Resource alice miller

[DocNo]

she and some of her books were already sometimes mentioned in several threads but i thought it might make sense to start a thread which is completely dedicated to her work.

after reading some years ago "the drama of the gifted child" i noticed over time more and more how it made me understand things about myself and where some of my struggles come from, i now finished "the body never lies" and this book did hit me much more directly. there were a lot of things which i really could relate to on a very deep level.

i really can recommend these two books cause it helped me to understand very well where my fear of being abandoned and also my fear of easily being a burden or being annoying comes from. it also made me realize how we are still burdened by this religious aspect that we have to honor our parents. while reading "the body never lies" i realized it's ok to not love my mother and my feeling to love her always came from a feeling of guilt instead of real love.
it also reminded me about the time when i was close to ctb three years ago where i was standing on a chair with a noose around my neck that this invisible something which always judges me and forces me to be perfect is only an illusion. it came back a few months later and so did my depression. but now while reading "the body never lies" i realized that it's ok how i feel about some things. for a long time i avoided to feel cause i felt overwhelmed by lots of this feelings. this aspect got a lot better since i registered here and opened up to some people. and reading this book seems to push me to accept myself as the person i am even more.

so yeah. maybe this books sound interesting for some of you.

here some links: a short profile information about alice miller and also the links to the two books i did read so far and which i can highly recommend.

Profile of Alice Miller | Alice Miller en

Profile of Alice Miller Towards the reality of childhood Alice Miller received her PhD at the University of Basle and worked as a psychotherapist in Zurich for 20 years. In 1980, she decided to dedicate herself completely to her research on childhood and its tragic influence on the adult's life...

www.alice-miller.com

The Body Never Lies | Alice Miller en

The Body Never Lies The Lingering Effects of Cruel Parenting Norton, 2005 World-renowned therapist Alice Miller has devoted a lifetime to studying the cruelties inflicted on children. In The Body Never Lies Miller goes further, investigating the long-range consequences of childhood abuse on the...

www.alice-miller.com

The Drama of the Gifted Child | Alice Miller en

The Drama of the Gifted Child Basic Books, new edition, revised and updated 1997 The first publication of "The Drama of the Gifted Child" (1979) and of this book are separated by fifteen years of experience - the author's experience with her own self-therapy and with other recent therapy...

www.alice-miller.com

side note: the last third in "the body never lies" is a lot about anorexia.

 

[uselesswaste]

The body never lies - I just read the introductory and your comment, I can already relate a lot.

It is not just parental abuse, but also teachers who major in random degrees to a get a job, and work in schools and the abuse they give to the children is enormous especially in the developing countries. I think this kind of books has to be read by teachers and soon-to-be parents.

(I'll read this book, cause it looks relatable)

 

[DocNo]

The body never lies - I just read the introductory and your comment, I can already relate a lot.

It is not just parental abuse, but also teachers who major in random degrees to a get a job, and work in schools and the abuse they give to the children is enormous especially in the developing countries. I think this kind of books has to be read by teachers and soon-to-be parents.

(I'll read this book, cause it looks relatable)

yeah of course it's not only about parents. but i think a lot of our struggles are rooted in very early childhood, so parents play imo a big or even the biggest role. but i also think this is an important read for people who are working with children.

i also thought several times while reading the book if i ever go to therapy again a big criteria would be if the therapist has read the books of alice miller.

but also the experiences on this site made me realize that people with similar experiences in their lives and the ability to listen and empathize can be more helpful than most professionals.

i made more progress since registering here than the last 20 years before.

 

[brutalus]

since every relationships heirarchy was (and still is mostly) determined by physical strength, children have always been low tier members of the family. as such parents have the right to physically and mentally harm their offspring. then these offspring grow up in a fucked up manner which in turn leads them to mistreat their own kids. its an endless chain of misery.

i went to therapy based on these books. it made me feel a bit less like a piece of shit, but its like im already infected. i found out too late. if i had a child, i would probably transmit this sickness. i often surprise myself being a piece of shit like my father.

 

[DocNo]

since every relationships heirarchy was (and still is mostly) determined by physical strength, children have always been low tier members of the family. as such parents have the right to physically and mentally harm their offspring. then these offspring grow up in a fucked up manner which in turn leads them to mistreat their own kids. its an endless chain of misery.

i went to therapy based on these books. it made me feel a bit less like a piece of shit, but its like im already infected. i found out too late. if i had a child, i would probably transmit this sickness. i often surprise myself being a piece of shit like my father.

we are for sure trapped in a chain of misery since we became civilized and lost more and more our natural instincts (new thought - so have to think about that one ^^).
but i share to some extend the optimism that if we are able to solve some of our inner conflicts we can at least hand over less of this packages to the next generation.

and i think it's not only about physical abuse.
i for example was never physically abused. but the emotional "abuse" which was never intended by my mother and resulted more of her depression and anxiety disorder which is handed over for generations at the mother side of my family did lead to a lot of struggle for me.
that combined with being pretty young when she gave birth (19) and not being able to be a parent and also my father disappearing pretty quickly which left my mother alone and giving me away a lot to my grandparents in the my early childhood and some other issues did lead after a pretty manic phase in my teens and early twenties to a deep depression which i struggle for 25 years since then. but for the first time in a long time it feels that i still can solve some of this stuff and i also feel a lot of development in the last year. getting older makes it for sure not easier to solve some issues and my body also did take some hits coming from my self destructive behaviour but i still think it's possible to improve my quality of life which already happened to some point.

my overthinking got a lot less. i also don't think too much about the past anymore. i less regret things of my past.

 

[noaccount]

Thank you for sharing this here.

 

[lostautist]

She seems to have a few books that might interest me.... the third you list, but I found this synopses to be interesting:

Banished Knowledge | Alice Miller en

Banished Knowledge Facing Childhood Injuries New York, Anchor-Press, new edition 1997 Cruelty to a "bad child" will make that child into a bad adult and later create a bad world, unless an enlightened witness comes to the rescue. A child respected and taken seriously will create a different...

www.alice-miller.com

Prisoners of Childhood | Alice Miller en

Prisoners of Childhood in the UK, "The Drama of Being a Child" Basic Books, 1981 The common bond unifying the three studies in this volume is a concern with the factors operative in loss of the self and the routes leading towards the achievement of true identity. "The Drama of the Gifted Child"...

www.alice-miller.com

I don't know if she is on Audible, but I just cancelled my subscription. I had too many remaining credits and many books untouched. :(