After tens of thousand of years--maybe more than that--we still don't exactly know how it works.
This interests me quite a bit.
I was a lush for thirty years.
Quit about four years ago.
Looking back the detox phase was crazy.
I was all over the place .
I feel relatively calm now ... compared to when I just stopped.
One thing I have taken away from it is that it takes a long time to adjust to sobriety.
( That's my experience anyway . )
Also .. it feels like I reconnected with some 'drowned trauma' without the numbing resource of alcohol.
I was such a damn happy alcoholic.
People commented on it .
"No worries in the zone "
It makes me wonder as to the benefits of sobriety .
There is a lot to be said for clearer thinking though .
A bit matrixy though in the sense of Cypher desiring the flavour of the virtual steak.
It was so nice to relax into that duvet of feathery warm mothers milk chemical
blockage of the thought horrors.
So it's grey gruel on the Nebuchadnezzar and the Centinals trying to lazer their way into
my life boat ... but it is more real .
Being hung over or blotto was 'real' though , for so long .
I did want to mention about the anxiety quelling effects of alcohol.
That was the real buzz I missed .
Anxiety and depression seem to be on the same spectrum from what I have read ..
It's a tricky dance .
( "Don't worry , he won't get far on foot" , a great film about this booze nightmare .)
