know if she's caused more misery than she's added more joy/happiness to the family. Maybe my neice would be better off with her in her life...or maybe she won't. And maybe I shouldn't even give a fuck?!! I couldn't make it, so why the fuck should I care if anybody else does, especially THAT nut.
Dammit, I REALLY don't want to do another week of this, especially if it makes my plans unfeasible.
Any feedback?
My mother's birthday is today...and my planned D-day is tomorrow. But I'm giving this bullshit excuse that I'm going away for the weekend and won't be back for two days, giving myself like a 2 day buffer period until people start searching for me. You think that's enough time? Will it tarnish my mother's future birthdays?!?
Fuck, the days are getting colder and the roads potentially more dangerous. I plan on driving a good 3 hours away to do the deed and I would fucking HATE to wipeout en route to my death. Fuck! Dammit! I should have done it a while back but just procrastinated on stupid shit. Now I'm torn between being an "inhuman monster" and simple practicalities. Not entirely sure what to do. Would another week really be a sufficient "buffer period" for future birthdays?? Is my stupid SI kicking in and making me question shit?!?
On the other hand, maybe if my CTB prompts her to CTB, that would be a good thing. I mean, at the end of the day, I think she's a stronger person and has more to offer the world than me...but she's also a FUCKING nut. I honestly don't know if she's caused more misery than she's added more joy/happiness to the family. Maybe my neice would be better off with her in her life...or maybe she won't. And maybe I shouldn't even give a fuck?!! I couldn't make it, so why the fuck should I care if anybody else does, especially THAT nut.
Dammit, I REALLY don't want to do another week of this, especially if it makes my plans unfeasible.
Any feedback?