All I want is job and income security (I work in tech as a UX Designer and Researcher)

[whatadom]

I'm posting in this recovery forum now for the first time.

If I could resolve this one thing I wouldn't be suicidal (I'm a middle aged UX Designer struggling with career and growth)

Short story is :

• I feel really inescure in the UX Design and Tech industry
• I have a contract until the end of the year but I'm really struggling in the job market
• If I had security I would no longer feel suicidal

Longer story :

• So in Decmber I turned 40, and I was feeling a bit anxious before then because i was thinking "bloody hell" is this my life for the next 20 years until I'm 60. Where I'll be doing and workin this way.
• I'm a contractor and my contract was up for renewal at the end of last year. I'm delighted I've been extended as it shows to me that "someone" values me to be paid and get a job.
• Righly I went onto the job market "just in case" I didn't get extended, but I found the job market so tough. I have 14 years of expereince. I have worked at places like Meta / Facebook. But the market has shifted so much recently where places only want to have Product Designers who are very graphics based. I'm not a graphics person, I'm a UX person who tries to understand user needs before it goes onto the visual design.
• I'm also just feeling ashamed of all the work I've ever done. I look on social media and other people's portfolios and they are so much more flashy and complete than mine. I wish I could have worked on these more impactful projects and products, but all I really feel is I've gone into certain situations. I've tried to be my best but then theres been politics and disfunction which makes it tough. I find as well that I'm too truthful in my case studies wanting to show exactly what i worked on and did but I feel ashamed by it.

Simple solution for me not to feel suicidal would be to know that I'm actually good, and wanted in the UX jobs market, and just have job security

I don't know what else to say or do as that's actually the problem I'm facing right now, and I just don't see the light at the end, so can someone help and advise please?

 

[ForgottenAgain]

I work in the tech industry as well, as a videogame programmer, so I work with UI/UX designers a lot. Tech is a hard and unstable field - from the need to keep learning and expanding constantly, to the mass layoffs once in a while, it's not easy to feel secure.

For your case, and if you're seeking more security, have you considered changing your contract so you're a full time employee rather than a contractor? I don't know where you live, but if it isn't the US, that contract change should bring you a lot more security. Being a contractor is very stressful precisely because the client can drop you more easily than if you were a regular employee.

As for the flashy portfolio of others, we will always see others has better than us, it's usually how it goes. We compare our failures to other's displayed successes. I think UX shouldn't be flashy, it should be simple so you can evaluate whether the flow of that screen makes sense. Most likely, those other professionals you see may also work on UI and therefore show those two things together. That's something you can do as well if you want. With that many years of experience, I have no doubt you have the capability to adapt and learn new things.

They hired you and renewed your contract for a reason - your work is valuable and deserves keeping you around. There will always be people who, in your eyes, are better than you. Just keep improving your craft, doing your best, building your portfolio and see if you can secure a full time contract for yourself if security is most important for you now.