chemicalburns
Member
- Dec 8, 2024
- 26
Throughout all my life I've been scared to show myself, afraid of judgment
I've been taking vocal lessons for about a year but I haven't singed at home because I'm afraid I'd be judged by my parents (especially my mom)
I haven't posted much here because I'm afraid of being judged by my poor writing skills or simply for being the way I am
I spend my three years of high school ashamed just for being there
My brain tells me I'm a failure, I'm envious and I should be ashamed of bring alive
I always wear bland clothes because I'm afraid to go out wearing my band tshirts
I'm afraid of being called a creep for my preferences or political positions
I'm afraid of saying why I want to kill myself because I'm afraid of feeling ashamed!
You get the point, I'm a coward
I feel jealous of other people, but at the same time I feel bad for being so envious
I see people more fortunate than me walking with their girlfriends and all I can think of is "Wouldn't it be funny if they got in a really bad car accident? Wouldn't I feel so good if that happened?" just to immediately feel extremely bad "why am I thinking that? They have nothing to do with me"
I feel inferior to everyone and I feel like I've wasted my youth doing nothing meaningful
My parents are always talking about how I should quit my job and go to college because "You could save up to buy a car!" without thinking about why I would even want any of these things!
I see people talking about how they lost their virginities at like 17 and I'm like "I'm so behind everyone. Why even keep living? What's the point of going through this when you feel humiliated every waking moment?"
I'm just a cute boy that needs attention
(I know this text sounds disjointed and a little overwhelming. I apologize for my poor writing skills but I really needed to pu t this out here.)
I've been taking vocal lessons for about a year but I haven't singed at home because I'm afraid I'd be judged by my parents (especially my mom)
I haven't posted much here because I'm afraid of being judged by my poor writing skills or simply for being the way I am
I spend my three years of high school ashamed just for being there
My brain tells me I'm a failure, I'm envious and I should be ashamed of bring alive
I always wear bland clothes because I'm afraid to go out wearing my band tshirts
I'm afraid of being called a creep for my preferences or political positions
I'm afraid of saying why I want to kill myself because I'm afraid of feeling ashamed!
You get the point, I'm a coward
I feel jealous of other people, but at the same time I feel bad for being so envious
I see people more fortunate than me walking with their girlfriends and all I can think of is "Wouldn't it be funny if they got in a really bad car accident? Wouldn't I feel so good if that happened?" just to immediately feel extremely bad "why am I thinking that? They have nothing to do with me"
I feel inferior to everyone and I feel like I've wasted my youth doing nothing meaningful
My parents are always talking about how I should quit my job and go to college because "You could save up to buy a car!" without thinking about why I would even want any of these things!
I see people talking about how they lost their virginities at like 17 and I'm like "I'm so behind everyone. Why even keep living? What's the point of going through this when you feel humiliated every waking moment?"
I'm just a cute boy that needs attention
(I know this text sounds disjointed and a little overwhelming. I apologize for my poor writing skills but I really needed to pu t this out here.)
