Venting After one hell of a battle, my mum died.

[Funkbunny]

Hey all. It's been a while.

I'd been carer for my mum for a few years. She had parkinsons and dementia. I left my job to care full time for her, I'm glad I did, I wouldn't change that if I could.

To keep it short, she got ill suddenly, off to hospital. I got a call at 3.30am that it wasn't looking good. I knew. I held her, said what I needed to say, told her how much I loved her. I saw her take her last breath, I saw her last heartbeat.

That's when my heart broke and my world stopped turning. I'm now alone. There is no future. The only reason I'm still here is our 2 dogs. If it weren't for them, I would have followed mum that same morning.

She brought me in to the world, she gave me the greatest gift of being with her as she left. I know, I feel my time is nearly here. I don't feel sad anymore. I don't feel scared. I feel numb. Totally numb and empty.

My focus is now only to rehome our dogs. Then it's game over.

 

[hatelife]

im so sorry for your loss :(

 

[Soul]

Love and light to her, and to you x

 

[EmptyArms]

I'm so sorry for your loss. It sounds like you devoted yourself completely to the care of your mum. Of course you are devastated by the loss of her. Please accept my heartfelt condolences.

 

[Shero]

You are a child every parent would wish for. My condolences, i hope it was peaceful.

 

[TheDevilsAngel]

I'm so sorry for your loss

 

[sleepy dog]

Hey all. It's been a while.

I'd been carer for my mum for a few years. She had parkinsons and dementia. I left my job to care full time for her, I'm glad I did, I wouldn't change that if I could.

To keep it short, she got ill suddenly, off to hospital. I got a call at 3.30am that it wasn't looking good. I knew. I held her, said what I needed to say, told her how much I loved her. I saw her take her last breath, I saw her last heartbeat.

That's when my heart broke and my world stopped turning. I'm now alone. There is no future. The only reason I'm still here is our 2 dogs. If it weren't for them, I would have followed mum that same morning.

She brought me in to the world, she gave me the greatest gift of being with her as she left. I know, I feel my time is nearly here. I don't feel sad anymore. I don't feel scared. I feel numb. Totally numb and empty.

My focus is now only to rehome our dogs. Then it's game over.

Please realize you were fortunate to have experienced that, and so was she. Maybe that makes you feel better.

 

[cosmicpixiedust]

I'm so very sorry for your loss, losing a parent is always very hard especially when you have cared for them. Sending you all of the love and light that I can muster. She is at peace now.

 

[Jean4]

I am so sorry. I can only imagine your pain because I did not have a relationship with my parents.

Cherish the memories you had with your mother. Is appears as if you had a wonderful relationship with you mother.

Take care and be kind to yourself. Your mother was very lucky to have you.

 

[Broken Chimera]

I'm so sorry for your loss. We're here for you if you want to talk.

 

[Skyview]

I know what's it like , the emptiness , the numbness, feel hollow inside , doesn't matter when the tears flow there is still that feeling of numbness. Part of you has been ripped away , they say time is a great healer and no it's not , you always remember.
I can't help you but I can give you a hug , a warm hug .
Your mother is free from Parkinson's and dementia and before those took hold your mum was an amazing woman , you said so yourself "the gift of being with her".

 

[UpandDownPrincess]

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Hopefully knowing that your mother is free of her troubles is something to cling to.

You have been through a terrible ordeal. Be gentle with yourself.

((hugs))

 

[zeroambition]

I'm so sorry for your loss.. Love and light to you both

 

[Emily123]

it is one of the posts that I read here and made me cry . I am sorry for you Mom . I hope you can find happiness in your life . Kiss your dogs behalf of me .

 

[Rena rossy]

I am so sorry for your loss, but I think your mother appreciated every second you spend with her, taking care of care and providing her all the love you showed her.

 

[Donk]

sorry for your lost. i lost my mother to cancer and i know the pain you feeling right now. stay strong

 

[randomz]

I am really sorry for your loss.
Please stand strong, because You CTB-ing will only rid this world of one loving and caring person, who can help other people feel better and give them the love they need.

 

[LexyCnthnt]

I'm so sorry, funkbunny. I've lost a good friend of mine, for about 3 weeks by suicide. I know the struggle. Even if it is something different with the own mother, I guess. I think of you!

 

[k75]

I'm so sorry you lost your mom.

 

[Thereisnothing]

Hey all. It's been a while.

I'd been carer for my mum for a few years. She had parkinsons and dementia. I left my job to care full time for her, I'm glad I did, I wouldn't change that if I could.

To keep it short, she got ill suddenly, off to hospital. I got a call at 3.30am that it wasn't looking good. I knew. I held her, said what I needed to say, told her how much I loved her. I saw her take her last breath, I saw her last heartbeat.

That's when my heart broke and my world stopped turning. I'm now alone. There is no future. The only reason I'm still here is our 2 dogs. If it weren't for them, I would have followed mum that same morning.

She brought me in to the world, she gave me the greatest gift of being with her as she left. I know, I feel my time is nearly here. I don't feel sad anymore. I don't feel scared. I feel numb. Totally numb and empty.

My focus is now only to rehome our dogs. Then it's game over.

Hello there, I can totally understand how it is to feel numb and empty. I lost my precious Father before Christmas and I have the exact same going on right now. I have noone, he was only family that cared about me and loved me, lost mum 7 years ago and dad and I have been one anothers rock. I have siblings who are estranged and who are now trying to cause problems, which dont need on top of this pain and emptiness.
I was there when dad passed and that morning my world stopped and ended, I wanted to beg the doctors to put me out of my misery.

I am not wishing to live/exist anymore, I have many health problems which makes life very hard to cope with as it is, but now alone in the world, its awful. However I am scared to take my life, wouldn't know what was best way and I think that mum and dad gave me the gift of life and if I did that, would they think I didn't appreciate them. They obviously knew I loved and cared for them as much as they did me, they were everything to me, but every time I think I must end my suffering I cant. Every second is hard and not sure how to get through them, do I stay or do I go. What if I tried and ended up worse off than am now, failed attempt leave me with even more health issues. I am not religious, but spiritual and dont even know if suicide is right or wrong for my beliefs I cant make my mind up. I couldn't risk if it happened to be wrong and not finding peace and going to spirit world. I would like to think those who end their lives have the same journey as everyone who dies naturally, but for me personally the risk is so high, that and also not knowing what way to do it.

I am here if you need someone to talk to or share. xx

 

[lymbo]

so sorry to hear about your mom

 

[Berlin76]

Hey all. It's been a while.

I'd been carer for my mum for a few years. She had parkinsons and dementia. I left my job to care full time for her, I'm glad I did, I wouldn't change that if I could.

To keep it short, she got ill suddenly, off to hospital. I got a call at 3.30am that it wasn't looking good. I knew. I held her, said what I needed to say, told her how much I loved her. I saw her take her last breath, I saw her last heartbeat.

That's when my heart broke and my world stopped turning. I'm now alone. There is no future. The only reason I'm still here is our 2 dogs. If it weren't for them, I would have followed mum that same morning.

She brought me in to the world, she gave me the greatest gift of being with her as she left. I know, I feel my time is nearly here. I don't feel sad anymore. I don't feel scared. I feel numb. Totally numb and empty.

My focus is now only to rehome our dogs. Then it's game over.

Sorry for your loss.

 

[Readytogo#Broken]

Hey all. It's been a while.

I'd been carer for my mum for a few years. She had parkinsons and dementia. I left my job to care full time for her, I'm glad I did, I wouldn't change that if I could.

To keep it short, she got ill suddenly, off to hospital. I got a call at 3.30am that it wasn't looking good. I knew. I held her, said what I needed to say, told her how much I loved her. I saw her take her last breath, I saw her last heartbeat.

That's when my heart broke and my world stopped turning. I'm now alone. There is no future. The only reason I'm still here is our 2 dogs. If it weren't for them, I would have followed mum that same morning.

She brought me in to the world, she gave me the greatest gift of being with her as she left. I know, I feel my time is nearly here. I don't feel sad anymore. I don't feel scared. I feel numb. Totally numb and empty.

My focus is now only to rehome our dogs. Then it's game over.

I feel your pain you obs cared for your mum deeply I wish you peace maybe think on things as I can deffo testify rash quick descisons are no good, I hope you find peace

 

[Deleted member 1465]

Hey all. It's been a while.

I'd been carer for my mum for a few years. She had parkinsons and dementia. I left my job to care full time for her, I'm glad I did, I wouldn't change that if I could.

To keep it short, she got ill suddenly, off to hospital. I got a call at 3.30am that it wasn't looking good. I knew. I held her, said what I needed to say, told her how much I loved her. I saw her take her last breath, I saw her last heartbeat.

That's when my heart broke and my world stopped turning. I'm now alone. There is no future. The only reason I'm still here is our 2 dogs. If it weren't for them, I would have followed mum that same morning.

She brought me in to the world, she gave me the greatest gift of being with her as she left. I know, I feel my time is nearly here. I don't feel sad anymore. I don't feel scared. I feel numb. Totally numb and empty.

My focus is now only to rehome our dogs. Then it's game over.

I'm so sorry to hear that. I lost my mum to dementia after a fall several years ago. She had a slow decline at the end and suffered terribly. She was the toughest most stubborn person I ever knew but dementia ruined her. I still miss her. Grief does pass. I hope you can hang on and get through this.

 

[Funkbunny]

You are a child every parent would wish for. My condolences, i hope it was peaceful.

Thank you. It was.

I'm so sorry to hear that. I lost my mum to dementia after a fall several years ago. She had a slow decline at the end and suffered terribly. She was the toughest most stubborn person I ever knew but dementia ruined her. I still miss her. Grief does pass. I hope you can hang on and get through this.

I'm so sorry. It's a nasty horrible disease.

Please realize you were fortunate to have experienced that, and so was she. Maybe that makes you feel better.

100% it was a blessing.

 

[Time]

Sorry for your loss, Funkbunny.

 

[OrangeLounge]

I lost my mom in my senior year about a year ago. I am so, so sorry for your loss.
You are incredibly strong to have taken care of her, being a caregiver is incredibly hard. I'm keeping you in my thoughts.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

Hey all. It's been a while.

I'd been carer for my mum for a few years. She had parkinsons and dementia. I left my job to care full time for her, I'm glad I did, I wouldn't change that if I could.

To keep it short, she got ill suddenly, off to hospital. I got a call at 3.30am that it wasn't looking good. I knew. I held her, said what I needed to say, told her how much I loved her. I saw her take her last breath, I saw her last heartbeat.

That's when my heart broke and my world stopped turning. I'm now alone. There is no future. The only reason I'm still here is our 2 dogs. If it weren't for them, I would have followed mum that same morning.

She brought me in to the world, she gave me the greatest gift of being with her as she left. I know, I feel my time is nearly here. I don't feel sad anymore. I don't feel scared. I feel numb. Totally numb and empty.

My focus is now only to rehome our dogs. Then it's game over.

I have no words, so sorry for your lost. My condolences