Age

[Laststop]

I see a lot of discussions here about the relevance of age. I'm pushing 50, and like a lot of the older members have mentioned, it does wear on you to have your issues torment you for so long. But, for me anyways, it's something else. I remember my grandmother who I loved so much tell me once that she didn't feel like an 80 plus year old woman. In her mind, she said, she was still a little girl. I took it as something cute, and filed it away. Now, years later, I get it. Though I'm tired and damaged in so many ways, inside I'm a young boy that life made grow into a man unwillingly.

And as I've gotten older I've had to deal with things in my life, and this world we live in. My body is falling apart. I've gone threw things...and see where I'm going...and now have thought to look over my shoulder and see everything that's made me who I am shed off in bits and pieces as they've died and crumbled away. Leaving me standing here. That boy inside that just wants to eat cereal, watch cartoons, play 8 bit video games, read comic books, and watch TV. My worries Capt'n Crunch, or Fruity Pebbles? Fall Guy, or Riptide? Mad Magazine, or Savage Sword of Conan?Heather Thomas or Phoebe Cates? Standing here in a body I don't recognize, tired by cares I feel like I shouldn't have, with the things from the past I loved gone, and nothing for me in the future.

 

[woxihuanni]

Yup, nobody really grows up, maybe except really shallow people. Often I perceive people as little boys/girls, of course including myself. to the boy.

 

[Elias]

I'm 25 and I've had the same thoughts. I feel like I stopped evolving mentally after 12 years old. I'm still a little boy, I wanna go to space, explore the world, play all the games, eat unhealthy stuff and ride my motorcycle like it's my old bike. I've never stopped being curious about the deep questions of the universe, nature, etc. But the "grown up" stuff that was force upon me by this life quickly erased any trace of all the qualitied of that little boy, and I'm stuck with the maturity of a child with the responsibilities of an adult. I really do suffer from it, and it might explain why I'm not equipped with the proper mental tools to figure out what I want to do in this life and how to recover from the mental torture of my past trauma. I often think about the little boy I was and how he must be disappointed that I failed him that much.

 

[Pony]

I often think about the little boy I was and how he must be disappointed that I failed him that much.

Im only 20 and feel like Ive disappointed my past self :/

 

[woxihuanni]

Im only 20 and feel like Ive disappointed my past self :/

All kids would be disappointed by their grown up selves, it is just about universal I'd say.

 

[blanketyblk]

Both my mum and dad use to say when they where in their 70's that while they are feeling old. there mind is still as active as it was when they where in their 20's again i use to just think thats cute. but as i near that age now. i see what they mean. it's quite extraordinary. your mind still wants to what it was doing in your 20's even though you know your body just won't handle it.

I didn't realize it was actually a thing until it start to happen to you..

 

[Mr2005]

I get it. When I was coming up to eighteen I developed a problem that could and should have been dealt with. The only reason I can find that it wasn't was that I wasn't ready to grow up. I'm now thirty three and am not ready to get old. It went so fast and I never lived it. I can't look forward because it just gets further away from the things I want.

 

[sleepy dog]

My worries Capt'n Crunch, or Fruity Pebbles? Fall Guy, or Riptide? Mad Magazine, or Savage Sword of Conan?Heather Thomas or Phoebe Cates?

Captain Crunch, Fall Guy, Mad Magazine, Phoebe Cates

 

[Trainwreck]

I completely understand what all of you have said above. Mentally, I feel like I'm no more than a teenager. I've always chocked it up to missing all the normal adult milestones (I've been sick since I was a teen). I see my old classmates on Facebook with their kids going off to college, and some are already grandparents, and I think how is this even freaking possible? God I miss being a care free little kid!

And ditto on the Captain Crunch, make mine peanut butter.

 

[ThatIsTheQuestion]

I'm 43 and I feel like a 12-year-old boy in the body of an 88-year-old man. And I know I'm nearing the day when I'll have to cut the difference. I hear you.

 

[blanketyblk]

Captain Crunch, Fall Guy, Mad Magazine, Phoebe Cates

Phoebe Cates *puuurr* :-0

 

[snorli]

This, a hundred times this. Imho, aging is one of nature's cruelest jokes.

 

[White_Room293]

I'm 19 and apparently am all grown up now. I'm confused by all of this and often just want it to stop forever but my meds have made me feel it less often and to a less extent in a way. The thoughts or ideas never really go away I think.

 

[Rachel74]

I'm 44 and most of my adult life as been taken over by bipolar.

 

[k75]

I often think about this. It's weird, because while obviously I've matured and can function as an adult, the core of me still feels young. I collect toys, comic books, play video games, watch cartoons... the only real difference as I age is now I have good taste and can afford the expensive stuff. LOL

Anyway, I'm not sure I'll ever "grow up" and I'm not sure I want to. I'm 40.

 

[Strangeasangels]

I see a lot of discussions here about the relevance of age. I'm pushing 50, and like a lot of the older members have mentioned, it does wear on you to have your issues torment you for so long. But, for me anyways, it's something else. I remember my grandmother who I loved so much tell me once that she didn't feel like an 80 plus year old woman. In her mind, she said, she was still a little girl. I took it as something cute, and filed it away. Now, years later, I get it. Though I'm tired and damaged in so many ways, inside I'm a young boy that life made grow into a man unwillingly.

And as I've gotten older I've had to deal with things in my life, and this world we live in. My body is falling apart. I've gone threw things...and see where I'm going...and now have thought to look over my shoulder and see everything that's made me who I am shed off in bits and pieces as they've died and crumbled away. Leaving me standing here. That boy inside that just wants to eat cereal, watch cartoons, play 8 bit video games, read comic books, and watch TV. My worries Capt'n Crunch, or Fruity Pebbles? Fall Guy, or Riptide? Mad Magazine, or Savage Sword of Conan?Heather Thomas or Phoebe Cates? Standing here in a body I don't recognize, tired by cares I feel like I shouldn't have, with the things from the past I loved gone, and nothing for me in the future.

I am 52 and i completely understand. I just lost my job and ageism is something i cannot deal with... that and the pain of being screwed over by my employers who i trusted and who assured me my role and status would not change.

 

[Dawn0071111]

7 year old trapped in the body of 40 year old woman. Its horrible. Will put myself out of misery soon.