Alzheimer of my mother : big problem for my ctb😰😞😭

[Defenestration]

My big problem with CTB My mother has Alzheimer's disease.

She lives with my father 800 meters from my house. My mother and father aren't doing too well, so I'm a big support for my mother.
My sister comes back down every five weeks (she's very active and often has vacation time) and takes really good care of her, but her job is 600 kilometers away.

I know that if I CTB, my mother will inevitably decrease, and I'll put my father, mother, and sister in an impossible and terrible situation, causing them extreme suffering. I feel trapped...

I so wish I could be murdered in the street, hit by a car, have an aneurysm while I sleep
I wish I could die instantly like an accident

I feel trapped in this situation, it's sometimes unbearable... Before, in 2021 and 2022, I was supposed to be taking care of my boyfriend who passed away in 2022...

Is anyone else stuck like me because of a family member? It's really very difficult.
Solution ?

Solution...??? Do I have the right to kill me? No. Or else I have to invent a fake excuse, like a breakup... It's hard being a caregiver and having a mental illness (bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, social phobia, generalized anxiety).

 

[NoPoint2Life]

you have my sympathy. Up until recently I was helping my father take care of my mother who had a ton of physical issues. I'm an only child. So even though my father was in good health and it wasn't exactly all on me there always was the potential to be if something happens to him and a lot still on me.

And Alzheimer's and dementia are a totally different beast. I had no patience for what I had to do and I think those diseases involve way more patience.

I don't have an answer for you. But I completely understand everything you are saying. It's a really complicated set of circumstances.

 

[Defenestration]

Me big mental illness + Alzheimer of my mother and death of my boyfriend...