BPD_LE
The Queen of Meme
- Aug 11, 2019
- 1,576
Anyone with an alcohol problem on here? Suicidal because you're an alcohol misuser or alcohol misuser because you're suicidal?
I'm on my seventh bottle of wine since wednesday. Had a liquid breaksfast today. Pretty much drinking to ease the pain a little bit and yes it's working. I drink so seldom I would'nt call it a problem though. Was going to clean out the storage space in my apartment this weekend. Now the boxes are just sitting here in my living room. I guess that's a bit of a problem.
Why are you drinking?
Why are you drinking?
Rachel74
Enlightened
- Sep 7, 2019
- 1,716
I have been there and ended up in hospital and in an induced coma because I had pneumonia. My drinking was because of my abusive Ex.
I stopped drinking for 7 years and have the occasional Gin now but I can stop. My addiction is now benzodiazepines
I stopped drinking for 7 years and have the occasional Gin now but I can stop. My addiction is now benzodiazepines
BPD_LE
The Queen of Meme
- Aug 11, 2019
- 1,576
I drink to ease pain, I'd been sober 4 years. Now it's back. As with everything negative, it always comes back. No point staying sober now I'm at the bus stop.
It's kind of complex for me. My mental issues have been self medicated all my life with booze. I was a high functioning autistic ocd depressive alcoholic. No one ever knew! 30 years of this and bad eating have destroyed my body to the point of being suicidal. At least I don't drink anymore.
I drink to forget life and get a good sleep. It's my source of happiness even when it's from a bottle.
It has led me to every bad decision I have ever made. Ruined my life. Yet was never an alcoholic, just never great on the stuff.
Rachel74
Enlightened
- Sep 7, 2019
- 1,716
I have a black belt in alcohol misuse. Just can't face the world untranquilised. Oddly enough though I think that it has been a useful crutch in keeping me sane.
Empty Smile
The final Bell has rung. Goodbye to all.
- Jul 13, 2018
- 1,785
I drink because it's a habit, or an addiction, whatever you want to call it, but either way, I enjoy it.
It takes me out of this nightmare life I live in, even if only for a while.
It takes me out of this nightmare life I live in, even if only for a while.
Fragile
Broken
- Jul 7, 2019
- 1,496
a few years ago I was drinking heavily, there were days where I would drink 2 bottles of vodka and some wine. all because of my treatment resistant depression and anxiety, there was nothing else that soothed the pain.
then my health started to deteriorate rapidly, and it wasn't the alcohol believe it or not, it was a genetic disorder that basically affects everything about my body. I had to quit because my body couldn't tolerate alcohol no more, and by quit I mean substituting alcoholism with other addiction, so i started taking benzodiazepines and pregabalin just as the psychiatrists ordered me to, they never told me that the withdrawals were even worse.
then my health started to deteriorate rapidly, and it wasn't the alcohol believe it or not, it was a genetic disorder that basically affects everything about my body. I had to quit because my body couldn't tolerate alcohol no more, and by quit I mean substituting alcoholism with other addiction, so i started taking benzodiazepines and pregabalin just as the psychiatrists ordered me to, they never told me that the withdrawals were even worse.
Wayfaerer
JFMSUF
- Aug 21, 2019
- 1,938
Please don't be too hard on yourselves, Wayfearer and others reading this. Seems like a chicken and egg situation to me. I know I wouldn't misuse alcohol and benzos if my life was somewhat tolerable. I feel like alcohol and benzos are simultaneously keeping me alive and killing me, if that makes sense. Wishing you all the best 
.
.
BridgeJumper
The Arsonist
- Apr 7, 2019
- 1,194
Yep, Im an alco.
Ive been one ever since I discovered that alcohol soothed my depression back in 2015.
I sat on the bridge, trying to jump, and then remembered how I got drunk once and felt remarkably happy. So I took out a 100 mlo vodka bottle and downed it all. And I felt good. No longer mentally aching. No longer wanted to jump.
And thats how my daily binge drinking sessions, conducted in secret during the night so no one could see me plastered, began. Sometimes I went months without the bottle but always returned to it eventually. Started supplementing with sleeping pills and other drugs.
Now I no longer feel happy or soothed. I feel lethargic, sleepy and numb. But it progressed far beyond the need to be happy. It went from the need to feel a specific emotion to the need of having these substances in my system.
Im about 2 weeks sober now cause I put all my money in my dads bank account to prevent myself from buying more alcohol. All my drawers are filled with empty bottles and the smell of my dried up puke still lingers in my room. But hey, at least Im not level 9999 suicidal anymore.
Ive been one ever since I discovered that alcohol soothed my depression back in 2015.
I sat on the bridge, trying to jump, and then remembered how I got drunk once and felt remarkably happy. So I took out a 100 mlo vodka bottle and downed it all. And I felt good. No longer mentally aching. No longer wanted to jump.
And thats how my daily binge drinking sessions, conducted in secret during the night so no one could see me plastered, began. Sometimes I went months without the bottle but always returned to it eventually. Started supplementing with sleeping pills and other drugs.
Now I no longer feel happy or soothed. I feel lethargic, sleepy and numb. But it progressed far beyond the need to be happy. It went from the need to feel a specific emotion to the need of having these substances in my system.
Im about 2 weeks sober now cause I put all my money in my dads bank account to prevent myself from buying more alcohol. All my drawers are filled with empty bottles and the smell of my dried up puke still lingers in my room. But hey, at least Im not level 9999 suicidal anymore.
I wish I could drink, but it makes me sick even just one beer. I used to could drink, but now that I am older, alcohol effects me differently. I guess that is a good thing, because if my body could tolerate alcohol I would be an alcoholic right now, because of my extreme depression and anxiety.
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