Venting All I think about is suicide

[CoolGuy9]

I want to play games and watch videos and take walks and talk to people, but no matter what I do, this pain won't leave me and all I can think about is dying and how everything sucks. It's unbearable and I can't take it, Just please make it fucking stop already. Sometimes a random thought comes to my mind and I want to throw stuff around and punch walls. I can't take it anymore and I just want it to be over.

 

[Snake of Eden]

It is a great deal of pain to feel when we dont want to live but cant bring ourself to ctb either. I am going through alot of torment and dread from the moment i wake up until i sleep and sometimes even dreams are dreadful. It is an awful state of being and nobody understands. My worst is when I get so agitated that I cant sit still because i feel opposing desires are conflicting inside of me. I want to end the pain but i dont want to cause it to those who love me. I want peace but I am not too sure i will achieve that because i cant get over the embedded doctrine inside of my head that I may go to hell for a sin like suicide. Nothing anyone says can help me feel better or convince me otherwise. I know if I attempt to ctb I will have to do it despite all my conventions which would take a great deal of suffering to push me over my limit if there is such a thing as a limit to what we cant take more of. You are not alone in your hell on earth I am with you right there

 

[FuneralCry]

Yes, living really is painful. For me upon every waking moment is feelings of dread and hopelessness, they never leave. Thoughts of ctb are always there. It is like I have already died but I am still breathing. For me there is no enjoyment to be found and the future is likely to get worse. Our thoughts can torture us. I'm sorry you are going through this, I understand it can be hard.

 

[Alwaysbadtime]

It sucks a bag of dicks and then some.

 

[IWantToSleep]

Same here, I feel horrible right now.

 

[A_miStake_of_NATURE]

I feel ya……
No matter how hard I'm trying to convince myself there could be a hope, I've never felt so hopeless in my whole life……
Just hope it'll be over sooner than later

 

[stutter]

Since i was 16 there wasnt a single day where i didnt think about suicide. Hopelessness. Im almost 30 now
I feel you

 

[Judah]

Life is a stage that I want to skip quickly

 

[NasiGoreng]

It's so difficult to do things for the future, when I cant decide if there will be another day. Everyday is tormenting me with pain, and it's so difficult to escape.