Help Alcoholic narcissistic mum please I need comforting words

[-autisticSunflower]

Ok please I know I need to move out I am autistic and without my mum I have no help and do seriously struggle to do stuff like cooking cleaning etc. so my mum when she gets drunk starts acting like an asshole clown. She got in my face and I pushed her away she then dramatically put herself to the floor and into a ball and then pretended she was dead. She would not respond to me verbally and then when I flat slapped her face lightly and pinched her earlobe she basically jumped up and accused me of punching her three times. Now I've to get out the house in 2 days. Oh but that changed to 5 days. I am actually paying her monthly bills for which she continuously refuses a need for me to increase. She is doing this out of power and I'm fucking done with her. Everything is about her. She refuses to get any help for her behaviour and I just need some comforting words that someone believes me because she has always been an absolute bitch to me but then acts all nicey nicey in front of the family and strangers. She falls short when she is drunk though. I was abused when I was a teenager by both her and my dad because they were/are (my dad is dead now) alcoholics and aggressive and I had mental health issues and autism and I used to be barricaded in my room and was throttled on the floor and my dad kicking me out. I didn't drink, do drugs etc but was bullied at school relentlessly and therefore my parents couldn't handle me being more than sad. My mum started shagging this man from her work a few months after my dad died and I wasn't allowed to come home until 10pm because that was when he'd be gone. She always accuses me of hating her and until now I've denied it because I've felt sorry for her while being angry. Now I've just told her I hate her. She refuses to care about anyone but herself. Like I said she acts like the kindest person but it is completely superficial and I just wish I had a mum that loved me. I just wish I have someone that loved me but I'm always going to be better off dead.

 

[ctb7767]

Ditch her, find good role models, make good choices, think through your decisions carefully, learn to control your emotions and build and live your own life. She's going to drag you down with her. Not sure how bad your autism is but if it's not too bad that shouldn't be a problem.

 

[-autisticSunflower]

Ditch her, find good role models, make good choices, think through your decisions carefully, learn to control your emotions and build and live your own life. She's going to drag you down with her. Not sure how bad your autism is but if it's not too bad that shouldn't be a problem.

It's really bad with transitions, changes etc. I'm also going through resignation of my work because I was harassed by management. I do have a good job lined up and will be able to move out it's just not ideal right now and I know I need to I wish I had the guts but also I wish I were dead anyway hence me being here. Thank you for responding though it is nice to be heard. My whole family clearly don't give a shit. Aunt told me to phone the Samaritans even though I was not suicidal at that point. In fact I'd been doing better since resigning my job but speaking to my family and being told that they all know my mum has issues and I should just phone the Samaritans, well makes me feel even more alone. Fuck them all because they don't give a shit about me clearly. I just wish I could bring myself to end my own life

 

[another@]

Dm me if you want

 

[FuneralCry]

It must be so incredibly awful having to deal with someone like that, it's horrible how many people in this world just create more suffering and make the existence of others much worse. I hope that in whatever happens, you find a way to get out of that situation.

 

[wantittoendsoon]

It's really bad with transitions, changes etc. I'm also going through resignation of my work because I was harassed by management. I do have a good job lined up and will be able to move out it's just not ideal right now and I know I need to I wish I had the guts but also I wish I were dead anyway hence me being here. Thank you for responding though it is nice to be heard. My whole family clearly don't give a shit. Aunt told me to phone the Samaritans even though I was not suicidal at that point. In fact I'd been doing better since resigning my job but speaking to my family and being told that they all know my mum has issues and I should just phone the Samaritans, well makes me feel even more alone. Fuck them all because they don't give a shit about me clearly. I just wish I could bring myself to end my own life

get in touch if you need to talk

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm so sorry. I grew up with what I'm sure was a narcissistic step sibling and it was the worst experience of my life so far. It's what made me suicidal to begin with.

I completely relate to you and I know how important it is to be believed.

I agree with other posts to be honest- I think you need to get away from her as soon as you can. I really don't think there are many safe paths when dealing with Narcissists. Better to cut them off. It's just SO sad that it's your Mum though- I'm sorry.

Do you suppose there are any care services you could apply for in your area? If it's just the domestic stuff you need help with? I'm looking for work at the moment and there are loads of carer/support worker jobs in my area. Of course- I don't know how much these cost and whether they could be subsidised- but- might be worth checking out. I wish you all the best- whatever you decide to do.

 

[SadGirl]

If you look at my profile in the past, you'll see that I talk a lot about my mother being an alcoholic, today she's not anymore, but I suffer from her talking and demanding that I can't keep a job, that I don't help around the house, etc. ... So, I understand your side, we all have a difficulty, I have anxiety, depression and ADHD (which makes me lose jobs) What I say is, be independent, walk with your legs, unfortunately you will have to let your mother take her want to have peace. It's not easy, but life isn't easy anyway. Look for a job, rent a property, sort your things out, you can do it, you're capable of doing anything just like any of us here. Hugs, anything we are here for you.

 

[NoHorizon]

I'm sorry you've had to go through such horrible things and your family have treated you so badly. I believe you. I hope you're able to find a way to improve your situation and that things get better for you.

 

[vultureilse]

so sorry dude i really hope your situation improves. i can relate cause my mother is abusive as well, especially the part about her acting nice in front of other people. its so fucking awful and unfair that people like this choose to have kids