lifecouldbedream
Student
- Oct 8, 2021
- 144
The reasons that I was (and still somewhat am) suicidal are obviously not great and still there, but the fact that I tried to almost kill myself has actually given me the motivation to improve my life. I threw away all of my weed as it was a huge problem that I had and certainly made my quality of life much worse. I was also very distant from my inner emotions--I had no idea what I was truly thinking or feeling as my mind was too good at covering it up. I didn't even think I was depressed despite having frequent suicidal thoughts. Ended up engaging in self-destructive things--not making much effort as to not get caught. Eventually got caught and made me realize how I really felt. It was like a switch flipped in my head. I stopped faking my personality and actually became in touch with my inner emotions.
I have now drastically improved my diet, gotten off of all recreational substances, started sleeping and waking up early instead of sleeping 14 hours a day, and taking supplements. Huperzine A twice a week, Phenibut once a week, Lion's Mane twice a day and nicotinic acid once a day. My supplies to grow mushrooms to microdose with have just arrived as well. I haven't even started exercising or meditating but I feel great everyday instead of lousy and lethargic. I actually have motivations to do good things. Before I was literally debating whether or not I should brush my teeth or pick up trash, now I do those things because not doing them makes me feel lousy.
I was not too far gone but I hope my experience can make someone else who is trying to recover realize that not all hope is lost--there is a great horizon of life waiting for us.
I have now drastically improved my diet, gotten off of all recreational substances, started sleeping and waking up early instead of sleeping 14 hours a day, and taking supplements. Huperzine A twice a week, Phenibut once a week, Lion's Mane twice a day and nicotinic acid once a day. My supplies to grow mushrooms to microdose with have just arrived as well. I haven't even started exercising or meditating but I feel great everyday instead of lousy and lethargic. I actually have motivations to do good things. Before I was literally debating whether or not I should brush my teeth or pick up trash, now I do those things because not doing them makes me feel lousy.
I was not too far gone but I hope my experience can make someone else who is trying to recover realize that not all hope is lost--there is a great horizon of life waiting for us.
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