Alone, SI, at the end but cant

[downndone2]

I'm so alone, isolated, anxious, depressed, sad and can't stand existing...











Have 2 guns loaded but the SI is so bad. Maybe someday it'll come desperately and impulsively. Tomorrow feels like it may be bad but then a few small things nexweek











Have considered going out front and shooting myself on the rare occasion when my friend visits. I hate to put him thru it but someone Has to find me. He is best over everyone I know, just sometimes hear from him about 30 mins before he shows up. He would at least reach out to friends and family about the dogs



I hardly have anyone in my life. I'm unemployed, in massive debt, tax troubles, and agorophobic as fuck with my anxiety. Going anywhere is nearly impossible.



Why can't ctb be easier than this. I just cannot keep going

 

[FuneralCry]

It must be so tiring feeling trapped in that situation, I get that it's awful when you wish to be gone yet you struggle to leave this world, I very much hate how suicide has to be so difficult for us. Of course I believe that if it was easier to leave I would be long gone.