I tried partial about a couple of months ago in my car with a belt and it was too awkward to have it nice and secure so just didn't really have a proper chance to go for it. In the meantime i practiced slipknots with shoelaces because they are very strong and long enough for partial. Last night i drove somewhere isolated and put one end of the laces round my neck the other end tied to the ceiling on a pull down handle thing that i think all cars have. I tightened the slipknot not all the way but enough so it wouldn't slip off because i was scared and unsure about changing my mind at the last second. Anyway i let my head rest in about 8 seconds heard weird pressure noises in my ears felt like i was falling asleep and just shot up at the last second out of fear i was so fucking close i believe a couple more seconds and it would have been over because nobody was around to stop it and everything was secure. I honestly don't know if i will ever be able to do this but i just desperately want to die fuck i wish i wasn't scared of passing out and never waking up.
suffering
Too p*ssy to end it, too suicidal to leave
- Aug 17, 2018
- 398
I feel you. My survival instinct sabotaged me as well. I'm trapped.
I feel like i'm running out of time to do this because the suffering is unbearable now. No matter what happens all this pain will be over for all of us within 100 years and when we all finally die it will be as if we never existed and that puts a smile on my face.
Pegasus
Experienced
- Dec 15, 2018
- 258
therhydler
Enlightened
- Dec 7, 2018
- 1,196
That's why I'll be going for full...
Pegasus
Experienced
- Dec 15, 2018
- 258
Sounds like a better option to me too.
One might be able to train themselves to push a few more seconds each time. Not sure if its possible. But id you can manage to hold yourself from reacting a few milliseconds longer each time it wont take much to tip over that point where you just go limp.
I like the way you think that's some good advice right there if i can just keep trying until i pass out without realising i won't even know i died or ever existed. The good thing about partial is that i can try everyday if i want and sooner or later i should succeed.
Sanguinius
Chicken of ss
- Aug 9, 2018
- 291
I've tried it once that way too... Did you have headache after too?
No didn't have headache but felt sick for a while after probably because of the adrenaline and nerves.
bigj75
“From Knowledge springs power."
- Sep 1, 2018
- 2,540
Shoe laces really?
Was there much pain involved?
Was there much pain involved?
Sanguinius
Chicken of ss
- Aug 9, 2018
- 291
When I tried it with a shoelace, it hurted badly but not inendurable.
bigj75
“From Knowledge springs power."
- Sep 1, 2018
- 2,540
I think the thinner it is the more it hurts. But also padding works well. I'll have to try that.
That whooshing feeling when you realise everything's happening really fast is a real kicker, right?
Not sure about partial.. but ive tried to choke myself out a few times and there is a big rush from doing that...
It didn't hurt at all just uncomfortable but maybe i didn't feel it because of the mental pain was so bad and i have to say shoe laces have crazy strength.
Jodes
Enlightened
- Nov 23, 2018
- 1,261
I'm sorry you went through all that. You sound incredibly pressed to CTB.
What were you referring to that might change your mind in the last seconds? I hope you don't mind me asking - I think it's an important question and its personally relevant to me too
I dont know how plausable it is.. but coming from a background around drug users... you can get the chef cream canisters filled with nitrogen that you inhail (not intended purpose), ive seen people seemingly pass out for a minute or two or atleast be to incapacitacted to move from this...
If the bloodflow to ones head was cut off while in this state ones survival instincts may not be able to react before they are rendered unconcious.
Not sure if its plausable just thinking out loud.
There would also be the initial benifit of the high associated with it, though its a high that not everyone may enjoy.
If the bloodflow to ones head was cut off while in this state ones survival instincts may not be able to react before they are rendered unconcious.
Not sure if its plausable just thinking out loud.
There would also be the initial benifit of the high associated with it, though its a high that not everyone may enjoy.
Xaphous
hikikomori
- Nov 11, 2018
- 550
Everyone here has a high IQ than me because I'm too pathetic to even work out how to do it right.
therhydler
Enlightened
- Dec 7, 2018
- 1,196
I literally have no idea how people succeed with partial, for me even if I put a bit of pressure it is already painful and I am nowhere near blacking out. Todays attempts have only left me with a sore throat :/ I don't know how people do this
It's always been my parents and sister that has been the reason i find it hard to just do it and i'm trying to just get over the guilt and go through with it. I definately would be better off dead but people are too pro life and never listen or understand real problems we have. I feel like i can eventually end it but the guilt is the hardest thing for me to overcome i died years ago but physically here.
Yeah i almost lost control physically of my body like my brain was shuting down.
I was thinking of taking something to try to get past it because i want to try again soon.
Jodes
Enlightened
- Nov 23, 2018
- 1,261
You might not appreciate thus suggestion, but while you are still here, try to get the communication through to your parents and sister. At the least, they'll know you really tried. But you might get through, and that opens the door to both recovery And guilt reduced suicide, whichever your path takes you, rather than this limbo
I have told them a few times i want out but it just makes it worse and starts arguments. I just know talking about it does nothing for me to be honest i donz't think it would be a shock for them but i know it would hurt them.
How long did your sore throat remained? Tried partial ten days ago and my throat hurts as fuck
therhydler
Enlightened
- Dec 7, 2018
- 1,196
Oh wow I'm sorry... mine was for like a day only :/
Nanako
Experienced
- Dec 24, 2018
- 287
