xterii
perpetually hopeless
- Feb 28, 2026
- 16
just needing to voice some frustrations
i have a lot of animals i care for and love deeply, they are truly the one sole reason i am still here. i am strongly devoted to all of them, i started off with one reptile and have ended up rescuing five more within the past year or two. i have dogs and horses too, so when i leave, what happens to them all? will my animals think i abandoned them?
with such a strong urge and feeling a gnawing need to ctb this year, preferably before my birthday (coming up next month) im so unsure of how to overcome this.
i do not fear death, my ctb attempts have led up adding more animals into my life. i brought this upon myself. not that i regret any of my animals, i regret not having a plan for them, fueling my endless guilt and shame
also have a doctor appointment tomorrow and im so not excited. i hate the scales so much. i owe a ridiculous amount of money to hospitals, ambulances, psychiatrists/therapists, etc already
thank you for listening
i have a lot of animals i care for and love deeply, they are truly the one sole reason i am still here. i am strongly devoted to all of them, i started off with one reptile and have ended up rescuing five more within the past year or two. i have dogs and horses too, so when i leave, what happens to them all? will my animals think i abandoned them?
with such a strong urge and feeling a gnawing need to ctb this year, preferably before my birthday (coming up next month) im so unsure of how to overcome this.
i do not fear death, my ctb attempts have led up adding more animals into my life. i brought this upon myself. not that i regret any of my animals, i regret not having a plan for them, fueling my endless guilt and shame
also have a doctor appointment tomorrow and im so not excited. i hate the scales so much. i owe a ridiculous amount of money to hospitals, ambulances, psychiatrists/therapists, etc already
thank you for listening
