Venting Alone and struggling

[shingstars]

It sucks that I have to come back here, but I truly have no one to turn to anymore. I've been trying to recover and I'm really proud to say that I have less or close to no suicidal thoughts or feelings of self harm/depression. However the problem is that it feels like people around me, specifically my family, hate seeing me happy. It's always been my family making me depressed, I hate saying that but they truly are the reason I went into depression and now they are the reason I'm struggling to get out. I have no one to turn to, not my friends, and I've been too traumatized by therapist and doctors. My family is always doing little passive aggressive things or just outright attacking me out of nowhere. Therapists have tried and they have even recommended half of them for individual therapy. It's like I can't catch a break. A part of me holds a lot of resentment towards them, but it hurts me to say that. It pains me that no matter how many times I try and fix our relationship it's always something preventing that.

 

[untothedepths]

I'm so sorry you deal with this, OP. I will say though you are extremely strong, and its admirable. You have worked hard to pull yourself out of the quagmire. I'm sorry you have to deal with your parents. We don't get to choose the people who surround us and allow into our lives, to an extent. And parents can be the most damaging of people too. They know your vulnerabilities, you love and care about them. I had to completely cut ties with my mother. I know thats not easy though for everyone, especially nowadays in this economy where moving is a major expense and homelessness is one of the absolute worse states a person can be in.

 

[LaughingGoat]

My view on family is you should be willing to cut anyone off and remove them from your life if what they add to it is negativity. The only blood bond one has a moral responsibility for is a parent to their child. All other family, besides a partner, wasn't chosen by you and you have no duty to keep them in your life. You can do so without resentment, I don't hate the family I no longer associate with, but in your efforts of self-improvement, sometimes it's the best thing to do.

 

[silentcicada]

I can really relate to this. I've tried so hard, and tried just about every medical treatment, but it boils down to my family's awful behavior. I can't recover with them in my life, confronting them would just cause more problems.

If you need someone to vent to, or just talk with, I'll be here.