Venting All going to shit

[TheHatedOne]

My life has been going only downhill ever since I was 16 years old (not that it was okay before). But now things are growing unsure and I feel that my final time is approaching, slowly, but certainly. It's only getting worse and worse. First, I have financial uncertainty. The amount I have rn will be only enough to live where I am now only for 4-5 months more. After that if nothing changes I'll probably be forced to move back to the abusive house. Which I won't accept. I know for a fact that if it would happen, no matter how coward I'll be then, I'll have to ctb, no matter what. You could possibly think why I don't get a job. I can barely keep up with university+chores, let alone university+chores+work. Finding work is also impossible, before moving out, I tried to find a job a good part of the summer but they wouldn't even bother to look at my CV.

That's only a part for why I think all it's going to shit. Another part is that I will probably fail many subjects in uni this semester, I never was like this before. But 13-14 years of studying and bullshit are enough. Especially if you study something you dislike.

Another part is this crush problem that really consumes me. It's even worse because anything else from here would be impossible. If I confess it will be awful. I confessed to a crush I had in 10th grade, it didn't go well. And this time it's not even irl anymore, it's right on this site. Nope, it's impossible. So I have to suffer in silence and try to inhibit these feelings, eventually move on. But it hurts man.

Basically, I'm fucked. Can't wait to drink again tonight, being sober for too long fucking sucks.

 

[fox_wannabe]

university+chores+work.

This is terrible man, nobody should have to do all 3 at the same time. It leads to burn out and depression. Job market is shit these days. Gold age of economy is forever gone I am afraid. We will just eat crumbles in a future.

 

[farakini]

I'm sorry you have to go through that alone. I can only imagine the pressure u feel daily.

 

[avoid_slow_death]

I'm so sorry you are going through this. Any time you need to talk, you know how to reach me.

 

[Fakereality]

Your university seems to be stressing you a lot among other things, if i was in that situation i would leave university for a period of time atleast, in such a depressive state of mind it becomes very life consuming to learn anything worthwhile or achieve much in education and the education system is design to suck the life out of student's existence and turn them into mindless cogs in the eternal machine of suffering which is life, handling a job without worrying about university may put less stress on your mind.
As for the crush problem it happens we don't choose who we have feelings for, crushes rarely ever leads to relationships though that's something life has taught me a long time ago.

 

[TheHatedOne]

Your university seems to be stressing you a lot among other things, if i was in that situation i would leave university for a period of time atleast, in such a depressive state of mind it becomes very life consuming to learn anything worthwhile or achieve much in education and the education system is design to suck the life out of student's existence and turn them into mindless cogs in the eternal machine of suffering which is life, handling a job without worrying about university may put less stress on your mind.
As for the crush problem it happens we don't choose who we have feelings for, crushes rarely ever leads to relationships though that's something life has taught me a long time ago.

I'm forced to go through university.

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

You shouldn't have to work while studying at university and living alone.

Boomers are really delusional about the job market. I don't think you are to blame at all for being unable to find work, the current economy in most countries has went to hell in a handbasket and currency is becoming about as valuable as monopoly money.

Seriously, a lot of the worker shortages are self-fulfilling prophecies. These large companies whine about not being able to hire anyone, then pay their employees bread-line tier wages, refuse to update their infrastructure to train more people for the roles, create artificial competition, and make people's lives miserable over their lust for cutting corners and profits.

I keep seeing 48282 news articles a day about how the NHS is short staffed and pushed to capacity, yet when you look at many job vacancies for the NHS, like biomedical laboratory positions, cancer technicians, and other highly skilled professions, they will only offer maybe 4 or 5 places total in a pool of 300-400+ applicants.

Your job during university is to be a student, it is shameful you are not getting enough support to take care of yourself and having to struggle in this capitalistic greedy hell world.

 

[The Divine Comedy]

Horrible but relatable sentimets. I'm sorry to hear that every pillar of stability is crumbling.

I like your picture by the way.

 

[DeathWillComeSoon]

Hey, if you want to chat, feel free to message me. I don't know you but I would like to help. I mean, if you need help with rent money, maybe I can help for another month at least, not sure. I'm debating on whether I should ctb in a few weeks or not so the money would be useless to me anyways, might as well try and help somebody. I also have a snapchat and FB if that works better, not sure. If I don't hear from you, I understand, don't worry about it :)

 

[FuneralCry]

It is an awful feeling when things keep on getting worse. Life is just so horrible as there is no limit as to how bad things can get and how much we can suffer. I'm sorry you are under so much stress, after all we are all human and there is only so much we can take. I wish you the best.

 

[Clarity In Kerosene]

Can't wait to drink again tonight, being sober for too long fucking sucks.

I feel you. I'm I'm living at home and failing out of collage for the second time, I lay in my bed rotting away all day and wait until night so I can get high again and not have to feel so sick. I wish I wasn't so alone and I wish I had the fucking balls to ctb

 

[fox_wannabe]

I feel you. I'm I'm living at home and failing out of collage for the second time, I lay in my bed rotting away all day and wait until night so I can get high again and not have to feel so sick. I wish I wasn't so alone and I wish I had the fucking balls to ctb

I am also in the college, do you want to talk? I live to play rainbow six XD