Akathisia and Psychiatric Drug Damage - Partial Hanging CBT

[Frenchy222]

Hello,

My goal is to attempt CTB by partial hanging because of drug-induced akathisia and a bunch of other symptoms I have been dealing with for 7 years, 24/7.

I have spent the last month trying to hang myself. I finally succeeded in "testing" partial hanging for the 100th time and managed to make myself go unconscious within seconds; however, I found myself involuntarily getting up while I was swinging around on my feet.

It was a very crazy experience. Didn't know where I was, who I was, or what I was doing for a few seconds.

My question is. Is this normal for the body to do this? How can I prevent this?

Should I make the rope shorter? I had the rope on a tree branch, and I leaned into it like "the choking game" video.

I appreciate any suggestions. I have tried full hanging, but the pain in my neck muscles and windpipe makes it completely unbearable. I can't imagine putting my full weight.

 

[MissAbyss]

Hello, fellow sufferer of Akathisia.
I can't even imagine that you pulled this off for 7 years. My heart goes out to you!

Yes, I read more posts from people were they involuntarily stood up again, probably unconsciously activated by survival instinct, it's hard to prevent.That is why partial hanging is also perceived as more difficult then full suspension hanging.

I don't give suggestions to others, only sharing my idea of how I would handle it myself.
I would probably tie my ankles and/or legs together using tiewraps and/or duct tape, to prevent from getting up again.

Maybe, someone else has better advice for you.

Goodluck, and I hope you find peace

 

[hell toupee]

If you read a few of the studies that were posted in the hanging megathread, particularly the one where 8 online videos of suicidal hangings as well as accidental auto erotic asphyxiation deaths, what emerged was after consciousness was lost, the scientists witnessed the people involuntarily straightening their legs and arms, then retracting them. I believe this is why there were a few people in that thread claiming to have fallen unconscious, and then inexplicably stood up and released the pressure.

 

[Frenchy222]

If you read a few of the studies that were posted in the hanging megathread, particularly the one where 8 online videos of suicidal hangings as well as accidental auto erotic asphyxiation deaths, what emerged was after consciousness was lost, the scientists witnessed the people involuntarily straightening their legs and arms, then retracting them. I believe this is why there were a few people in that thread claiming to have fallen unconscious, and then inexplicably stood up and released the pressure.

Thank you. Is there any way to prevent the standing up and releasing the pressure?

Hello, fellow sufferer of Akathisia.
I can't even imagine that you pulled this off for 7 years. My heart goes out to you!

Yes, I read more posts from people were they involuntarily stood up again, probably unconsciously activated by survival instinct, it's hard to prevent.That is why partial hanging is also perceived as more difficult then full suspension hanging.

I don't give suggestions to others, only sharing my idea of how I would handle it myself.
I would probably tie my ankles and/or legs together using tiewraps and/or duct tape, to prevent from getting up again.

Maybe, someone else has better advice for you.

Goodluck, and I hope you find peace

I'm sorry to hear your dealing with akathisia too. It's brutal.

Thanks for the suggestions. I will probably try that next if I can build the courage.

My concern is the only place I can pass out and hit my carteroids is putting the rope under my Adam's apple. But when I go unconscious it might move around and come lose. Last thing I need it to be even more brain damaged from a failed attempt.

What is your planned method?

 

[idiotmother]

Which med(s) injured you?

 

[claracatchingthebus]

Hello,

My goal is to attempt CTB by partial hanging because of drug-induced akathisia and a bunch of other symptoms I have been dealing with for 7 years, 24/7.

I have spent the last month trying to hang myself. I finally succeeded in "testing" partial hanging for the 100th time and managed to make myself go unconscious within seconds; however, I found myself involuntarily getting up while I was swinging around on my feet.

It was a very crazy experience. Didn't know where I was, who I was, or what I was doing for a few seconds.

My question is. Is this normal for the body to do this? How can I prevent this?

Should I make the rope shorter? I had the rope on a tree branch, and I leaned into it like "the choking game" video.

I appreciate any suggestions. I have tried full hanging, but the pain in my neck muscles and windpipe makes it completely unbearable. I can't imagine putting my full weight.

i am not suggesting the following.

i stopped taking psych meds. I used to have terrible twitching, feelings of inner restlessness. it was just hell. there is no hell quite like psych med hell because of the kind supposed non-malevolence of the gaslighting. "Oh, take these they'll help... Oh you'll feel worse and you're twitching? Well... try these... Oh you're feeling even worse? Well, you seem to be doing a lot better... You feel worse and don't want to be around you're saying... Well, last week you said you felt okay. The medications are making you better. The problem is that because of your illness, you lack insight and don't know how great they make you feel."

It was just never-ending misery for me and the mild symptom reduction wasn't worth the side-effects or someone pushing higher and higher doses and feeling like I had no control. So I stopped. Cold fucking turkey.

I would not do that by the way. I am also on sanctioned suicide, so I am not a model of happy living. But I am grateful to not shake and have feelings like worms are inside of me.

Some of the tardive symptoms that I thought wouldn't go away seem to reduce when I started exercising more, working, and just doing things.

That being said, most people who stop meds have really bad outcomes, and likely my current life is not considered a good outcome, but at least it feels honest. You will never get a doctor to help you get off meds. There are organizations, there are ways of doing it, it's all risky. And also telling you this when you are this suicidal is probably "bad" because the conventional wisdom would be "call 988, get hospitalized, and take even more meds." but... i get where you're coming from.

again, that is not a suggestion or medical advice for you or anyone to stop taking meds. if you need medical advice, call 988 and get involuntarily hospitalized and then billed a huge amount later, as chatgpt always says.

there's also some doctors out there who are less aggressive with meds, but for me i dealt with enough who were incredibly aggressive and mean that i just never want to deal with this shit again.

do you take medications now? if you stopped, when did you stop? what gave you the akathesia? if you had a way to get rid of the akathesia, would you be okay with how things are or do you think you would still feel bad?

sorry you are here.

 

[AreWeWinning]

I have spent the last month trying to hang myself. I finally succeeded in "testing" partial hanging for the 100th time and managed to make myself go unconscious within seconds; however, I found myself involuntarily getting up while I was swinging around on my feet.

It was a very crazy experience. Didn't know where I was, who I was, or what I was doing for a few seconds.

My question is. Is this normal for the body to do this? How can I prevent this?

Is there any way to prevent the standing up and releasing the pressure?

These are called the decerebrate and decorticate rigidity stages where arm and leg muscles flex involuntarily due to disruptions in brain activity. It always happens shortly (about 10 seconds) after losing consciousness and before the muscles go completely flaccid. There is no way to stop it or prevent it.

However, based on your description, I'm not sure this is what's happening in your case, because these phases only start after you've been fully unconscious for several seconds. Just by the way you describe your experiments as "testing", I think you just simply stand up while still in a semi-conscious or semi-unconscious state, and you don't actually fully lose consciousness.

That is not to say that you can't regain consciousness in partial hanging during the decerebrate and decorticate rigidity stages. I'm just saying that I don't think this is what's happening if these are just tests and not actual attempts.

Should I make the rope shorter? I had the rope on a tree branch, and I leaned into it like "the choking game" video.

Yeah, you can make the rope shorter and do full suspension. Or you could also tie your feet or legs somehow (I'm not sure how) in order to prevent them from straightening, but what would be the difference? You'd just be doing full or semi-full suspension at a lower height, only in a more complicated way. Using a higher anchor point or a shorter rope is simpler.

 

[Freedomm]

God I feel so sorry for you. I experienced akathisia from taking 30mg metoclopramide and wanted to jump out the window from unbearable panic for 12 hours.

 

[unluckysadness]

It's so cruel. You should have access to euthanasia. I struggle with a rare shitty disease too since 5 years so I feel you. Be in constant pain / anxiety is not a life. I hope you'll find relief

 

[Frenchy222]

T

These are called the decerebrate and decorticate rigidity stages where arm and leg muscles flex involuntarily due to disruptions in brain activity. It always happens shortly (about 10 seconds) after losing consciousness and before the muscles go completely flaccid. There is no way to stop it or prevent it.

However, based on your description, I'm not sure this is what's happening in your case, because these phases only start after you've been fully unconscious for several seconds. Just by the way you describe your experiments as "testing", I think you just simply stand up while still in a semi-conscious or semi-unconscious state, and you don't actually fully lose consciousness.

That is not to say that you can't regain consciousness in partial hanging during the decerebrate and decorticate rigidity stages. I'm just saying that I don't think this is what's happening if these are just tests and not actual attempts.



Yeah, you can make the rope shorter and do full suspension. Or you could also tie your feet or legs somehow (I'm not sure how) in order to prevent them from straightening, but what would be the difference? You'd just be doing full or semi-full suspension at a lower height, only in a more complicated way. Using a higher anchor point or a shorter rope is simpler.

thank you for your detailed response.

I've tried full hanging a few times but all it has done is severely damaged my neck muscles and I feel like I wouldn't pass out quickly and just be suffocating in agony.

The only place I can get myself to pass out is by putting the rope under my Adam's apple.

If I am semi unconscious and standing up involuntarily then should I try and lean into it when coming around.

I had no idea it would work that time around so maybe if I have more intention of actually dying I can get it to work.

 

[hell toupee]

Thank you. Is there any way to prevent the standing up and releasing the pressure?

I'm sorry to hear your dealing with akathisia too. It's brutal.

Thanks for the suggestions. I will probably try that next if I can build the courage.

My concern is the only place I can pass out and hit my carteroids is putting the rope under my Adam's apple. But when I go unconscious it might move around and come lose. Last thing I need it to be even more brain damaged from a failed attempt.

What is your planned method?

I'm only going by the posted study in that megathread, but given the movements were involuntary, I don't think there is any way to prevent that other than using some kind of medications or something - maybe alcohol?

I made a thread on the main page as to my opinion why partial hangings are so finicky. Basically, you are relying on very precise placement to get the carotid arteries occluded - which is why so many people have problems getting knot and rope placement right. Any movement, whether it's SI, or involuntary after you lose consciousness, could disrupt that precise placement of blocking the carotid arteries. You might want to look at that thread.