NefariousWish

NefariousWish

Member
Apr 30, 2020
69
The View From Halfway Down was a very unsettling poem.
 
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Kamiotesoro

Kamiotesoro

✌️
Apr 27, 2020
45
The View From Halfway Down was a very unsettling poem.
I've read the poem for the first time after seeing you post and I'd say it's truly terrifying. Jumping imo is one of the most scary ways of how to CTB because you're still conscious to process things yet you've got no way to back out.
 
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NefariousWish

NefariousWish

Member
Apr 30, 2020
69
I've read the poem for the first time after seeing you post and I'd say it's truly terrifying. Jumping imo is one of the most scary ways of how to CTB because you're still conscious to process things yet you've got no way to back out.
Watch the YouTube clip of the poem. The delivery is key.

Problem is it's a great method if you're high enough and it's a straight drop. Other methods can fail badly.
 
a.n.kirillov

a.n.kirillov

velle non discitur
Nov 17, 2019
1,831
Throwing out a guess,
I'd say, most likely yes

Since falling down
From startling heights
T'does not garner
much delight
in my imaginations eyes.

What terror, surely
must be stricken by
the wingless ape
Who can not fly
or glide to land
On solid ground or trees nearby,
but uttering his last goodbye
Towards the earth falls
From the sky.









Sorry for bad poetry
 
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Kamiotesoro

Kamiotesoro

✌️
Apr 27, 2020
45
Watch the YouTube clip of the poem. The delivery is key.

Problem is it's a great method if you're high enough and it's a straight drop. Other methods can fail badly.
OH HOLY MOLY. That made me tear up:aw: you're absolutely true that the passion with which the character delivers the poem is key. Talking about the method in an of itself it's true that it's fairly reliable)
 
NefariousWish

NefariousWish

Member
Apr 30, 2020
69
OH HOLY MOLY. That made me tear up:aw: you're absolutely true that the passion with which the character delivers the poem is key. Talking about the method in an of itself it's true that it's fairly reliable)
My avatar image is of a guy from the documentary "The Bridge." He fell back and didn't fight it. He did walk the Golden Gate Bridge multiple times though before finally jumping.
 
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Mistake of Nature

Mistake of Nature

A shadow suspended on dust
Mar 30, 2020
159
I love Bojack Horseman, and this episode in particular. The poem/performance of the poem captures the ambivalence some of us feel about CTB. The poem starts with the longing to end one's pain, the seduction of death, and the idea of death bringing peace and calmness. But then the narrator's SI kicks in, and we experience the panic and terror of making an irreversible decision and having no way to stop our incoming death, no matter how hard we kick and scream or beg and plead.

This is why I haven't been able to CTB. What will I feel or think during the time between using a particular CTB method and unconsciousness/death? What if my last moments are of intense fear, terror, and panic?
 
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Aliali1992

Aliali1992

We only live once..i hope
Jan 3, 2020
155
This and the aftermath of surviving is why jumping is down in my list
 
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toomuchtimetodie

"to be overly conscious is a sickness"
Mar 13, 2020
296
I've always thought I bet as you actually jump you get a shit show of how different your life could have been and answers to your problems... Life likes to fuck with you like that.
That's why people using the method I try to ask if they've exhausted trying to recover and they definitely have no hope.
 
a.n.kirillov

a.n.kirillov

velle non discitur
Nov 17, 2019
1,831
If you pick a good spot, there is no surviving.
Not true

Shooting, jumping, railway, gas etc are all bad methods because in case of survival (even if it is only 1 percent or 0.1 percent) you will be disfigured and your life will suck, while hanging is certain and good OD methods have no long term consequences (N, SN).

You could count gas with hanging because both can be executed in such a way as to be nearly 100 percent successful.
 
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NefariousWish

NefariousWish

Member
Apr 30, 2020
69
Not true

Shooting, jumping, railway, gas etc are all bad methods because in case of survival (even if it is only 1 percent or 0.1 percent) you will be disfigured and your life will suck, while hanging is certain and good OD methods have no long term consequences (N, SN).

You could count gas with hanging because both can be executed in such a way as to be nearly 100 percent successful.
WRONG

If you jump from 250ft or more with no interference (ex. bushes, people, cars, sides of a cliff, drag from a parachute or clothing) then you'll die instantaneously if you don't land on your feet.

Hanging is a terrible method. If you're caught right before you die, then you will be paralyzed and brain damaged. Also, when you go unconscious, your body will flail violently which can fuck up the noose resulting in possible brain damage.
 
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Tintypographer

Tintypographer

I am done as of 4-21-2023. Somewhere I am no more
Apr 29, 2020
471
My avatar image is of a guy from the documentary "The Bridge." He fell back and didn't fight it. He did walk the Golden Gate Bridge multiple times though before finally jumping.
I watch that video of the Golden gate bridge suicides very regularly. They take it down but it comes back. You can find it with different songs playing. Several people just peacefully step off. I know it's a few seconds of drop and a hard landing but that's it. The consciousness has to disappear instantly from blunt force trauma especially if you land flat.

Flights there are so cheap right now I imagine traveling there on my own "private" covid plane, taking an Uber, walking out and then stepping off the chord.
 
gus.nixon

gus.nixon

and now we rise and we are everywhere
Apr 19, 2020
309
I've driven across the Golden Gate Bridge countless times over the years. It truly is a beautiful and serene spot. Looking into the bay with Alcatraz sitting there in all its glory is magnificent. I can understand why it's such a popular spot to ctb.

I spend the afternoon in cars
I sit in traffic jams for hours
Don't push me, I am not ok

The sky is blue most every day
The lemons grow like tumors
They are tiny suns infused with sour

Lonely as a cloud
In the Golden State
The coldest winter that I ever saw
Was the summer that I spent

The only substance is the fog
And it hides all that has gone wrong
Can't see a thing inside the maze

There is a bridge adored and famed
The Golden spine of engineering
Whose back is heavy with my weight

Lonely as a cloud
In the Golden State
The coldest winter that I ever saw
Was the summer that I spent

Be still this old heart
Be still this old skin
Drink your last drink
Sin your last sin

Sing your last song
About the beginning
Sing it out loud
So the people can hear, let's go

Be still this sad day
Be still this sad year
Hope your last hope
Fear your last fear

You're not the only one
You're not the only one
You're not the only one
You're not the only one, let's go

My falling shape will draw a line
Between the blue of sea and sky
I'm not a bird, I'm not a plane

I took a taxi to the Gate
I will not go to school again
Four seconds was the longest wait

Four seconds was the longest wait
Four seconds was the longest wait
Four seconds was the longest wait
Four seconds was the longest
 
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a.n.kirillov

a.n.kirillov

velle non discitur
Nov 17, 2019
1,831
WRONG

If you jump from 250ft or more with no interference (ex. bushes, people, cars, sides of a cliff, drag from a parachute or clothing) then you'll die instantaneously if you don't land on your feet.

Hanging is a terrible method. If you're caught right before you die, then you will be paralyzed and brain damaged. Also, when you go unconscious, your body will flail violently which can fuck up the noose resulting in possible brain damage.
But whether or not I can be discovered or the rope is strong enough are things I have full control over. Heck, I could use a rope that's used for lifting cars and shit with it and practice tying nooses all I want.

But wind I can not control. Have you ever jumped from a height? how can you be sure you won't land on your feet?
.
I get the impression that people often want to fail with hanging when they ask whether fixing their tie to a plastic pull up bar will be sufficient. That's not what I mean by correct execution of the hanging method.
 
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NefariousWish

NefariousWish

Member
Apr 30, 2020
69
I watch that video of the Golden gate bridge suicides very regularly. They take it down but it comes back. You can find it with different songs playing. Several people just peacefully step off. I know it's a few seconds of drop and a hard landing but that's it. The consciousness has to disappear instantly from blunt force trauma especially if you land flat.

Flights there are so cheap right now I imagine traveling there on my own "private" covid plane, taking an Uber, walking out and then stepping off the chord.
It's not so easy. I went to the Golden Gate Bridge to see if I could do it years ago. I couldn't. It was like there was an invisible wall there. I felt that going over the rail was breaking the rules like in a video game where you can't walk through a mountain.
But whether or not I can be discovered or the rope is strong enough are things I have full control over. Heck, I could use a rope that's used for lifting cars and shit with it and practice tying nooses all I want.

But wind I can not control. Have you ever jumped from a height? how can you be sure you won't land on your feet?
.
I get the impression that people often want to fail with hanging when they ask whether fixing their tie to a plastic pull up bar will be sufficient. That's not what I mean by correct execution of the hanging method.
You can't control if you're discovered unless you live alone in your own home and are the only one with keys to get in.

That's why it's important to jump as high as you can. My spot is almost 1000 ft high. It won't matter if I land on my feet. Wind could be a problem in that I won't fall straight down. I often look online at the wind speed of the place I've chosen.
 
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Tintypographer

Tintypographer

I am done as of 4-21-2023. Somewhere I am no more
Apr 29, 2020
471
I feel like I could do it. I've read books on it, watched so many videos, I know i would walk like a tourist or person just crossing the bridge then when I got to a decent high spot I would jump over the rail and fall flailing trying to land flat. I might do it at night so it would be harder to even know I had done it.
 
NefariousWish

NefariousWish

Member
Apr 30, 2020
69
I feel like I could do it. I've read books on it, watched so many videos, I know i would walk like a tourist or person just crossing the bridge then when I got to a decent high spot I would jump over the rail and fall flailing trying to land flat. I might do it at night so it would be harder to even know I had done it.
Falling at night is scary. It's like falling into evil. Darkness Falls
 
Tintypographer

Tintypographer

I am done as of 4-21-2023. Somewhere I am no more
Apr 29, 2020
471
Falling at night is scary. It's like falling into evil. Darkness Falls
Yeah, it might be. I used to be a diver back in high school on both swimming and diving and I got used to the rush of jumping from diving platforms and then later for fun from low cliffs and big rocks at swimming holes. I loved the feel of the rush of the air passing by. I don't think the darkness would scare me. Honest, I'd be most afraid of jumping and not falling flat, rather entering the water feet first and possibly surviving. I want to feel the rush, see the San Francisco city lights and then a smack that I only feel for a micro moment and I am knocked unconscious then the massive internal trauma sets in with death a little while later. The worst thing for me would be consciousness and then dying of drowning.
 
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I

I’mDone

Experienced
Mar 22, 2020
261
Not true

Shooting, jumping, railway, gas etc are all bad methods because in case of survival (even if it is only 1 percent or 0.1 percent) you will be disfigured and your life will suck, while hanging is certain and good OD methods have no long term consequences (N, SN).

You could count gas with hanging because both can be executed in such a way as to be nearly 100 percent successful.

I'm not sure how true that is. A jump from high and sheer enough cliff into the sea is guaranteed not survivable. Likewise onto hard ground. It's a case of picking the right place.
 
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J

jaroz

Member
Nov 5, 2019
49
I love Bojack Horseman, and this episode in particular. The poem/performance of the poem captures the ambivalence some of us feel about CTB. The poem starts with the longing to end one's pain, the seduction of death, and the idea of death bringing peace and calmness. But then the narrator's SI kicks in, and we experience the panic and terror of making an irreversible decision and having no way to stop our incoming death, no matter how hard we kick and scream or beg and plead.

This is why I haven't been able to CTB. What will I feel or think during the time between using a particular CTB method and unconsciousness/death? What if my last moments are of intense fear, terror, and panic?
This episode makes me excited. I view tgis as the final episode, far more thab the actual final episode, because this is how it was always going to end
 
BridgeJumper

BridgeJumper

The Arsonist
Apr 7, 2019
1,194
Depends on a person probably
For me, as soon as let go of the ledge I screamed, retched and flailed my arms.
But 'Im not a bird, Im not a plane'
And so I fell and near drowned anyway.

#SoMuchRegret
(But 10/10 will do it again off a higher bridge)
 
T

toomuchgrief

a grieving mother
Sep 15, 2019
401
WRONG

If you jump from 250ft or more with no interference (ex. bushes, people, cars, sides of a cliff, drag from a parachute or clothing) then you'll die instantaneously if you don't land on your feet.

^^^ This.
Jump is my #1 method. I aim at terminal velocity, so I'm jumping at 2,000 feet straight down rocks below, tthat leave you going at 200 km/hr.

Look at people who got into car accident on freeway and that going 80 m/hr, at that speed, impact was enough for them to pass out right away once they hit. NO WAY if you free fall with just your flesh body straight down 2,000 feet going at 200 km/hr. Guarantee you get knock out. No one can be conscious when going at that speed and land on concrete. That is a LOUD bang.
Even something light like boxing it enough to knock you out, let alone plunge a 2,000 feet height.

I'm just hoping I hit my head on the rocks below, head injury at that height it enough to kill me instantly. If not with that speed it will yank my heart out anyways. I read coroner say going at terminal velocity, your body basically it done inside. That big vein that carry blood to your whole body will rip once the impact hit, same with your heart artery. Not to mentioned all your bones will broke and it will pierce through your organs.
Better off, head injury, going 200 km/hr knock your head on the rock split your skull. You done.

They say if you going at terminal velocity which is 1,500+ feet, regardless of how you land, you done. Because it your flesh meat body against concrete below.

Wish me luck my friend. From your avatar I think you support the jumping method too.

I chose concrete. I'm scare of water due to I can't swim, and I been suffocate before when I was young, suffocate is a no good feeling, I don't want to experience suffocate again. So I rather just throw my flesh to concrete below than water. You brave if you chose water my friend.

Let hope 2,000 feet to concrete kill me. I don't mind the pain, as long as it result in me dead. :wink:

You have a height in mind? How high you plan to jump?

I'm going at this height in my hometown Shanghai, the height of that tallest building in the pic. You pray for me that this height is high enough to kill me.

Shanghai-Tower-China.jpg
 
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NefariousWish

NefariousWish

Member
Apr 30, 2020
69
Yeah, it might be. I used to be a diver back in high school on both swimming and diving and I got used to the rush of jumping from diving platforms and then later for fun from low cliffs and big rocks at swimming holes. I loved the feel of the rush of the air passing by. I don't think the darkness would scare me. Honest, I'd be most afraid of jumping and not falling flat, rather entering the water feet first and possibly surviving. I want to feel the rush, see the San Francisco city lights and then a smack that I only feel for a micro moment and I am knocked unconscious then the massive internal trauma sets in with death a little while later. The worst thing for me would be consciousness and then dying of drowning.
I don't think the GGB is high enough to die instantaneously upon impact.
^^^ This.
Jump is my #1 method. I aim at terminal velocity, so I'm jumping at 2,000 feet straight down rocks below, tthat leave you going at 200 km/hr.

Look at people who got into car accident on freeway and that going 80 m/hr, at that speed, impact was enough for them to pass out right away once they hit. NO WAY if you free fall with just your flesh body straight down 2,000 feet going at 200 km/hr. Guarantee you get knock out. No one can be conscious when going at that speed and land on concrete. That is a LOUD bang.
Even something light like boxing it enough to knock you out, let alone plunge a 2,000 feet height.

I'm just hoping I hit my head on the rocks below, head injury at that height it enough to kill me instantly. If not with that speed it will yank my heart out anyways. I read coroner say going at terminal velocity, your body basically it done inside. That big vein that carry blood to your whole body will rip once the impact hit, same with your heart artery. Not to mentioned all your bones will broke and it will pierce through your organs.
Better off, head injury, going 200 km/hr knock your head on the rock split your skull. You done.

They say if you going at terminal velocity which is 1,500+ feet, regardless of how you land, you done. Because it your flesh meat body against concrete below.

Wish me luck my friend. From your avatar I think you support the jumping method too.

I chose concrete. I'm scare of water due to I can't swim, and I been suffocate before when I was young, suffocate is a no good feeling, I don't want to experience suffocate again. So I rather just throw my flesh to concrete below than water. You brave if you chose water my friend.

Let hope 2,000 feet to concrete kill me. I don't mind the pain, as long as it result in me dead. :wink:

You have a height in mind? How high you plan to jump?

I'm going at this height in my hometown Shanghai, the height of that tallest building in the pic. You pray for me that this height is high enough to kill me.

Shanghai-Tower-China.jpg
800 ft over water is my idea. 2000 ft seems good. The only problem is you'll fall for 20 seconds. That will feel like a long time. There may be psychological torment before you land.
 
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Tintypographer

Tintypographer

I am done as of 4-21-2023. Somewhere I am no more
Apr 29, 2020
471
I feel the psychological torment is a lot easier to take than day to day problems. Unlike all the nervousness, the survival reflex and everything else, once I jump I'm resigned to the bus no matter what. Falling is not something I can back out of and I can actually be proud to have stepped off that ledge. 7 seconds 10 seconds, 20 seconds; it all ends the same once I get high enough to pass about 7 seconds and hit a hard surface. Even if I feel pain I won't survive long at all and there is a high probability of being knocked out on impact from the blunt force trauma.
 
Alec

Alec

Wizard
Apr 22, 2019
681
I love BoJack show, but I still haven't seen the last part yet. Although literally just yesterday I found online the poem you speak of. It was so beautiful, so painful and I don't even know. It makes sense I know it does but at the same time I don't know.
 
Tintypographer

Tintypographer

I am done as of 4-21-2023. Somewhere I am no more
Apr 29, 2020
471
I'm going at this height in my hometown Shanghai, the height of that tallest building in the pic. You pray for me that this height is high enough to kill me.

If you do jump from a building don't land on someone!
 
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toomuchgrief

a grieving mother
Sep 15, 2019
401
If you do jump from a building don't land on someone!

Thank you. Not jumping from that skyscraper. If I did, it would be in the middle of the night when there nobody below. But then you can't have access to that skyscraper in the middle of the night anyways. I just post that to show the height, it pretty high.

I do have a place to jump in my homeland. I just need this shut down open again so I can travel back to China to plunge. There nothing below where I jump, just rocks. With the height of 1,500+ feet. If anyone want to pull my dead body up they will need a helicopter to airlift me up. Unless they want to travel by feet down those rocks. I think helicopter airlift my body up it be faster.

It scary though to think when you be free fall for 10 seconds before you hit 1,500 feet below. Going at 200 km/hr, that is faster than cars on freeway go. And cars on freeway has seat belt and safety airbags to protect you if you crash. This time nothing, just your flesh meat body BAM to the ground. It scary to think of it. But that the only way.
And I ain't jumping unless I reach terminal velocity, you can't go any faster than 200 km/hr.

I'm tired of life. If there something I will see my dead son on the other side. If not that it. It be enteral unconscious like anesthesia but a forever eternal state.

A shotgun could do it, but I don't trust myself with a gun, if I flinch, I just blow half the my face and my brain still intact and I be facial deform. I need something that spread out injuries all over my body, if not my skull slam on the rocks, then my heart will yank out from the impact. I let gravity do it work.

I do have a tactical shotgun here in the U.S. as back up, if 1,500 feet is too high for me to look down, then I will book a flight home and finish myself with a shotgun to my head. That be so quick, I just need one second to pull the trigger, and that the end.

Good luck with whatever method you chose.

btw, I don't trust the Golden Gate. That bridge is 250 feet clearance below, meaning from where you stand on the bridge to you hit the water. That is LOWWWWWWW
Who the hell would want to jump 250 feet, I sure don't. I'm sorry, I'm going for 2,000 feet. I need 10x height times that GG bridge stack on each others first before I would jump. You only have once chance, do it well.
 
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gus.nixon

gus.nixon

and now we rise and we are everywhere
Apr 19, 2020
309
I agree about the GG Bridge. Even with a 98% death rate, if I was in the 2% that lived, I wouldn't have the same life anymore. I'd be way worse off than before physically.
 

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